How can he Truely Love his wife??

[ladyaffair]

My Story. I have been involved in an emotional affair with a MM now since Jan. We have know each other for 8 years, we live very close to one another.

 

I told him of my attraction to him in Jan, he said he felt the same attraction. With that out in the open we have continued to talk a couple of times per week, when we are alone. We made the mistake of hugging onto each other one day that lead to more hug's, some touching and so forth, but no actual Sex.

 

In late may we spent to hours alone together mostly talking, I think that day we realized that if we dont' stop we could go all the way. The problem here is I believe we are in love. I can feel it when we look at each other. I just told him I loved him for the first time the other day. He did not say it back but he does not have to.

 

We talked again the next day. I asked him if he would ever leave his wife for me, his repsonse was he could never hurt my husband. I thought that was strange because if he REALLY loves his wife wouldn't he say he would be afriad of hurting her first? Also how can he love her to the degree he say's if #1 he does not even think what we have done so far is infedelity? I know that I am not in love with my husband the way I used to be, but at least I know that.

 

He also seems to want to end our little thing here, but than say's he would like to hug one minute every now and then, then the next minute NO hugging? I am soooo confused because I REALLY love him!

[annie24]

welcome to eNotalone.

 

to be honest, I think it is significant that he didn't tell you he loved you back. I think if he meant it, he would have said it.

 

Either way, you both are dealing with fire here, you both are married, why are you risking everything?

 

I think that ending this relationship would be best for everyone involved. There's just too much at stake.

 

good luck

[RayKay]

Regardless of what he feels for his wife, it's pretty clear that from here at least that he has no intention on leaving her. I think the fact he has not said he loves you is also rather significant. I would not exactly say he loves his wife either (at least not as she deserves) if he is having this affair with you, but nor does that mean he loves you. Remember, just because YOU feel it, does not mean he does.

 

But honestly, I think those details really don't matter, because at this point you are both cheating, and betraying your partners. If you realize you don't love your husband fine...but then either make a commitment to work on your marriage together, or to leave, before you get involved with someone else. And get involved with someone whom is NOT married or in a relationship with someone else.

 

I think it is time to end this, because honestly, it's not going to end well, especially as he seems to really be very mixed about it in the first place.

[ladyaffair]

welcome to eNotalone.

 

to be honest, I think it is significant that he didn't tell you he loved you back. I think if he meant it, he would have said it.

 

Either way, you both are dealing with fire here, you both are married, why are you risking everything?

 

I think that ending this relationship would be best for everyone involved. There's just too much at stake.

 

good luck

 

Thanks for your reply. When I told him I loved him he smiled and I hugged him and his heart was beating so fast. I did not ask him to say it back cause I did not ask him if he loves me. I know we should end this but it's very hard when your head over heels in love. I believe love is more of an action than a feeling and his actions speak to me very clearly.

[ElektraHere]

Lady,

 

If and I say if this were to evolve into something what makes you think it would survive? This relationship has been built on betrayal, lies, and broken promises. I think that him not telling you he loves you is a GIANT red flag. You should be thinking of your husband right now. The one you made vows and promises to.

Head over heels in love? Perhaps its lust disguised as love. As to love is more of an action than a feeling. His actions speak clear to me he doesnt love you and like RayKay mentioned he may not love his wife either. He seems like an individual who has his cake and is eating it too.

You know when you play with fire inevitably you WILL get burned.