Email then Text from Ex

[jeffreyt]

Well it's been since the first week of June when we broke up and she started going out with some guy right after our breakup(yeah the old rebound guy haha) and last week I get this email from my ex stating this(see below)

 

email

I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable seeing you. I don't know what it is. I wish I didn't feel that way

but I don't know how to change it. Maybe it was cause all the drama we had.

I feel bad but don't know what to do about it. Don't take offense to it

please it is me not you.

 

I never responded to this email but I did run into a few times after this email at spinning and I just said hello but even though she said hello back she couldn't even look at me and I was riding right next to this girl I've talking to alittle and of course she noticed that oh well I'm moving on with my life. Then this morning I go to the gym to go spinning and notice her car there to go spinning which she never goes spinning that early in morning and she knows I always go at that time so I decided to ride my bike outside instead and then a few hours later I get this text message from her which I don't plan on even responding or if I did wouldn't know what to say. This is all she said in her text.

 

text

"I am sorry for being so immature"

 

The amazing thing is I'm getting so much better everyday without her it's so crazy but if she texted me while we dated i would respond right back in seconds, now I doesn't even bother me that I haven't responded yet, I guess I'm healing. Would everyone agree not to even respond back that's my thought right now.

[saltwatergirl]

I would agree with not respoding. Or, you could go with a simple:

 

"I hadn't noticed. TTYL, Insert your name here"

 

might suffice.

 

Salt

[Bethany]

No, don't reply. You're doing good and healing all by yourself. Don't risk a dialogue starting up.

[AwdreeHpburn]

I agree. Don't reply. You're already feeling OK with not, just keep it up.

[jeffreyt]

Hey everyone I just got another text from her should I continue not to respond. What should I do with this text? This is getting interesting haha

 

text

"No response from my message earlier"

[Bethany]

Don't reply. Don't be available for her to come and please as she likes, she lost all right of that when she dumped you.

Only reply if she wants to talk about getting back together, until then treat it like she is just talking out loud, because thats what she is doing.

 

Actions speak louder than any text and she knows where you are if she wants you back. She will just keep on using you to make her own anxiety ease if you reply, thats not what you want.

 

As far as she knows, you've left your phone at home, you could be out with a pretty girl or just enjoying life. That's far better for you for her to think this way. If she can't handle it, it's her problem, not yours. You're doing just fine.

[saltwatergirl]

No, it's not getting interesting because you don't care! Remember!

 

Salt

[jeffreyt]

Bethany, I agree it's amazing how things change she couldn't even look at me the past week when she saw me because she said she feels so uncomfortable seeing me and expects me to just respond back to her like we're still dating yeah right let her sweat alittle plus what kind of response is she expecting? Maybe the rebound guy is out of the picture hahaha.

[Bethany]

I know, I agree and it's why you have to be stonger than you have ever been right now and don't reply. Maybe he is out of the picture, lets hope so.

 

Give it a couple of days before you reply, and when you do reply, don't talk about the rebound guy, don't talk about the relationship or be her friend as that opens the door to being friendzoned completely. Talk matter of factly, like you don't care anymore because she is not entitled to know your inner thoughts and feelings. She threw that right away when she dumped you.

 

You're doing real good. Keep up the good work and stay strong.

[heloladies21]

I used to be a fan of just ignore it in situations like these, but I prefer a direct approach now. You're probably strong enough for a conversation now so just text her back "What's there to respond to?"

 

If you just ignore her, you run the risk of her going psycho on you, causing problems with you and other girls, etc. That's just not fun when you're trying to get over someone.

 

If you find out that she's only trying to absolve her guilt at your expense, then you have every right to call her on it and rip her out.

[jeffreyt]

heloladies21, I was thinking the samething this is so not me to do this I was thinking sending something along those lines. But trust me I know her and she's not very good at expressing herself I think this is her way of saying she wants to talk.

[DN]

If you would consider taking her back then find out what she wants - but have no expectations and be ready to go back to NC unless she says she does want to talk about that.

 

If you don't want her back - just give her a polite brush off.

 

Make sure you know what you want.

[jeffreyt]

Well she texted me again just basically saying are you getting these messages so I decided to respond basically saying what do you want me to respond to and I left at that and I haven't heard back from her which is fine with me but I felt the need to say something or I might have got texted all night haha. I still can't figure out what her purpose of these text message were, but I guess it's not my place to try to figure it out just continue to move forward but ex's can try to drive you crazy haha.

[jeffreyt]

Another update she called me last night and we had nice conversation basically just small talk and she just tried to explain why she felt uncomfortable around me and how she wants to be able to talk to me cause I'm such a good person blah blah blah. Wow what a change so I see her this morning at workout spinning and needless to say she doesn't feel uncomfortable anymore it was she acted like when we were dating kinda strange you think? Well she asked if I was going to breakfast and she wanted to come but she thought she would be late for work. So she said call her later if I want to. Well she called me and wanted to stop over(she works right next door) and we talked for about 30 minutes and she asked me to go to lunch next week ummmmm. So I guess this should be an interesting weekend haha.

[heloladies21]

Well at this point you have to decide what you want. Do you want her back? Because if you do then this is the wrong route you're taking. All you're doing is making it easier for her to get over you and harder for yourself to get over her.

[Allie.]

hey jeff! long time no c bud. but anyway...don't reply to her. remember nc is the way to go. don't reply to anything she sends you or whatever...until she declares that she has feelings for you...and if she ever declares that...then reply cuz then you have a topic to discuss. Believe me, the whole "just friends" thing doesn't work. I mean, of course you can be friends but somewhere deep inside your heart, she won't be that "sweet, beautiful, loving" woman you new...somewhere...deep, yes deeper...much deeper....you'll always know that she was the woman that shattered your heart to pieces. how can you trust someone after they do that to you? friendship is a big no no and so is contact. remember...she's gone but so are you. there are so many better women out there. always remember...if you had a broken arm, you wouldn't try to arm wrestle...so don't do that to your hurt. don't chase after what hurts you. let yourself heal.

 

Always,

Allie.