Am I dealing with a Psycho here? I'm scared!

[jcap01]

Hey everybody,

 

I was on these message boards a few months ago to talk about a girl that I really loved and wanted to get back together with.

 

To make a long story short...I was engaged to this girl (we did long distance), we broke up in February of this year, she kept in contact with me telling me she still loved me etc but couldn't be with me etc because he wanted to take care of her health issues first (she was sick at the time - had to get multiple operations). For three months this went on and I finally found out she was actually with another man but at the same time sending me love letters, sexy pictures of herself etc. When I found out about this, I was very upset but at the same time happy that she had found a person that she really liked. I told her I loved her, wished the best for her etc and started NC.

 

I was in Vegas about two months ago and that's when I received a text message from her basically asking how I was doing and she hoped I was doing well. I replied back and told her I was in Vegas with some friends having a nice time chilling by the pool and that I just needed to get away for a little bit. I also told her that love is not bitter and I was very happy to hear that she found the man of her dreams and that I will always wish her well. I told her best of luck and said good-bye. She then called me 5 min later but that's when I started NC and I did not pick up. I've been doing NC since that time. During that time I had received a few text messages from her...the first one just said that she was very sorry about everything, she never meant to hurt a nice man like me, she was very grateful to have had me in her life. Basically nothing but nice things to say. I still stuck to NC. The next day I got a phone call and she left a message basically saying the same sort of nice things but told me that she would like to talk to me before heading out for her holidays in two weeks. I still stuck to NC. A few weeks later I received another text message that said she was going in for an emergency operation. I still did not reply and stuck to NC.

 

It's now been about a month and a little bit and on Tuesday, I received 4 phone calls early in the morning (about 4:30 AM) and she left two voicemail messages. These messages were insane and I couldn't believe it. She trash talked me so bad I didn't even know who this woman was. In her voicemail messages she also mentioned to me that she can't believe how pathetic I am for trying to break up her husband and her and that I should stop emailing him because if I don't she is going to call the police and charge me for harassment???? What is going on here????? She also said she never did care about me, I'm a loser, I have nothing going for me, i'm ugly, i have no money (although i have a great career and make excellent money). She also said that she cheated on me the whole time she was with me but because i'm a waste of life and because i'm pathetic, I didn't know and that it was stupid of me to stick around. She does not have my email addresses but still had one of my friend's emails and wrote a similar email the same day for him to forward on to me. Well, If i was emailing her husband, don't you think she would have my email to directly contact me through email???!!!!

 

I'm getting a little affraid of this situation. What is going on here? Is this woman bitter that I dropped off the face of the earth? Is she totally upset I have moved on? What does she want with me? Why is she saying all these mean things to me when not once I have every treated her in a wrong way. I have always been a sweetheart.

 

Am I going to hear from this woman again? Does she want me to call her, get a rise out of me? I'm still going to stick to NC no matter what. I'm not giving in.

[RayKay]

So...she got married then to someone else?

 

She is nuts is what she is! She is evidently blaming you for something someone else is doing (or just making things up). Stick with NC, save all those voice mails and emails just in case. If she continues, you may want to get a restraining order.

[jcap01]

I guess she got married..lol, but I don't think it is true. Only a month ago she still wasn't married and she sent a message saying she was going in for an emergeny operation. This woman is all over the place.

[RayKay]

Ah, yes, my guess then she is "psycho" and is trying to get your attention.

 

She's scary, stay away from her!

[Roxari]

I am thinking that she got caught doing something and is trying to place the blame on you. Which makes her a little off.

 

Was she drunk when she left the messages? Who knows. I say stick to the NC thing.

[settinuplife]

She's mad cause you have been ignoring her. She has lost control over you and doesn't like it and doesn't know how to handle it so she comes accross as crazy.

[Süsser Tod]

Maybe she got married and her now husband found the messages she had sent you and the phonecalls, and made her leave you those vms?

[jcap01]

No she was not drunk when she left the messages. She does not drink. Other things I should mention is that she also said things like I am stupid for thinking a girl like her would spend the rest of her life with a man like me and that she is living a beautiful life in Europe right now and there is no way I can ever compare to her husband. Just terrible stuff like that.

[Beyondthesea]

Wow yeah she's out of it.

 

To be honest, I would contact the police and get a restraining order. Unfortunately men get blamed in these situations more than women. They are more likely to believe her if she phones to issue a complaint if if you haven't nipped it in the bud.

[jcap01]

Maybe somebody made up a fake email address with my first and last name on it. But I doubt it. What are the chances.

[CluelessGuy321]

Save the voicemails and e-mail and seek legal advice. This sounds unpredictable. Need to be prepared if she does other crazy things.....like blame u if she gets pregnant or something weird.

