living as a very un attractive woman

[Wendyjo]

What an exhausting thread!

Christy, besides your father telling you that you weren't an attractive female, what allows you to think you are unattractive?

 

Please don't use the explanation that people stare at you when you're out in public. I "stare" at people, and am starred at when out in public. I look at people because they cross my vision. People look at me because I cross their vision. But that doesn't mean I'm attractive or ugly. It means that people have eyes. It's that simple; people have eyes.

 

Chances are you're an average looking woman. Most of us females are --- average. It's a shame that your father verbally abused you by making fun of your looks. But you don't have to own his problem. That is his problem, not your's.

 

So, you wanna feel better about yourself. You want to feel pretty. Then do things that make you feel pretty.

 

Give yourself a manicure, paint your nails. Get your hair styled, and maybe change the color. Get yourself some new clothes. If money is an issue, shop at the nearest 2nd hand store. You'd be amazed at the nice clothing that a lot of folks just give away. Only wear enough make-up that allows you feel good about yourself. Start a daily excercise routine. Limit your calories to 1200/day. Don't weigh yourself more than once each week. Celebrate ALL weight loss by treating yourself to something that makes you feel pretty.

 

But that's not all...

 

Start NOT thinking about yourself as ugly; you aren't.

You are a master piece, in the works.

Smile when you see people looking at you.

Smile when you find yourself staring at others.

Give them and you a reason to feel good about life, about each other...smile.

 

 

Oh, and Christy? Should I be feeling low, I expect you to smile at me, friend.

[Caldus]

I got a degree in computers 4 years ago.

 

Man shooooot ... you can easily get a job in the computer field. Us computer people are in such a high demand these days.

 

I have to ask though ... since when does a kid say to his mommy "mommy, look how ugly!" I hope that that is not true.

[candykisses]

I doubt my face and skull could be reconstructed into anything that even resembles a human being. *cries*

 

*shrug*

you can't be that bad.

[KIDD]

Please don't let what one person say affect how you feel about yourself. Not to sound mean but it sounds like your father has/had serious issues & he made fun of you to make himself felt good. Realise that there are no ugly people & everyone is beautiful. I really don't like to use ugly, because it's such a harsh word.

 

If your feeling down, do somethings that make you feel good about yourself!!

[SFB]

No. I got a degree in computers 4 years ago. But I've learned that they only hire for LOOKS. Fat, ugly women don't get jobs. I'm also physically disabled and couldn't do anything but a desk job. And no I can't get on disability because I'm too poor to have anyone proove that anything's wrong.

 

 

You have a degree in computers and internet access -- with a little research, creativity and drive you don't NEED to find a job. You can generate income on your own. - ever thought about that?

[love4life]

Trust me when i say, they are staring. Not b ecause im pretty. I see the look of pity and on there faces, and i know your thinking shes just thinking this. I knew i was ugly in junior high school. I was called a dog, and was barked at, evan pushed and called ugly to my face. I AM NOW A 45 YR Old woman, when i go to store, familes stare at me with pity, i have seen that look, since i was 13 yrs old.

 

I understand the pain of the adolescent teasing - I went through hell in Jr. High and was called "ugly", too. It took a long time to get beyond my flaws, but I've found ways to either minimize them, remove them, or accentuate them (since I now, for example, LIKE my non-existent chest, lol!)

 

Start with going to therapy and addressing the issues with your father - this can't be good for any child to hear her own father call them "ugly".

 

If after some time in therapy, you're still not happy with you are then, as annie24 pointed out, maybe you will want to consider plastic surgery if it will help you make the first step towards accepting who you are. The only concern with that is to realize that you will have to cope with adjusting to a NEW appearance. I've heard this can be traumatic for some people, so just make sure you're aware of that.

[ilovepoemsalot]

I went through hell in Jr. High and was called "ugly", too.

 

Wha? Were they blind?!

 

Anyway, yeah, I've been called ugly by girls in the past. It does start to make you think you must be ugly, because you think why else would they say it?

 

I guess love4life has proved that when they say it it doesn't have to mean anything.

 

Anyway christy990, I don't know what you look like and I'm not sure if this has been mentioned in the topic, but is it possible you may have BDD?

 

I hope things get better for you because I know how it feels to feel ugly or to think you're ugly, it hurts a real lot. I really sympathise.

[love4life]

Wha? Were they blind?!

 

Anyway, yeah, I've been called ugly by girls in the past. It does start to make you think you must be ugly, because you think why else would they say it?

 

I guess love4life has proved that when they say it it doesn't have to mean anything.

 

Awww, thanks, poems!

 

I think going through that experience as a kid kind of makes you want to prove those people wrong in the end. I remember for the longest time I was so concerned with what other people thought of me. I'd say it was as recent as a couple years ago that I finally started thinking, "Who cares what people think of me? I like me, so that's what matters!"

 

I will say,though, I was one nerdy-looking, skinny kid (with a unibrow and tortoise-shell glasses, lol!) and I wasn't allowed to wear make-up or get contacts till high school. GAH, it was a nightmare!!! Wouldn't relive those years if you PAID me to!

[shes2smart]

Please note that this thread was started in July of 2006. The OP has not logged into this profile since then.

 

If you would like to discuss a similar topic, you would be better off to start a new thread.