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Is it normal to be utterly convinced your significant other is going to break up with you despite the fact that


1) They frequently tell you how much they love you

2) You get on fabulously

3) You have never had an argument in 10 months

4) You've been on a fortnight's holiday that went very well relationship-wise

5) You have no evidence whatsover


To the extent that you join link removed, loiter around Break Up Messageboards and the like?


Thought not.


I know I suffer Delusions and Dislocation From Reality, but this really bites when it makes me doubt everything including my raison d'etre and my relationship.


I have no way of knowing why I have these thoughts - and, ironically, I'll bet if I WAS being messed around, I bet I wouldn't notice.


(Latest example was a 4 hour panic attack on holiday when I was convinced that an alien invasion was imminent - my boyfriend was quiet unsettled by that, but to me, it felt completely real).



A Stupid Naive Little Girl With A Mental Illness

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That's OK,


I know you will not want to believe me but you are getting better and you develop more open feelings. You are learning how to love yourself and will learn to LOVE others.


It may surprise you but I am quite sure that you are not in love with Xal, because you are now learning what love is.


I talked a lot with itsallgrand and this is a long thread I want you to read: , and later threads by her.


Her story is different, but her feelings about her bf are similar!


I bet that you are all confused now, that is normal too!


Take your time, patience and persistence.

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Oh Anti


You are not alone my friend. At one time or another we all have had those thoughts. However, you can't continue to give them any power. You have to learn to let go of it all and just trust. For some that can be hard, especially if they have been hurt in the past. We think "is this person going to do the same thing?"


As for loitering on break-up message boards. Don't loiter help out others. You are a smart girl and perhaps something you say to another might just might make a difference in their life.


Believe in yourself. That is key. Believe that you are worth it. Believe that your relationship is in a good place.


Bottom line is believe in yourself, let go, and trust..



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A week ago or so, you told us that your boyfriend expressed the fear that you'd break up with him. Is your fear connected to that? Or are you in fact talking about the fear of your bf? I don't think there is any reason to assume things won't work out for the two of you. You are not insane, in fact you're a wise and tough cookie I am also in a very happy relationship, but sometimes I tend to worry about things as well. There is no reason but the past experiences for it. Because of course, if you had relationships before the current one, they all ended and possibly in not the best ways. That is the baggage most of us have when we enter a new relationship. I think it is wise to find out what makes you believe things will end badly. Is it part of a general fear that life will throw bad things on your plate?



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Yes, that IS silly!! You love each other so much! I think both of you have insecurities that make you feel like this. You should maybe discuss this with him and talk to each other to find ways to reassure each other. But the true power to change the insecurity, that comes from within. That is why a very insecure person will not be convinced of someone elses love, they are incapable of seeing themselves the way the other person does.



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I have the feeling we both have a fear of being dumped by each other, but neither of us have any desire whatsoever to break up. Which is rather silly.


To be fair, Xal does have a reason to feel like that.


On the other hand, you are constantly trying to make up a reason for Xal to dump you.

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Hi there, You sound like you are suffering from a mental illness and know it. For an 18 year old that is amazing - you are one bright girl!!!! You just keep that 'sane' part of your mind up front and let the 'schitzo' part do what it will.


I know it is hard to do but I know you can do it - lay off any 'smokes' they make it worse. You sound like one great girl - I wish you all the best

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