[HangingInThere]

i actually think she was forced to make that phonecall. hear me out, maube her 'husband' found out that she was contactng you and he basically said to her that she needs to call you or else!

 

i was in a situation like that long ago, my ex forced me to call someone that i really liked as a friend but he thought more was going on...so he made me call this person and say all these things to him (that i am really in love now andhe is being a nuisance, i never likd him and leave us alone forever) really a lot of mean things....later however, i called my friend back and profusely apologized and he accepted and he knew i was in a horrible situation...til this day we are the best of friends!

 

so all im saying maybe someone put her up to doing that because of his own insecurities!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

or maybe, she is TRULY NUTS!!!!!!!!!

[Bethany]

I don't think she was forced. I think she couldn't handle you ignoring her especially as she 'said' she was going for an emergency operation and you still ignored her. Makes me dubious about that op at all and wonder if it was for attention. She probably then dwelled on you ignoring her, got resentful and angry and completely lost it!

 

If I were you, I would do as the others say and thats keep all voicemails, emails etc just in case she gets worse. I would also expect another mail and soon, probably one apologising for her behaviour and expecting you to forgive her. Be prepared and stay NC.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

What was your objective in "doing NC"? Did you mean to make her go away? Or come back? It would have been more to the point to just say you're not interested anymore. It sounds like a headgame to me. I think you both should stay away from eachother, and if you want nothing to do with her you need to be very direct.

[jcap01]

My objective of doing NC was to move on. I told her at one point that it wasn't right for us to talk anymore and that I wanted to heal and live my life. I said I couldn't talk to her because I loved her and it was too hard to talk to her and hear about her and her new man. She understood at the time, but told me that she was going to miss me so much. I told her though that's the way it is, and that's the decision she made. Maybe she thought she could handle it but now realizes that she can't.

[CluelessGuy321]

Women are like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you bite into nutty ones.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Keep being direct about the fact there's no chance of a future with her and it's over. Let her know you don't want to continue being in contact with her. When it's over it's over.

[HangingInThere]

maybe the woman needs closure....why can't you just have a convo with her, telling her that you have moved on and and right now you cannot do the friends thing.....well you dont have to say it like that, but you get the idea.

 

you are actually playing games with also!

[jcap01]

Playing games?? I don't think so...she got engaged, got married apparantley. I stay away from women that are involved. She has no reason to talk to me. We ended things, told her i didn't want to be friends with her because it would always be too difficult because she was the woman I wanted to marry and I adored her and I wanted to move on with my life. How is that playing games? I think it would be a bad idea if I contacted her. She could use that against me somehow. What does everybody else think! I think this woman is disturbed!! I don't want to talk to her anymore. She lied to me and she does not deserve to be friends with me. And HangingInThere...you're forgetting that she has threatened me for no reason. It looks like NC does work...for me I moved on..for her it looks like maybe she can't handle it and it kills her inside that I don't want anything to do with her so she's making up crazy things. I don't know.

[RayKay]

I don't think you were/are playing games at all. You told her you wanted to cut contact, to move on. When you break up, you break up...you did not owe it to her to be her friend (especially not if she was cheating apparently!).

 

I really would not contact her at all or respond, just save/record everything in case you need it and if she continues get a restraining order.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I think it's a little gamey. He could be more direct. Friendship isn't going to work, no point pretending.

[jcap01]

iamteddybearfeelmecuddle I was direct 2 months ago. Told her I didn't want to be friends because it was too difficult and she understood. I told her friendship couldn't work...i'm not pretending. It would be crazy for me to respond to these messages. Especially when she said at the end of one of the messages that if I respond, she swears to God to that she will call the police. Call the police about what LOL...she hasn't heard from me in like 2 months!!! This girl is so mad!!!

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

When you responded from the pool, though...Could have been more direct and less friendly....

[jcap01]

Ah, yes, I see what you're saying. Maybe she got the idea that I was still going to keep in contact with her. I didn't mean for it to sound like this. That was a mistake. I did tell her best of luck with everything though which implies I'm not going to talk to her anymore. Damn...but being the person I am, I always am friendly even to people that are ignorant...that's just the way I am. She should get the point if i don't respond though yes? She has to understand that I'm sad and that I can't talk to her because I want to move on!! I've told her this.

[HangingInThere]

ok i am sorry for saying you were playing games!

 

why not change your tele #? but that amay just lure the crazy woman to your home!

 

i don't know - perhaps put a call into her husband if all else fails! give him the heads up on what is going on!.

 

yeah she seems a bit looney tune, stay far...very far!