Arrowsmith Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Are there any circumstances under which you think it's OK (or even the right thing to do) to stay with a partner who has cheated? How about a habitually cheating partner? Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 There are no circumstances when it is ok. Life is too short to spend it on someone who is that disrespectful of our realtionship, my health and well being. My opinion is if you want to sleep with someone else, do the unselfish and right thing and break it off with your partner. Link to comment
RayKay Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Nope. As Iceman said, life is too short to spend it on someone whom disrespected me and put me at risk. It does not matter to me the reasons, there is ALWAYS an alternative to cheating. They chose the cheating option. I know for some people, there are reasons to excuse it, just not for me. It takes a lot of work, and I know personally I could NOT trust again which would just make an unhealthy relationship even unhealthier. It would destroy me, my confidence and is a choice I would have to veto. And yes, I HAVE been cheated on, and remember very well my father cheating on my mother (they divorced) so do have close experience to it. Link to comment
novaseeker Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Are there any circumstances under which you think it's OK (or even the right thing to do) to stay with a partner who has cheated? How about a habitually cheating partner? Two different issues. Question One: Issue is whether it was a one-off, and, if so, whether you can rebuild trust. Not everyone can. Not every person is worth the work. But answering the question depends on the person and circumstances very heavily. Question Two: No. In my opinion, habitual cheaters do not stop cheating. It's a self-control issue. Staying with someone like that is self-destructive and borders on co-dependent. Link to comment
jna35 Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 My husband cheated on me and I chose to stay and work things out. I'm not excusing what he did as cheating is never acceptable, but I have long forgiven him and we've been married now for 17 years. It took a long time and a lot of hard work to rebuild the trust though and not everyone is able to or wants to. As for a habitual cheater...NO WAY!! And he knows that if he EVER did it again, he'd be out the door before it even opened! Link to comment
thegirl_00 Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 I agree that there is no point in staying with a cheating partner, but I do think that over a long period (years) of time if they prove to you that they can be loyal then there could be room for a second chance. Link to comment
phillygal Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 No, i don't think it's ok. My ex cheated on me and i forgave him and tried to get over it, but the trust was gone between us. I always questioned whether he was lying when he said he was going somewhere or who he would be with. He in turn didn't trust me because he thought i would cheat on him to get back at him for what he did. Basically, it became a very unhealthy relationship, we would fight and argue all the time. Where i once trusted him unconditionally, now was replaced by suspicion, anger and sadness. Trust me it's not worth putting yourself through that. Link to comment
wayne Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 To know whether to stay or go, you have to ask yourself one simple question: Would you be happy with this person if you knew for a fact that she'll keep doing that? (Where "that" is whatever you have discovered that she has done) Because, chances are, she will keep doing that. So assume that she will, and then decide whether you want to stay. No one can answer that question for you. But answer it you must, or you will make the wrong decision and make yourself miserable. Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Arrow...did you start this thread for me? hehe Link to comment
Arrowsmith Posted June 27, 2006 Author Share Posted June 27, 2006 Arrow...did you start this thread for me? hehe Actually, it was your situation that made me want to ask this question. Link to comment
cinderelly65 Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 funny i just posted about the same thing. i don't know if my bf cheated for sure but i saw him naked with her. no matter how hard i try i cannot get that visual out of my head. i wake up in the middle of the night saying "why did this happen to me" i can't imagine how i would feel is i actually say him cheating. Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 how ironic...thats quite sweet I do again thank you for your opinion and help! Link to comment
Oldboy Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Cheats are liars. Liars are cheats. If you bring a cheat back into your life how can they regret it? They've had their fling and they enjoyed it and now that things are back to normal again... no regrets. If you don't bring them back they will regret and then ask forgivness because they are sorry. But how can you believe they are sorry when they are liars? A good cheat will convince you that they are sorry. It's up to you to see through the lies. It's up to you to give them another chance. Habitual cheats... life's too short. Find somebody with more respect for themselves and you. Link to comment
novaseeker Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 What do you guys think of married women who date/are with other women without their husbands knowing? And they have no intentions of leaving the marriage, and they say they are "happily married"? Would you call that cheating even tho it was with a woman? Of course it is. The gender of the cheatee is not relevant. What if they do it two, three or four times or more (trying to have "relationships" with other women)? Only difference from scenario one is that this is "serial cheating". Do you think the husbands "know"? Well, if the husband knows and approves and they have an open relationship like that, then it isn't cheating because it's within the boundaries that the couple have agreed and discussed. Link to comment
Phoenix69 Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 I think its OK, but its only OK if your partner is willing to prove that he is sorry and willing to put in the effort it requires to rebuild trust. I am one of those people who took back my BF after he cheated on me two weeks into our relationship. He wanted to prove to me that it was a drunken mistake and two years later we are still together and he has not put a foot wrong in that respect ever since. (We have broken up and gotten back together, but that is an entirely different story all together Link to comment
doyathink Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 How about a habitually cheating partner These kind of people lack respect for other people's feeling. They are selfish and only think of themselves! Who wants to be a doormat? To be used over and over again? Link to comment
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