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hi, i am 53, married and bisexual, and have a wife that has no problems with this although i can't bring boyfriends home at all. i go with quite a few guys that are also married or in a hetero relationship and they find this quite unusual, so are there other guys out there like me who have a wife who doesn't mind them having sex with other men/boys? she has always said that she would not be happy with me having affairs with women, but with men she doesn't feel threatened. she does not join in, although she does like to watch bisexual (and some gay) dvds with me, and will happily give me oral, or a hand job, when we are watching.

we live in leicester, UK, where there is a big asian population. As I like asian boys, and find them nearly all to be bisexual (it is the same in india and pakistan where i have sometimes visited) so i am rarely short of a new partner.


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So you have sex with guys? Don't you know that you are cheating on your wife... even though she's not "threatened" with males? You are having sex outside of your marriage...


Are you looking for someone else? Because it seems like it. Why are you doing this to your wife...

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Hi John,


Welcome to eNotAlone.


You seem to have an open relationship, it's not cheating, if you can be bi it's fine, but you can't automatically expect your wife to be happy with this situation.


You do not mention sex with her, I suspect your wife may be sexualy frustrated if you give your power to others. After all, you (and me) are not 23 anymore and I have to watch myself to keep up with my gf (36) - daily on average.


Please talk to her about what makes her happy as well. I am sure she has not told you all.

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If your wife is okay with it, then I guess it is not up to us, right?


Some relationships do have these open agreements (though personally I cannot understand them and would never have them!) and it works for them. I just hope that she is also allowed to explore on her side if she so wanted, and I REALLY hope you are using protection both with these other men AND when with your wife.


Um, but I also noted you made a distinction between men and "boys", just how young are these boyfriends you get involved with? I sure as heck hope they are of legal age...

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You are presenting a unique situation, that most people do not understand. If this doesnt present a problem in your relationship then it would seem that this works for your marriage. I dont know how common this situation would be but if it works for you then go with it.

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