Thank god he was deaf to my words while they were LOUD AND CLEAR TO ME...

[esboogie143]

Last night I almost wanted to die!!! My guy which I'm dating and I were having sex and as I was enjoying every single second I accidentally whispered "I love you"!!!! I WANTED TO DIE!!! I immediately switched it up and change it to "I Love when you……." Whatever I said but the good thing was he didn't catch what I said!!! OMG!!!! Imagine if he would've heard???? Why the hell would I say those words? Do u think its b/c of how I truly feel twds him? I don't know but that has never happened to me b4 w/someone that's not my boyfriend!!

[monkey1]

Um, he's not your boyfriend?

[coollady1957]

Ok so you are dating you first said, but then said something about " not boyfriend" .. so I take it your are dating but not exclusive maybe??? You kind of lost me there.

 

How long have you known him and how long have you been dating? Maybe you just said the I LOVE YOU, in the heat of the moment.

[DropToZero]

I couldn't tell you if that's how you really feel about him or not...that's something you'd have to figure out. Just thought I'd share, one time...in a very intimate moment with a girl I was with(just making out for a long time...but I was somewhat drunk), I caught myself almost saying the same words... I got out like the "I lo- " and stopped myself...I don't think she heard, even though it was right in her ear. I'm pretty sure I don't feel that way about her, but...god like you, I would have wanted to die had I actually said it. I think it was just a thing where I got caught up in the moment.

[Daddy Bear]

i don't know why you said it, but this reminds me of something that happened to me:

 

even though as a teen the phrase meant little to me, i was so used to telling my first wife "i love you" several times a day that i once accidentally said it instead of "good night" to a GAY drinking buddy who had a CRUSH ON ME.

 

as i froze in disbelief over my enormous faux pas, my friend smiled sheepishly, looked down at the floor and said, "i love you too."

 

"oh no," i stammered hastily. "that just slipped out."

 

he smiled again. "yeah, right."

[esboogie143]

No he is not my boyfriend but when together we treat one another as if we are b/f and g/f....we are exclusive. We are solely intimate with one another and noone else....Yea I know im confused about this whole thing as well....I do already have deeeep feeling for him but what pulls me back is that he doesnt want a relationship ....uggggghhhh!!! I hate this dating thing!!! I dont want to keep on bringing up the whole "committment" thing b/c I dont want to push him away....hes great BUT I dont know what going to happen nor what im going to do b/c I want a committment with him

[Beyondthesea]

but what pulls me back is that he doesnt want a relationship

 

Sorry, this guy is only using you for the sex until someone he wants a relationship with comes along.

 

I'd cut the ties or else demand a commitment, then walk if he says no.

I've seen a lot of women in your situation, and the man isn't remorseful at all because they mean it when they say they don't want a commitment.

 

You are worth more than that. Walk.

[RayKay]

Agree with Beyond, 6 months is WAY more than enough time to know if you want to be committed in a relationship with someone.

 

The fact that he doesn't, shows me he already knows he doesn't.

 

You definitely should not be sleeping with him if you want a commitment and you don't have it.

[coollady1957]

After seeing a little more in your other post about your relationship, I am in agreement with BeyondTheSea and RayKay.

 

I think it would be time to move on if you are looking for commitment. He has made it clear that he does not.

[monkey1]

but what pulls me back is that he doesnt want a relationship

 

Sorry, this guy is only using you for the sex until someone he wants a relationship with comes along.

 

I'd cut the ties or else demand a commitment, then walk if he says no.

I've seen a lot of women in your situation, and the man isn't remorseful at all because they mean it when they say they don't want a commitment.

 

You are worth more than that. Walk.

 

Ditto, move on. The deeper you get in to developing feelins for him, the worse it's going to hurt for you. Nothing like sex to make things more complicated for you ... move on.

[Hope75]

Hey Esboogie,

 

I don't think it would be strange at all if after 6 months of being intimate with someone, you were developing those types of feelings for him. It seems a pretty natural progression to fall for someone who has been very like a boyfriend in many ways.

 

Like the other posters, I'm concerned for you because after 6 months he's not willing to make a formal commitment to you, despite the fact that you say you two are exclusive. Has he given you any reasons as to why?

 

You deserve a commitment if that is what you want- but you may have to stick to your guns and tell him this, at the risk of him walking away. Right now he has a pretty sweet deal, but if you aren't satisified with the level of commitment, (and after 6 months of "dating" with benefits, I don't think I'd be happy with just that....) than it isn't really fair to let him keep on sleeping with you without a commitment and development of feelings.

 

In the past I had a "friend with bennies" type guy whom I dated for several months before I met my present bf of 3+ years. When we first starting 'dating', we both agreed it would be casual and fun and nothing more- and we both wanted that- no commitments or strings attached.

 

At first I was happy with the arrangement, and really enjoyed the fun and casual companionship we shared, but as time passed I could feel myself starting to fall for him. I knew I wanted more if we were to continue, so I told him how I felt and asked what he wanted to do. He was a very nice guy, (we still talk as friends from time to time), but he just wasn't interested in a relationship at that time. Since he was honest with me from the start and I had wanted what he did and then my feelings changed, I respected that and told him I could not continue to see him/sleep with him any longer. He told me he would 'kick himself later' for letting such a great girl go (and he did, I met my bf only a month later and we've been together almost 4 years), but we went our separate ways. My bf now was thrilled to commit to me and we've been very happy since. I found that I could have it all, the great sex, and the commitment, respect, friendship and love too.

 

The moral is, don't be afraid to stand up for what you want- you deserve that.

[Budman]

No he is not my boyfriend but when together we treat one another as if we are b/f and g/f....we are exclusive. We are solely intimate with one another and noone else....Yea I know im confused about this whole thing as well....I do already have deeeep feeling for him but what pulls me back is that he doesnt want a relationship ....uggggghhhh!!! I hate this dating thing!!! I dont want to keep on bringing up the whole "committment" thing b/c I dont want to push him away....hes great BUT I dont know what going to happen nor what im going to do b/c I want a committment with him

 

The Irony.

 

Me and my gf had this issue before we got together. Literally, we would be like bf/gf, but she wouldn't commit (varied reasons), anyway, I was ready to walk (because of some issues like yours), and because she had feelings for me as well she didn't want me to go.

 

I've been getting the feelings to say it too, honestly I've been biting my tongue.