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Hey Everybody!!!

Thanks you so very much for all of your love and support. And thank you to all of you who have responded to my posts, you've been a light in my dark times.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate you.

Things are actually great today! Can you believe it?! I never thought I'd be saying that anytime soon, but I actually feel really good.

I feel like crying (in a good way, lol)!

I don't what to say. Life is actually looking pretty good.

I mean I actually have a plan.

I've decided to make a collage (sorry, I don't know how to spell the word) of all of my dreams.

Everything I want in life, all that I see as beauty.

When I complete it, I'll get it lamenated (spelling?).

I'm actually really excited about the idea.

That way, when I wonder what is there left to live for...I can sit in the middle of my floor, and just stare at it.

Anyways, there is something else...

I'm a little nervous.

Today my dad and I are going to see my counselor.

I'm feeling so good, and I'm afraid that the session might bring me down.

I mean, in my mind, I've made accomplishments, things are getting better. That's an accomplishment, improvement.

What if they don't agree?

What if they are critical of me because I have accomplished much in their minds?

What if they see my new found happiness as a small matter?

I mean, it means so much to me...I don't want anyone to dismiss it as insignificant.

What if their dismissal makes me sad???

What will I do?

What could I say?

How do I defend myself, how do I get them to be happy about the small victories, the way that I am?

I feel that they'll look down on me and judge me for the things I haven't done.

I try to express that things take time.

I try to say, that I'm moving as quickly as I can.

But so many times I feel like my voice in being lost in the wind.

And then I feel small again.

I'm so tired of feeling small. I want to feel happy, the way I do now.

I want to feel that my life has significance.

I want to be appreciated for who I am, and not just what I do.

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hey i have read your other threads and im soo happy that you are sounding more positive. that collage (i think that is the right spelling btw lol) is a very good idea..this way if you feel down again you can look back at that and remind yourself of the good things that you have going for you - good luck and keep this up!

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Hi Grace,

 

You are doing better again. You had a good day!

 

You dad loves you very much!, your fiance and your whole family love you and stand behind you!

 

We here are very proud of your progress!

 

There will be more and MORE good days!

 

What about pin RED notes about your happy days on your bedroom wall.

 

Do not let adversity bring you down!

 

There will be bad days too, but less and less, always remember your HAPPY days and strive to have more happy days.

 

Perhaps you should start collecting happy RED notes?

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Hi there, I don't know if you saw the coucillor yet or not, but here is something I wrote the other day that might shed some light on what typically happen during sessions with therapists...

 

 

 

hope this helps to ease your axiety a bit!

 

Stay well!

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