My ex says she's in love w/me, then starts talking about another guy.

[settinuplife]

My ex is just broke up with her boyfriend cause she is not in love w/him anymore, but still loves him. 3 mos. ago they both moved out of town to his parents house for awhile and are still there.

 

My ex has told me a couple times when they were together that she was still in love w/me.

 

She was in town last weekand and stopped by, hugged me, told me she missed me, and wanted to get back together as soon as she saved up some money to come back from her town.

 

I am skeptical, always have been cause she's messed with my heart alot, especially when she was with her now ex boyfriend. She has always been back and forth between us, but she claims and has several times she's not in love with him anymore, but in love with me. I should mention that we have remained on again off again friends so she vents to me alot.

 

Well she called me tonight to say her ex boyfriend was throwing a fit cause she was supposed to pick him up from work and was late and that he assumed she was messing around with a guy that she works with named Kurt.

 

She then started talking to me about him. She told me that her and Kurt have alot in common, like the same kind of music, and he's cute, but he's only 18, etc.

 

I just don't know what to think about this. I am 9 years older than Kurt and have a good job, am attractive and could give her everything, and she knows it.

 

What should I do? I am waiting for her to move back to my city so we can start our life together, but she says she needs to save some money first. Do you think she likes him? You think if she did she wouldn't say anything to me.

 

What should I do or how should I act if she does fall for this guy?

[canuckhead]

lol didn't u already put up another thread about this?

anyways...since she's already going back and forth between u two...it obviously means shes confused. she likes u...but not enough to really dump the other guy for u. basically shes using u as a backup in case things with her bf goes down the crapper. trust me....they may have broken up, but shes still thinking about him too. she says all these things about wanting to be with u....but its all talk, no action. she'll come back to u for a few days...then go back to her (ex)bf. its just gonna keep being a back and forth cycle with....heck u even said she's done that many times in the past. i suggest u really give her an ultimatum. u or him...and if she doesn't show any action....don't ever talk to her again, and actually follow thru. next time she tries to phone u...don't answer, say ur busy and hang up...whatever. keep her outta ur life. but if she chooses u...shes gotta show it. and if she does....good for u i guess (if thats the kinda girl u like)...

[settinuplife]

But what about this other guy Kurt?

[Fivek]

But what about this other guy Kurt?

 

He's gonna hear the same crap you're hearing now from your ex once she comes back to you.

 

never settle.

[canuckhead]

buddy...shes obviously confused about everything. either that or like i said, shes just keeping u around in case she doesn't find anyone better. her previous bf didn't work out, so then she went back to u. now theres kurt...and shes seeing if he'll turn out better...while keeping u on the side....waiting. now do u really want to get urself involved in this triangle (or is it a square now)? u said ur attractive, have a good career, a guy with lots to give....now give it a girl that actually wants it.

[itsallgrand]

I agree with Canuckhead.

 

This is about you and her. The other men are irrelevent. So what's the situation?

*she is with her bf (or ex) in another town....not with you

*she talks to you about liking and loving other men to you...and at the same time is telling you she is in love with you

*she has a history of breaking your heart and showing certain patterns of behavior that are not good for a serious relationship

*she is mean to people she is with: telling you she was in love with you while with another man! how cruel is that?! very.

 

*you have a good job, are attractive, and feel you could give a woman everything

*you are waiting for your ex. to make the call of whether she will be with you or not by arranging your life/putting it on hold for her

*you believe she loves you? is in love with you? has changed or will change?

*you still love her and want to be with her?

 

Why does this girl have such a tight hold on you?

[Spawn]

hmm look at your post once again, I will quote some of it.

 

I am skeptical, always have been cause she's messed with my heart alot, especially when she was with her now ex boyfriend.

 

She has always been back and forth between us, but she claims and has several times she's not in love with him anymore, but in love with me.

 

I should mention that we have remained on again off again friends so she vents to me alot.

 

She then started talking to me about him.

 

When things get little bumpy she breaks off with you and then comes back, a relationship should be stable not like you can just leave whenever you feel like and come back at your own free will. She is very immature in her actions

 

What should I do? I am waiting for her to move back to my city so we can start our life together, but she says she needs to save some money first.

 

Seriously you really thinking of having a life with her after seeing so much of disturbing signs, hasn't she messed enough with your life or do you want to take more of it.

 

have a good job, am attractive and could give her everything, and she knows it.

 

settingup, you sound like a good person, think about it don't let your heart take over your mind. Take a mature decision and reserve that for someone who really cares about you and respects you.

 

Good luck.

[saltwatergirl]

Another case of paralysis by analysis........

 

There is nothing to think of here. She is not the one, she has used you before and likely is going to do it again, and your answer lies in past behavior.

 

How many chances does she get to use you for immediate need? 8? 10? 20?

 

Say goodbye, shut the door, hang up the phone. Problem solved.

 

Salt

[Cute Band Rat]

Settinup You have posted about this girl on numerous threads over the last year and the situation is ALWAYS the same. What aren't you getting here?

Nothing has changed.

 

My advice is to do EXACTLY what you're going to do anyway. take this girl abck. Let her use you, and leave you again. Post here a few times, AGAIN, and then maybe eventually you'll get pissed off enough to actually follow the advice given.