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Ok. I've just recently came out of my shell and started gaining the confidence to go talk to girls. It was just my luck that the first one I found was in a relationship. I met her about 6 days ago on Myspace, then promptly came to her work two days in a row. About the 5th day I knew her I took her out to Seattle and had a really really fun night. She was all into it, but I could tell she thought about him a lot. She wanted to flirt, but she didn't at the same time. I am not being coneited, I really did impress her. Anyways.

 

Her boyfriend broke up with her last night, and she's been telling me even when they were together how much she liked me and how sweet I was and how that if they did break up we would definetly get together. Sure enough it happened last night, and I haven't been asking her at all about it because she needs time it was a 6 month relationship. However he has a drug problem, and my personal feelings are that he chose the drug over her, which I know from experience is tough. So what should I do?

 

I'm still texting her quite often on my cell, she's with family today... I'm going to buy her (flowers?) tomorrow and bring them to her work. Do you think something else would make her more happy? She's really sad.. Some people have been telling me not to spend money on her because she could easily get back with him, but I have such strong feelings for this girl I could care less. In addition I recently (finally) got over my marijuana habit. Haven't spent money or smoked it in 2 weeks which is quite a leap for someone who was throwing down hundreds every week on it.

 

Please feel free to critisize anything I've said, if I did something wrong or if you have questions please feel free, I need to learn....

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It's almost too much of a coincidince that it happened the day after I took her out. He told her that it was because they didn't see eachother very often. That makes me think that he found out about us going out, but she insisted he wouldn't care. I think possibly she wanted to break up with him in some ways but also she loves him. I don't know!! I would do anything for this girl... I just don't want to do the wrong thing.

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No flowers, no flowers, no flowers. Take her somewhere and do something together, no movies, an activity. Play miniture golf, go rockclimb, bowling, anything, but do something. And just have fun and tell her you are trying to have fun, nothing more than that.

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She works from 3-10 4 days a week. She is with family in Seattle tonight. I could tell her I'm going to take her to a movie after work and i'll pick her up from there?

 

Last minute plans should be avoided if possible. If you know her well, a movie is okay but the problem with movies is not only that they are generic, but they do not allow the two of you to flirt, talk, and build chemistry. Better dates would be a place where you two can bond and get closer through flirting and teasing. I don't know your age but if 21 a quiet bar would be good, the park, etc.

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Something fun would cheer her up and bond you two. Take her to something interactive like minature golf, bowling or to a video arcade. Or to an amusement park. Then you'd be doing something fun together, but still have a chance to interact (which a movie doesn't allow you to do, really).

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what's wrong with flowers? I would like flowers if I were her, but you probably should give her space to deal with the end of the first relationship. Just maybe take it slow, you know, cause she just broke up w/ someone she cared about.

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You guys are too scared of flowers, sheesh. The last girl i gave them too would be the second person who seemingly enjoyed them. ALL GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT. You cannot force yourself to look from only one point of view. I agree that flowers are a risky idea, but you do what you think is a good decision.

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You guys are too scared of flowers, sheesh. The last girl i gave them too would be the second person who seemingly enjoyed them. ALL GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT. You cannot force yourself to look from only one point of view. I agree that flowers are a risky idea, but you do what you think is a good decision.

 

Cold, you aren't getting it. The girl you gave those flowers to was not interested in you, but when your friend asked her if she liked the flowers, what do you honestly think her answer was going to be? Her answer is going to be that she enjoyed them, bottom line. There is no other answer for her to give. She's not going to say that she thought it was a bit forward, she's not going to say that it came accross as if you were trying to prove how nice of a guy you are, etc. She's being polite, like anyone would in that situation so don't try to use her response as some kind of justification.

 

Flowers should be spared until a later time, not first dates or during the "asking out" phase.

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about flowers - for what do you need them? You don't need them for anything, it's not a requirement for success. But they could harm your chances, so why risk it?

 

Markers, you have it right.

 

Sometimes in love you gotta take some chances, though. She might appreciate that you were willing to go out on a limb to show her you care. Why is everybody against flowers? Flowers aren't scary, they are nice.

 

We did a thread on this before, and not only have we already delved into this, all the dating experts, men and women both, have agreed that gifts and flowers are generally not a good idea for first dates.

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