Ahh what did I do!!

[tbone22]

Well I did it again... last week me and the ex had sex and this week I did it again... and he's seeing someone else on the side. We've only been broken up for like a month now and I feel like crap again. The first time I was okay with having a "good time" but now I just feel confused, I dont really know how I feel at this point! I still love the guy and I am pretty pissed at the fact that hes with some other chick. And I feel that if I date someone else I'll feel guilty or something! I dont understand why my ex doesnt feel guilty that hes seeing someone else so soon after the break up. Maybe I just want him more because hes with someone else?

[Daddy Bear]

this situation isn't fair to you. he is allowing you to remain emotionally attached to him while he gets validation both from you and from someone else. you should not have to feel guilty if you find yourself wanting to be with a new guy.

[Cadence308]

I agree that this situation is not fair to you. You are feeling bad about it because you are a woman and sex is more emotional for a woman, esp. if you have been in a relationship with the person. You need to decide what you want and then implement it! It seems like there's one of two choices that need to be made here: either no contact and no sex or get back together.

[bimbo]

I am going through the same thing. I have slept with my ex several times since he ended the relationship. I usually feel down or angry afterwards because he still does not want me back. What makes it worse is that he was SO nice to me throughout the realtionship and even after he ended the realtionship he still seemed very nice towards me and considerate towards my feelings. But he has changed - he doesn't care that I am upset he is only interested in sex and he is not afraid to be upfront - he is like a different person.

I am still sleeping with my ex, but I would advise you STAY AWAY from yours if you have the will power to do so.

[Belle]

Bimbo,

 

Your ex was nice to you when he wanted to keep you. Now that he doesn't care, his true character is showing. The test of integrity is when someone treats you with respect regardless of whether they can be hurt by you or can gain something from you. He can do without you so he doesn't mind being less of a gentleman. Both you and the op are going to lose some self esteem in the process.

 

My ex said a couple of things at the end that I found out of character for someone who was kissing my butt to get me back. I quote "It is what it is" and "It's a fact, I'm leaving". Instead of throwing my legs around his waist and saying "disrespect me some more" I told him to have a good life and I'm not putting up with your crap anymore.

 

I can tell you, the short lived comfort of sex does not compare to the self respect I have that I told him I'm out after he tried to tell me what was going on. I wish you two could experience it. It feels really really good. What feels even better is the total shock on his face and him finally admitting after said cockiness that he f'd up.

[designer71]

I am in the same boat...am having sex with the ex while he is in "love" with someone else just hoping like a loser that he will suddenly decide that he wants me instead of her. He was supposed to come over tonight but he is home talking to her on the phone. I am beside myself - I feel addicted to him. Like, I will take any scrap of anything he will throw my way or something. What the hell is wrong with me? He says stuff like there is a chance for us again in the future and that's what keeps me hanging on. Most days I am just sorry I ever met him.

[shelly7]

Designer, I know it's hard but you have to cut him loose for your own sanity. He isn't being fair to you. I'm doing nc but maybe you should think about starting with limited contact, and absolutely no hooking up with him. You deserve more than he's giving you. You're not a "loser" you're just going through a rough time and it's perfectly normal to feel hurt and betrayed. It's not going to be easy but you have to take care of yourself. If he says there is a chance in the future (like my ex) don't believe him, that is just his way of keeping you around. And if it's an authentic statement you have to cut all contact with him so that he can miss you. Stay strong! You're an intelligent woman who deserves better! You can do this!

[designer71]

thank u so much shelly - I know i have to cut him out, but it is so hard! When he calls me today, I am going to tell him that he needs to leave me alone and stop hurting me until he figures out what it is he is doing with her. It is not fair to me at all.

 

God, I can't stand this!

[fishrrshortae]

Wow this sounds like an awful experience to have ... Honestly a guy who leaves and uses you for sex is basically using you. When he doesn't want to bother with you any more, he'll probably stop talking to you altogether. It's not worth it. There's no future in it and it only delays the healing process, as well as the ability to find someone who IS worth it.