still confused as to....

[sukerbut]

i mean its been ten months already..i have partially moved on .. i am not depressed or anythign liek that..i feel pretty good, in a new relationship! and don't get me wrong i do miss what we had..i just dont understand how one can discount how many great times we had..was i the only one there?..how can you go from being someone's quote on qoute "most favortite person in teh world" and "you make me so happy , please dont break my heart !!! and we are going to getr married right?" go to a honeymoon type vacation and a month later...regress to "i cant ever imagine being with you...never mind having children with you"..all in teh tiem span of amonth...even if it got a lil hairy in our last mointh..is this not to extreme? i know i should forget about it..but its just does not make any sense as to how something so good can go so bad in a months time span. This as been buggin me alot lately, i do not know why, but i guess i would get some insight. Can people actually change so much in a months time? insight would be aoppreciated, cause things that do not make sense bother me.

[cheecago]

Trust me they can. I have been in your situation and we were supposed to get married and buy a house and everything and then the bomb came.

 

I think in your case maybe she tried to "fake it" in a sense that she wanted to make believe to herself that's what she wanted, like she wanted to keep it alive but she just coudn't fake it anymore. I know that was the case with my ex. Did her actions change towards you? My ex's actions changed a lot and I should've picked up the signals but didn't, like she was trying to make me do the move (breakup).

 

Hope this helped a little bit.

[sukerbut]

dude i think you are right..yeah her actions changed .. big time..after we got back from vacsation she became aloof and unnatentive. direspectful almost towards me..so when i saw her slipping i bacame i crazy lunatic..even though i know my actions had nothign to do with ehr breaking up with me i still blame myself. when someone is slipping you knwo its over...so my actions might of just hastened the process...man i remember i put her favorite cologne on and she was like what is that...i was liek your favoirite..she was like really? it does not smell teh same..OUCH..but yeah she even said..i tried i really tried, but i jsut could not do it any more..her actions never emulated her words even in the beginning of the relationship..the third beginning if i might add!!! . I knew it was never going to work out in the first place...but the challenge and of course the love i had for her made me fight a losing battle that iw as never going to win. and this i knew deep down inside.

[ElektraHere]

Sukerbut,

 

You really need to move on from this. Go back to some of your last posts. You were happy, confident, and seemed well on your way. Its like you are almost around the board and you seem to pick up the "Go to jail" card again and again. Get out of the Monopoly she has on you and move on.

[eleanorrigby1]

When someone changes this much in a short space, when a break up comes totally out of the blue, then the relationship was fading for a while its just neither was prepared to admit it. She may have been faking, but not to hurt you, in a bid to convince herself.

 

I was with someone a few years ago, he had his heart broken before he met me by a total * * * * * and he decided that I was a nice girl and he found me attractive. Within a couple of months he was telling me how much he loved me and how much better than his ex I was and that he cant believe he wasted time with someone like her and it was as if I was the one he had been waiting for all his life.

 

I was totally head over heels and he sent me romantic texts twice a day, one saying "I love you beautiful, more and more with every beat of my heart"

 

It was Christmas and he spent it with me and my family and then New Year I spent with him and his and it was lovely. He rang me in work the day after New Year when we all went back to work and he said "hey Im outside your office you wanna meet for din?" I came down, it was fine, we went for a sandwhich had a natter, he kissed me and said "I will see you tonight babe" He came round, said he didnt feel too well, he went home early he said to me "goodnight babe, I love you", the next day he rang me in the morning told me to meet him at dinner, I met him, within three seconds he blurted out "I am stressed about us! I hink you are great and eveything, but..." I said "you dont love me?" He said "No.."

 

He admitted that he had been thinking and contemplating it for MONTHS! that he had "TRIED" can you imagine how I felt?

 

He had been pretending and practically forcing himself t love me by saying it over and over to convince himself.

 

He hadnt done it to be malicious, he wanted to love me, he thought i was the right girl to love, but he couldnt and he didnt and he should never have 'tried'.

 

People do and they don't realise how much of a shock it is when they appear to just 'change their mind'.

 

Im sorry this happened to you. You will move on in time. You have a new relationship you say? Either focus on that or leave her be, dont let this girl be your 'pretend' while you get over your ex.

[sukerbut]

guys thanks alot...elanorby you hit the nail on the head..this was exactly what iw as looking for