hoppy27 Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 again at 29 years old i find myself hating the "dating scene". ive been in serious relationships since i was 15 up until i was 26. i never had to do the dating thing. i just alwayas had a girlfriend. now highschool and college are over im not sure what im doing. i have had a few dates in the last year. 2 to be exact. like the other girls ive been with the first was an aggresive type of girl so i really didnt have to do a alot. meaning to land the date. that ended in her being a flake. actually she wanted to "spread her oats" if you will. anyway.........the second girl has recently left me confused. we were hooked up through a mutual friend. she's 22 again i just turned 29. we have had to back to back, friday night dates. with the last one ending with a goodnight kiss. we had alot of fun. she even said as we got home she had alot of fun. i thought it was a goodnight and a step in the right direction. i told her i would call her and she said "great" with a big smile. i have 2 calls in to her since friday. i havent heard back from her. is that it.............game over?? does the "three strikes your out rule come into effect here"??? im not desperate and certainly dont want to look that way. she's a beautifull woman and i had fun with her. i thought the feeling was mutual. i really stink at reading woman. does a goodnight hug/kiss mean "ok ill never talk to you again but have a goodnight"????????? this "dating scene" is tough work. im not sure what im supposed to do now. i really thought we would talk again. iknow people are busy.............i was told "a girl will call you back if she is interested". am i jumping the gun? if i dont hear from her by say next monday do i try again or is it game over already???? i repeat i do not want to look desperate!!!!!! Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 hoppy - it is tough work... I would say no more calls. If you've called her 2ce in almost a week, I'd say she's not calling back for a reason. I think it would reek of desparation a bit if you were to call yet again. It may be time to move on... NEXT! sorry dude. Link to comment
coollady1957 Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 If I were you I would NOT call back. I agree with Ta_ree_saw. You have called two times already, and its been nearly a week. I would say forget her and move on. I hate when people do not return phone calls. I give them one chance , but after that, if they are interested, I say its up to them to call back. Otherwise, MOVE ON ! Link to comment
shelly7 Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Yeah, if you put in two calls already, game over. Sorry. And I think it's important that you don't take it personally and I'll tell you why. It sounds like you both had a great time, but you don't know what she has going on in her life, maybe an exboyfriend lurking in the backround, maybe someone else she's been dating, there are so many variables. So please don't take it personally and keep getting out there and don't lose that positive attitude you have. Positive guys are such a turn on! You'll meet a girl that's ready soon enough. Have as much fun in the meantime! Link to comment
yeawutever Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 If you had already made two calls and yet haven't heard from her ever, then it's time to move on and go for another girl. It's her loss if she doesn't want to return your call. Link to comment
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Could it be you said or did something at the end there that put her off? Did say anything? Do you remember? Link to comment
hoppy27 Posted July 21, 2006 Author Share Posted July 21, 2006 thats the thing...........i cant think of anything that would have turned her off. seriously i thought it was a great time and i thought she did to. ohwell now i know. Link to comment
moondog627 Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Like everyone else already said, I wouldn't call her. However, there are steps you can take to avoid getting wrapped up in the future. Firstly, you may want to date women a little closer to your age. Secondly, I would HIGHLY recommend you date more than one woman until you decide to pursue something serious with one of them. This takes the focus off any one of them and helps to give you that "I don't care" attitude that is ESSENTIAL in early phases of dating. Best of luck in the future. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 thats the thing...........i cant think of anything that would have turned her off. seriously i thought it was a great time and i thought she did to. ohwell now i know. You may not have done anything big to turn her off, maybe she just wasn't that into you. It could be that you did something small to kill it so if you want to possibly figure out what it might be then post the whole date and how things went. One thing I would recommend is that you do not schedule dates for Friday or Saturday. Set up dates from Sunday-Thursday. First off, you do not want to seem like you have nothing else to do during a weekend, and second, you don't want to move in on her weekends either. She may start chatting with her friends and they might be telling her about the cool party she missed out on or the awesome comedy show they saw without her and who knows what happens when she starts weighing you against the good times her friends are having. You don't want to charge in and take her weekends up this early in the game. Stick to Sunday-Thursday. Also, if a date goes good, don't move in for the hug, kiss her good night. Link to comment
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 One thing I would recommend is that you do not schedule dates for Friday or Saturday. Set up dates from Sunday-Thursday. First off, you do not want to seem like you have nothing else to do during a weekend, and second, you don't want to move in on her weekends either. I don't agree with that Diggity, I work a lot during the week, and I schedule any extra work for Sundays, too. Because I consider Sat my fun day. I'm too tired and not exactly feeling fresh after a long hard day's work, I don't want to have the first few dates with a guy I might like feeling spent like that. I want to look forward to it and have fun. If in the early stages, a guy did ask me for a Sun-Thurs date it would be a turnoff for me. Link to comment
