In and Out Friend! HELP!

[hazeleyed]

Well my story is pretty straight forward I think, so here goes:

 

I have worked at a store for about a year where I met this guy and we became friends instantly. We had a lot in common and we often talked till the morning. Anyway he had a girlfriend so our friendship was just a friendship.

 

Anyway a few months down the road he stopped coming online and I didnt see him at work because I had moved to University. 2 months later I see him at the store working and the same night he adds me back online and explains why he disappeared. His reason was that his girlfriend didnt like him talking to any girls so he blocked all the girls from the list. Just the way he said it made me more angry because I felt that this was not a reasonable response. Afterall when you become friends with someone you do have some duty towards him/her. A simple email could have been fine with me that explained what happened.

 

Anyway I forgave him but I was a little worried so I stayed in check. A few months again and he disappeared. I figured this time he had blocked me and so I called him to see if everything was okay and to his response the phone was disconnected and the email I sent came back with an error. So this past Saturday me and him worked and he kept eyeing me and I just gave him a dirty look and walked away. I dont appreciate people like him who dont know the meaning of friendship. So he added me back and said the same thing. My girlfriend didnt know who you were and didnt want me talking to girls. So I deleted and blocked you and Iam really sorry. He continued saying that his girlfriend talked to me once and figured I was a pretty cool girl and told me to you back.

 

Now what are most of you reading this thinking by now? You know I was realllllly pist off and I am like you know I dont care what you do because obviously you have thought of me as nothing but a co-worker. I think I was stupid enough to think that he would be a friend. He then stated that he had priorities....i am like OKKKK so then stop coming back into my life it so simple? Hes like I am sorry I hurt your feelings. I am like you didnt...I was trying to be strong because I dont want him to know anything anymore. I think I want to keep him out of my life and dont want to waste anymore energy on something that he seems to have no power over. My friendship with him is based on his girlfriends approval. I dont want to have anymore expectations from him. He said he wants to try harder this time to make it up to me because I am a good person and he cares for me. However, if he cared for me then i dunno...

 

Any inputs? Suggestions? What do you guys think I should do?

 

Am I thinking right because I don't find his attitude classy. If i dont put a stop to this he can just come in and out whenever he pleases with an excuse of his girlfriend.

[Phoenix69]

I understand that he is your friend, and I also understand that you are pissed off. However, you've really do have to look at it from his perspective. He is trying to respect his girlfriends feelings. Perhaps try and speak to the girlfriend again, and let her know she has nothing to fear from you. Unless you actually have feelings for this guy. Which judging by your reactions to him coming in and out of your life, seems quite likely. Friends do come and go, thats life, but crushes tend to leave more of an imprint on us.

[hazeleyed]

Phoenix69: Thank you for your reply, but its nothing to do with a crush. I think if it was anyone coming in and going out as they please it would be a disaster and those kinda people are better at just being aqauintances then real friends. Maybe I have too high of standards but I think him coming back with an excuse of his girlfriend is unacceptable and I just find it high schoolish.

 

WHat happened to his own identity? Just because you are in a relationship you cant have friends from the opposite sex? I think its retarded.

[Phoenix69]

Point taken. Perhaps they have issues in their relationship that you don't know about. Perhaps he has been dodgy with other girls? How long have you known this guy for? Unfortunately not all relationships are perfect. I know from myself that my BF gets very jealous if I have stuff to do with guys. It is only after he meets them and realises he has nothing to fear, that he is more accepting. I know this is not right in some cases, but in ours, (We have had some trust issues in the past) it is the way it has to be until the trust is earned back on both sides... Cut him a bit of slack. The fact that he is respecting his GFs wishes is some proof that he is not all bad...

[hazeleyed]

Phoenix69: I guess I am hard on people but I am being careful for myself too. I do not want to get hurt in the process because even friends like these leave pain behind. I just dont want to be bothered with caring for him yet he seems determined to make it up to me. I dunno...my mind is saying that something isnt right about this friendship. I agree trust could be an issue in the relationship that he has with his girl , however, where does all this lead too in end? If you are to take away all your friends from the opposite sex how do you work in an enviornment that has girls or guys there? It feels like you are walking on an egg shell....I dunno I guess I am talking from experience with my ex where I got isolated because I wasnt told directly but indirectly who it was okay to talk to and who it wasn't okay to talk too. So this type of stuff just triggers the stuff I dislike.