New here: Help me with this one....

[lolive18]

ok, first let me say this is a great message board. Kudos to the team who put this together and the people on this board. You all seem real nice and encouraging. Ok, now my story:

 

My best friend (female) got married a year ago. We've known each other since we were 14. We went to high school then college; however, I went to college in California (I still currently live here) and she stayed in GA. But I come home for the holidays and a couple of days in the summer and what have you when i have the time and money. Well I came home about 1 1/2 year ago (before the wedding) and saw her brother. I made the comment to both Nicoles (I have 2 best friends named Nicole ) that Robert ( the brother of my bestfriend that is getting married) is really handsome now and appears to be all grown up. Ok...point blank....I seemed to like the boy but he had a girlfriend at the time. I told him and both Nicoles that I'm not a home wrecker so as long as he had a girlfriend nothing would be happening there! Well...they broke up in April. Ok, so I went home for July 4th weekend and well - let's just say sparks flew! We cuddled and hung out and wrestled and just had a good time....No kissing, fondling or sex ensued. It was just nice - it felt like there was a good connection....of course we are attracted to each other, but we both admit that there is something else there. But at the same time...he did say to me that he wanted to be friends right now. The problem is - I feel like I'm in over my head! I've told him how I feel about him i.e. feelings, i like him a lot, timing sucks, i think about him all the time, blah blah blah and guess what...he said the same thing! I mean guys...I'm so comfortable with him and normally I have this big iron gate up against guys because I've been hurt and i like and love so hard. But we also admit that we are both scared and don't really know what to do - because these are new feelings and who ever thought it could possibly be Robert and Trina - I mean we've known of each other since we were 13 and 14 respectively ( we are 22 and 23 now - on opposite ends of the country). The kicker is that I'm going home for 2 weeks starting on the 5th and all i can think about is seeing him and spending time with him. My question is should i say anything more about how i feel?? I mean I want to tell him everything, but i don't - i purposely hold back... i also want to ask him how he's feeling about his ex-girlfriend (am I wrong to ask that question), I want to ask him am I wasting my time because my heart is flipping out over him but I want to know should i back off or do i have a chance of those feelings being returned because if they are then wow...ahhh what should i do. I know I'm going to end up talking to him about this, but i need some guidance on what to say or what to ask....

sorry so long but thanks in advance for the responses!

[gsduncan]

Hi,

 

In this situation, I think the best thing for you to do is tell him how you feel and ask him anything you need to. If he has feelings for you, he will listen to you and answer any questions you have. You have to be open with him and trust to tell him anything and ask him anything. If things get serious, communication is a big key in long, lasting realtionships. Hang in there and keep in mind that being open to one another is the best thing you both can do in these early stages.

[segagirl]

Hi there and welcome to eNotalone, and thanks for the compliments!

I say that if you are there for two weeks, give it at least a week before you spill anything. This gives the two of you a chance to settle in, and time for him to remember how much he likes you. I would not ask about the ex girlfriend...that does not really matter. If after spending some time with him you want to share how you fell..then go ahead...but the reality is...you live 3000 miles away! What do you expect him to do with this information? He may not express back, simply so he can protect himself, its not like you could date...

So just be cautious....and give it at least a week before the words are actually said. Good luck, just try and have fun!