moondog627 Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 I don't agree with that Diggity, I work a lot during the week, and I schedule any extra work for Sundays, too. Because I consider Sat my fun day. I'm too tired and not exactly feeling fresh after a long hard day's work, I don't want to have the first few dates with a guy I might like feeling spent like that. I want to look forward to it and have fun. If in the early stages, a guy did ask me for a Sun-Thurs date it would be a turnoff for me. While I'm sure everyone has their own method to dating, I also go by the Sun-Thurs dating routine AT FIRST. I've been on so many dates this past year and gone thru so many women that I'm DONE with wasting my valuable weekends and any significant money, at least in the early stages. My first 2-3 dates I set up for after work usually during mid-week at a bar over a couple drinks just to see if there's anything worth pursuing. After 2-3 successful dates then I'll go for a weekend date. For me, this strategy saves a lot of wasted time and money. Link to comment
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 While I'm sure everyone has their own method to dating, I also go by the Sun-Thurs dating routine AT FIRST. I've been on so many dates this past year and gone thru so many women that I'm DONE with wasting my valuable weekends and any significant money, at least in the early stages. My first 2-3 dates I set up for after work usually during mid-week at a bar over a couple drinks just to see if there's anything worth pursuing. After 2-3 successful dates then I'll go for a weekend date. For me, this strategy saves a lot of wasted time and money. Just giving this woman's point of view. You could choose to ignore it, but then that does seem to defeat the purpose of asking for advice.... Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 I don't agree with that Diggity, I work a lot during the week, and I schedule any extra work for Sundays, too. Because I consider Sat my fun day. I'm too tired and not exactly feeling fresh after a long hard day's work, I don't want to have the first few dates with a guy I might like feeling spent like that. I want to look forward to it and have fun. If in the early stages, a guy did ask me for a Sun-Thurs date it would be a turnoff for me. If you are too busy during the week to have a date, then of course your only option is to have a weekend date. That doesn't change the fact that the vast majority of people in the US are available for weekday dates, and that it is far better to have a date scheduled for those days rather than a weekend in the early stages. Plus, I seriously doubt if the right guy came along that you would dismiss him as not date worthy for offering to take you out on a Thursday night. Link to comment
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Plus, I seriously doubt if the right guy came along that you would dismiss him as not date worthy for offering to take you out on a Thursday night. No, I wouldn't dismiss him as such, I would simply let him know that I wasn't available on Thursday, but that I was on Saturday. I don't think the right guy would find it impossible to respect my scheduling needs, and find a Saturday that was free. In fact for the most part I have dated on the weekends. This actually seems to be a pretty common practice amongst those of us who work during the week, and not at all a special request or accommodation, as you seem to be suggesting. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 The goal is to make the attempt to schedule weekday dates. I am not suggestion that if there is no other time that you remain unbudging. Link to comment
hoppy27 Posted July 21, 2006 Author Share Posted July 21, 2006 i did go for the kiss and i got it...............the dating game is weird to me. like i said this is really is my first time dating. ive never had to do it.i was a girl up until i was 26. ive been out the game for awhile so im very rusty. Link to comment
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 i was a girl up until i was 26. I bet you didn't mean to say that Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 I was thinking the same thing. LOL! Link to comment
hoppy27 Posted July 22, 2006 Author Share Posted July 22, 2006 woops..........you know what i mean. maybe i should clarify............i have been in relationships with girls until i was 26. Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 i did go for the kiss and i got it...............the dating game is weird to me. like i said this is really is my first time dating. ive never had to do it.i was a girl up until i was 26. ive been out the game for awhile so im very rusty. HEY!!! Great! Congrats dude. You're a total stud! Rusty is OK. Just get out the oil can and lube up real well, you'll be as slick as your old (female) self in no time! (just kidding about the former female-self thing - just making fun of your typo) Link to comment
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 you'll be as slick as your old (female) self in no time heee heeee......... Link to comment
EvaGina Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 hmmmm Yeah, forget her... even if she is majorly busy or somthing at the moment, she knows you have called (your number isnt blocked or comes up as private, does it? she might be avoiding calls for some reason... did you leave a msg?) and if she wants to talk to you, she will call. Remember, she has probably been dating other guys too, so maybe one moved in quicker than you and she just doesnt know what to tell you...? Link to comment
hoppy27 Posted July 22, 2006 Author Share Posted July 22, 2006 i left two messeages. i wont call a 3rd time. two "chances" and nothing. i call them "chances" because thats exactly how im going to look at this. im a good guy. i consider myself a gentleman and a ask for respect as much as i give it. at just 22 years old she is still in that "want to have fun all the time mode". im 29. i need some "foundation" in a relationship. seriously i want to be a dad someday and all these young girls want to do is party all the time. guess i was to boring for her? i like to have fun and go out and stuff...........but my priorities come first. like work, home, bills, etc. bottom line is she wasnt ready or didnt want what i was offering. ohwell!! Link to comment
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 Maybe you should start looking at girls your age or older. There's a lot of them that are very cute. Whereas with the 22 year olds they may change quite a lot, and not for the better, within just a few years. Link to comment
hoppy27 Posted July 23, 2006 Author Share Posted July 23, 2006 im not the "aggresive" type. i usually take what comes along. meaning..... my last couple dates have been setups fom friends. beleieve me i would love a woman more my age whom is also looking to "settle" down. im old fationed i suppose...........all i really want at this age is to settle down with someone and so the family thing. isnt that what we are all supposed to do? i love kids, i love the idea of being a father, i want a wife to spend the rest of my life with. call me a millionare if i had those three things. dating stinks. if you asked me 10 years ago..........i would have told you id be married and have a kid or two by now. Link to comment
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