When is it considered sex?

[countrygrl03]

I'm 21 years old and I've only been serious with two guys. The first one wasn't as serious. He was in bed with me and breifly put his penis in me but it was very uncomfortable and I pushed him away about two seconds later. That relationship ended. I've been with my current bf for over a year and we are very much in love. I would really like to say that he was my first. What I'm wondering is after my experience with the first guy would I be no longer a virgin even though I he was only in there for a couple of seconds. Please don't make fun of me I know its a really dumb question.

[yeawutever]

Technically you're not a virgin no more, even if it wasn't full penetration, but it still touch.

[DN]

You may get all sorts of different answers. Traditionally, virginity was lost once the hymen was broken during sex but many people consider that out of date.

 

My own viewpoint is that you are close enough to being a virgin for all intents and purposes.

[PRSOV]

Physically you lost your virginity to your first boyfriend...

 

Mentally you lost your virginity to your current boyfriend...

[Managor]

My personal opinion is that virginity is lost upon penetration (Like DN said when the Hymen is broken, though technically this often occurs before intercourse during sports or inserting tampons), but it's really so hard to say where the line is crossed, and I think almost every answer you get will be different. It should be your decision if you want to label yourself as one or not.

[yeawutever]

I think virginity is lost if you perform any type of sex (oral, anal, or vaginal). Anything you perform in real life that is to be sexually intimate means you're not a virgin no more.

[tmp0620]

If you ask me... you're a virgin until you have sex. You didn't have sex with your first boyfriend. I think most would agree. You almost lost your virginity though.

[agent1607307371]

You had intercourse with your first boyfriend, you first made love with your current boy?

 

Even though the first was technically you losing your virginity, it's the second that counts.

 

And having a penis in you for a couple of seconds is nowhere near sex.

(If, as I do, you think it should be messy and sweaty and fun with someone you like/love.)

[Momene]

When you're my age (51) it really doesn't matter who was your first or not. People don't expect to marry virgins these days.

[Entomon]

I'd say if you believe your second boyfriend is your first then that's all that matters.

 

In this day and age, even kids who are in their early teens are not even virgins themselves so virginity is really becoming obsolescent.

[yeawutever]

When you're my age (51) it really doesn't matter who was your first or not. People don't expect to marry virgins these days.

 

I woudl like the guy I get to marry someone day to be also a virgin. I'm talking to this guy online who I do like, says he likes me also after I say it to him. I guess we might meet one of these days, so anyways he's a virgin too.

 

 

 

[Momene]

I woudl like the guy I get to marry someone day to be also a virgin. I'm talking to this guy online who I do like, says he likes me also after I say it to him. I guess we might meet one of these days, so anyways he's a virgin too.

 

 

 

 

I hope it works out for you both but, in the majority of cases, if you insist on marrying a virgin, it restricts your choice of partners.

 

If I'd have used it as a prerequisite for finding a partner, I'd still be single.