admiralforever Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Yesterday I tried contacting my (of three years) girlfriend, sms and phone call and no answer. So I decided that I would stop by her house on the way back from the store to surprise her and see if she wanted to have lunch with me. I went to her place and no answer at her house or phones. So I tought she might have walked no the convenience store next to her house so I waited a couple of minutes, and nothing. So I started to worry because she had worked the night before and I did not even know if she made it home. I than drove to her dad's house to see if she was there, she wasn't. I told her dad what was going on. He tried calling her cell phone, she answered. Her dad told her that I was there and that I was looking for her. She sent me an SMS to go wait at her house. She said that I went to far that I went to go look for her at her dad's house. She was at the lake with her friends. I asked her why she did not answer her cell phone or at least text me. She said she just wanted some time off and that she was going to call me after she got back. She decided to end the relationship there. We where having problems about a month ago. She said that she wanted to take things slow. Did I do anything wrong? did I rush it by worrying about her? Right now I am extremely confused, she says she loves me and that she wants to get married and than she acts like this. Can anybody help me with some guidance? Link to comment
sumguy Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 I'd have been worried too, and probably would have reacted in exactly the same way. It sounds like she views this as the straw that broke the camels back (in reference to problems a few months ago)... She could have at least replied to your SMS... it doesn't take that much effort to text a reply... I'm at a loss, but I sympathise with you. Link to comment
onmyownagain Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Sounds to me like she was going to end it with you anyway and this was a handy excuse. If she didn't want to take calls she wouldn't have answered her dads call either. Link to comment
skyjuice Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Hi What kind of problem do both of you have? Is there any reason causing her to change her mind? Link to comment
admiralforever Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 She wanted me to stay in the country because of the job I have here, but my job requires me to move. We broke up about a month ago becuase she was not willing to leave, even though I was trying to get a job in country to stay. She didn't think that was good enough and wanted me to stay no matter if I have a job or not, even though the jobs are better in the States. Link to comment
skyjuice Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Hi Is your job able to support both of you? Are both of you married? Why do she want to stay in the country? Does she has family there? Link to comment
admiralforever Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 She has family here, my job can support us both, and we are not married we were engaged. we where together for three years. Link to comment
skyjuice Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Hi I think part of it is because she has family here, she wouldn't want to move. Is she a person who likes to travel or adventures? Would the nature of your job require to stay in many different countries for a few months or years and then move again? Link to comment
admiralforever Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 the nature of my job would keep me hear for as long as there is a job. Link to comment
skyjuice Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Hi She want to have some time off. It might be she doing some thinking on herself. So, the most important things is both of you have to understand your own self first. As in each of you list down the things you want in life this including where do you want to live, what condition of the job, and etc. Then coordinate your goals and dreams together. By this both of you will be happy knowing where both of you heading towards. Link to comment
admiralforever Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 well, we can't do that because she ended the relationship. She got mad said I went to far and that it was over. She hasn't called me or SMS me. She wants no contact with me. So know I am trying to move on, it is very hard because we where together for three years. Her reaction just broke my heart. Does anybody know how to cope with this the best way? Link to comment
admiralforever Posted July 5, 2006 Author Share Posted July 5, 2006 does anybody have any advice for me? Link to comment
skyjuice Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Hi Went far? As in you ignore her? The best way is to do no contact. Out of sight is out of mind. Keep all her things in a remote place. And fill up your schedule with lots of activities. For example, you could join a health club. Link to comment
admiralforever Posted July 5, 2006 Author Share Posted July 5, 2006 How long should I wait before I try looking for someone else? I don't want to jump right in to a new relationship and than she comes back to my life because I do still have feelings for her, but I also don't want to wait for ever. Link to comment
need2bme Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Only you can answer how long before looking for someone else. I would not reccomend anytime soon. You need to take time to heal. You asked for advice on hadling it and the advice is to wait. Don't look to others to make you feel better. Just wait. Link to comment
admiralforever Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 thanks for the advice guys Link to comment
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