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The date debate


rowboat
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Rowboat,

 

The best place you can take someone on a date is a place they enjoy.

 

A memorable date was when a woman bought tix to a professional soccer game. That woman knew what she was doing.

 

It's all about what she likes, not what you like - remember this easy bit and you'll appear golden.

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Well, MY favourite date locations won't really be right for "your love interest" because they won't be picking up on HER personality, right?

 

My favourite dates have been doing anything from playing pool, to mountain biking, to going climbing, to coffee and walks along the river. Ultimately, it is more about having fun together, and whom you are with, and doing something that will be enjoyable for you both.

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I can describe what I consider to be the best standard first date. But that's for going out with someone I do not know. Once we know each other, you need to adjust for them. And, there is no one perfect, because you need variation in your dates. You cannot just do the same thing every day.

 

My best standard first date: moderately priced Italian restaurant, decent food, atmosphere acceptable for a date, but also ok for almost anything, lightly that's only a low, food that covers a broad spectrum, so everyone can find something to eat, AND it must have a cold antipasta plate available as an appetizer. I can order it for us to share, if she opts not to have an appetizer. Entrees and drinks, up to you, at least discuss if you should think about bottle of wine (provided you are of age). After dinner, ask her not to order coffee or dessert, and walk with her to someplace close be that serves pretty much only coffee and/or dessert, end the night right afterward. That's it, use it, but only when you don't know her well enough to tailor it to her personality. (Please change her above to him, if you think it's appropriate, the date still works).

 

When you are doing the asking, have a plan and execute it. Don't ask in the middle of it what to do next. If you run out of plan, end the date.

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Rowboat,

 

The best place you can take someone on a date is a place they enjoy.

 

A memorable date was when a woman bought tix to a professional soccer game. That woman knew what she was doing.

 

It's all about what she likes, not what you like - remember this easy bit and you'll appear golden.

 

I actually disagree with this. The date is not so much about where you go, it has more to do with you. If she is interested in you then she will have fun simply having you there, as long as you act confidently and have a good time yourself.

 

I find that if you start worrying about what she wants to do, where she wants to go, then guys start wasting time, start second guessing himself, start worrying too much about her mood, her time, etc. None of these thoughts should be entering your mind at all during a first date.

 

Your goal on the first date is to go out and have fun. If she likes you and you are having fun (as long as you are including her on the fun) then she will have fun too-outside some strange circumstance.

 

If you just do what she wants then that also could end up being something you don't feel comfortable with and it have negative effects on what kind of date you turn out to be if you are taken out of your normal comfort zone.

 

During a first date, take her somewhere you can talk, someplace you can have fun, and go do it. I am not suggestion you ignore her feelings, but am saying that if you do those things, she'll have a good time just being with you.

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Let me clear this up, sorry about that. Beec was right about how I intended my response. I meant that after you're seeing someone almost exclusively or exclusively, suggest a date to their liking. This would be otherwise impossible for a first date because you know next to nothing about them.

 

A first date is mostly screening and having a good time. Some of the best first dates I've had started out with an average priced dinner - usually Italian or American food due to it's widely accepted taste. Then, if she makes the dinner cut I'll suggest we go do an activity such as golf, bowling, or even grab a drink elsewhere. If she doesn't make the cut, the date ends immediately after dinner and her number is deleted.

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After you've become exclusive or have been dating awhile it's good to go back and forth. Her thing, your thing, her thing, your thing, as much as possible. The last thing you want to do is either hog it all for yourself or become a pushover who's sole purpose is to do what she wants to do.

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I prefer to simply grab a couple drinks at a bar or lounge on the first date. Like Chai said, this first date is simply a screening process for both of us. And I try to keep the date around 2-3 hours long. If it goes well, I'll ask her out to dinner/bowling/pool/whatever a few days later. If a woman suggests dinner on a first date it will usually turn me off and suggest to me she's simply out for the free meal. Less is better. Save the pricey stuff for later on.

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I prefer to simply grab a couple drinks at a bar or lounge on the first date. Like Chai said, this first date is simply a screening process for both of us. And I try to keep the date around 2-3 hours long. If it goes well, I'll ask her out to dinner/bowling/pool/whatever a few days later. If a woman suggests dinner on a first date it will usually turn me off and suggest to me she's simply out for the free meal. Less is better. Save the pricey stuff for later on.

 

Well said.

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I would prefer to DO something on a first date. Sometimes sitting at a bar or coffeeshop or eating dinner can feel rather awkward. Watching a movie doesn't offer much connection either, unless you see an early show and then grab a bit after (you can talk about the movie at least!).

 

My ideal first dates would be simple and fun activities that allow for talking and flirting. Minature golf, bowling, pool, etc.

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