Fresh Break UP

[Jweidner]

My GF of 2 1/2 yrs ended it for good last night. I am in alot of pain and my stomach is in knots. I have been strong thus far though and have not tried to contact her yet. It was a rocky road for us but I always expected us to be together. This is not fun at all.

[Beyondthesea]

Welcome to enotalone, I'm sorry to hear you are having such a tough time right now.

 

Care to offer some insight into the relationship and why/how it ended?

[coollady1957]

I can understand your difficulty and how your stomach must feel. I too was going to ask if you wanted to elaborate on the reason for the breakup?

[Jweidner]

Her parents dont approve of her being with me and they have a huge impact on her life and they help her financially. They think I am a good guy but just not right for her. Since we fought alot. I am not sure if this is the reason or if she met someone else but She says she doesnt have the energy anymore

[Jayar]

I know how you feel. Perfectly. BF of two and a half years ended it on Saturday. And I got no real tangible reason from him either. I am having to chalk it up to "not meant to be" right now and trying to get over him as quickly as possible. It's terrible pain. But we deserve better.

[Jweidner]

Yeah I am in alot of pain too. The worst part is I work with her. I have to be in the same building with her everyday. we do deserve better. But geeze I wouldnt wish these feelings on anyone.

[lioness726]

It is VERY tough. But in a month you'll feel much better. It's already been 5 weeks for me since my ex and I broke up. We were together for about three years. However this was our THIRD break up and I was the one to finally do it. I HAD to. Toward the end the relationship, it just started to KILL me. I wanted to be the one for him... But realized that there had been too much pain inflicted upon me, too many trust issues (he took away the trust and wasn't rebuilding it), and just other red flags.

 

Anyway, sometimes even though it's the hardest thing you may be going through... It's something that you just HAVE to go through.

 

In the end, it often times really IS the best. It helps you to grow and move forward.

 

Believe me, sometimes I still feel that loneliness and the sadness. But it's not killing me or even keeping me down soo much that I can't function. And it usually only creeps up on me when I'm alone.

 

Just keep busy! My lifestyle right now may not be the healthiest (ie. going out every night practically). But it's really been helping me to make new friends, get my mind off him and the relationship, and it's even boosting my self esteem. Eventually I will slow down to a more normal pace of life but I will do that when I'm ready.

 

Anyway, this site REALLY helps. Keep posting! We're all here for you!

[Jweidner]

thank you for the reply. I hope one day I can look back on this and not hurt.

[lioness726]

thank you for the reply. I hope one day I can look back on this and not hurt.

 

Oh believe me, you will. I know you hear that and everyone says it... but you will. Humans are THE most adaptable creatures. It will take a lot. But you'll get there eventually. We all do and we all will.

 

Eventually it will come to a point where you still think about that person but you don't feel pain. You may not feel anything.

[Jweidner]

I tried The NC but I only made it a day. Last night I called her and she didnt answer. Today she called me and even talked to me on instant messenger. I know it shoved some false hope into my brain. Am I damaging my healing by talking to her? I keep wondering what she is thinking.

[NJRon]

Yes, you are going to slow down your healing tremendously by talking to her.

[Jweidner]

It is so hard. I keep thinking maybe she still may want to work things out.

[JohnnyTable]

Stop talking to her. Trust me I know, it will slow you down. It does not help.

 

If she wants to work things out then she should pound your door down to get it. Otherwise move on. Block her on messenger for sure.

[Past2Future]

Take it from me that if you want to get over her your going to have to stop all contact with her. I did the same thing as you over 6 months ago, i stayed by her side professing my love all of that even while she had a new guy on the side. I didnt make any progress at all. now 6 months later she was suppose to rekindle things. We had a fight one night, and that gave her an excuse to start dating a guy she had been talking to online. Im back at square 1 with pretty extreme depression, but not nearly as bad as the first go around. There is no way around it, you have to stop talking to her no matter how hard that is. They will you keep you around most likely just to have someone there for them. When she thinks you are moving on, she is going to get insecurities and start contacting you. Hold strong. Its for the best that it happened now then later. Move on, get over her, and love again.

[JohnnyTable]

When she thinks you are moving on, she is going to get insecurities and start contacting you. Hold strong. Its for the best that it happened now then later. Move on, get over her, and love again.

 

This is the truth. You must be extra strong during this phase and don't fall for their contact as them wanting you back. They are just being weak without you.