I don't really know what to expect...

[Balbina]

I met this guy off the street. Literally. It was one of those totally random stories you hear about that never actually happens. He was head-banging and singing at the top of his lungs and I was driving alongside him, laughing when I noticed he was actually gorgeous.

 

We ended up next to one another at the lights and I initiated a conversation on his singing and ended up getting his number by the time the light turned green again.

 

The first date we went on was relatively casual. We went for ice cream but spent hours talking about everything. It was so surreal...the conversation flowed and he kept bringing up these weird things that totally spoke to me. It was like he was talking about my life. I ended up sharing a lot with him that day and he opened up a lot to me too about his personal life. It was honestly, like fate brought us together. We're so similar in life experiences, it was scary.

 

Anyways, after that time I went out with him another time for dinner. I felt a little awkward after my soul-bearing first encounter with him but it was fun. The third date, we ended up fooling around but no sex. After a couple of more dates and intense foreplay, we started sleeping together.

 

Here's the thing: I'm keeping my space. He's leaving at the end of the summer to move to the states and I'm staying here for another year only as well. I only talk to him maybe once or twice a week and see him that many times as well. I don't call and he does rarely. When we see each other, it's great...but we both know he's leaving and it won't necessarily go anywhere.

 

At first, I was okay with this, obviously. And for some weird reason, I thought it would be better to not be seriously involved with all the perks. But now...I still know he's leaving and I'm ok with that, but I expect a little more initiative from his part. I kind of think, if a guy is really into me, he should be trying a little harder to see me, etc.

 

Now, my friend said it's probably because he knows he's leaving that he's trying to sort of keep his distance. I think it's a plausible explaination but at the same time, it bothers me. I want to be seeing someone more than once a week if we're dating.

 

I am starting to debate the sexual aspect as well. We've only had sex about three times because we're not always alone when we go out, or in private. I know it's not all about sex for him and while it's amazing, it's not all about it for me either. But I think sex complicates things more than anything...what if I become more serious about it because of it? Plus, he doesn't get the cookies for free.

 

I do like him but now I've sort of backed off. The last time I saw him, last Sunday, we had a blast. When he dropped me off, we said we'd keep in touch and he'd come see me during the week. I called him on Monday to say what's up - which I never really do because I'm not a phone person really. We didn't talk about meeting up, just small talk. After that, he said we'd "keep in touch" (He always says that instead of an actual set time)

 

I was a little miffed that he did not ask to see me on a set day but didn't say anything. I didn't call him all week. He called me on Thursday to make small talk again and say he's going out with his boys. I said ok and to have fun. He didn't call me Friday or Saturday, but I received a text message from him at 1:30AM on Saturday. I didn't reply.

 

Yesterday I sent him a text saying: "You're such a random drunk text-er" I knew he must have been drunk...and was vexed he didn't remember me earlier on.

He: "What's wrong with that?"

Me: "Lol, nothing. I just prefer them sober. What's up?"

He: "Better a drunk text than none at all. I'm at my moms, you?"

Me: "With the girls. Call me when you're done there."

 

I thought for sure he wouldn't call but at that point didn't really care. I'm starting to get really fed up and I won't be calling him or chasing him around either. I know some guys hate it but I'm not going to put a lot of effort into it. If he calls me, I'll call him. Otherwise, I see it as he is not that interested. And if he's not...well, why waste my time?

 

He ended up calling me last night but I missed the call... I was surprised he actually did call. He just bothers me with calling. When we're together, he's always sweet, makes these little references, etc. When we talk it's always great...I just feel like contact is key. I'm not a big phone person, but he doesn't call me half as much as I think he should.

 

I feel like it's almost a game. He seems used to having girls chase him and I won't give in. I think that kind of pisses him off.

 

I know what to expect because I know he is leaving but at the same time, is it wrong to expect a little something more? If you're going to get involved, why not do it right instead of half-arsed because you're afraid of something? I like to keep my space and my life intact when I'm dating someone but this is even a little hard on me.

 

He's a great guy but I'm kind of getting fed up with the contact thing. Any imput?

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

That guy sounds flakey. I don't like receiving texts. How hard is it to speak? Communication with texting is so skeletal and limited. Maybe tell him not to text anymore and to just telephone you instead. Also, is it possible to shut off any texting service?

[DN]

Is there not a contradiction here in what you are prepared to do and what you expect him to do in furthering the relationship?