Sooo Confused

[timber___27]

Ok, here's the thing.

I just came back from seeing my ex yesterday - she lives out of town. She is with a new guy for all of 4 weeks. She is going camping with him at local festival until at least monday. When I saw her, I basically told her that I wanted a second chance, we were together for over a year, and have a 5 year history together. I am deperate to call her and talk to her, but at the same time, I want her to come to me. I am going to have to play the space game. give her he space, let her have time to miss me. The good thing, is that I am forced to give her space right now, because she is not at home. But I am scared that when the weekend is over, I will be so tempted to call her that I will mess everything up. Right now, we are pretty good friends. We don't talk everyday, but I can tell that she is trying to be a friend, but she knows exactly how I feel about her. My feelins have not changed since we dated.

 

Any advice would be great...

[blonde]

Hi timber,

 

I think that your ex-girlfriend wants to be your friend, but maybe this is all you will get. Or has she somehow let you feel that you might have a chance although she is with another guy?

 

b.

[segagirl]

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about your spilt. So when you asked her to get back with her what did she say? Whatever she said is what needs to stear your actions.

You used some key words that you should remember when feeling that urge to call...you used the word desperate...which means its the "yucky" scared feelings that are making you want to call, not reason or good judgement. Let it simmer for awhile, she knows how you feel. Right now it sounds like she wants to do other things.

time to work on healing.

[timber___27]

When I saw her last, I didn't go there with the intention of asking her to take me back, I just wanted to see her again, and talk to her. Recently she told me that she is considering moving to the town where I live for a new job. I asked her, when she moves to town, if there was a chance that she would let me take her out and show her what kind of date I can be. You see, we never really dated. We had an internet friendship, that turned into a long distance relationship, then I moved to Vancouver, and she moved in with me. Then, about 1 year later, for various reasons, homesickness, inmaturity, family issues, she moved back to where she is from. not long after that, I moved back to where I am from. And that is where we still are. That was over a year ago now. I asked her if I did anything to or didn't do anything to cause her feelings to change, and she said no. So, I then asked her if she could even consider letting me back into her life, and she said that she couldn't even consider letting me in. But she still expects me be able to be a friend, let her tell me about her new bf, and wonder why I get upset when she does.

 

I still love her so much - how do i deal with this.

[blonde]

in that case, i must say she is really selfish! she wants someone she can talk to- fine, but not someone whose heart she is stomping on while doing it. don't let her use you. maybe it would be better if you don't meet. it is totally understandable that you feels sad when she talks about her new b/f.

good luck,

 

b.

[nexhial]

timber,

 

you and me should go have a smoke together, if i smoked!

They are confusing, i am hoping that space makes her miss you. And remember all the things you two had together. If it was love, i believe she will come back, because she cant give this new guy the part of her that is still in you.. it will make her miserable inside.

[Michael2]

Sorry to hear about your situation.

 

You have to listen to what I am about to tell you. DO NOT CALL HER. DO NOT.

 

I am in a similiar situation, but unfortunately it is a bit more complex.

 

I know how difficult it must be, you want to call her, you want to see her, you want to shoot the sh*t about the past and how much you guys are meant to be together. You just want to hear her voice, listen I understand I am the same way. But you can not act desperate you have to show her that you are an independent individual, and if she really wants to be with you then you have to stay cool. If she is worth it, she will come to you. I promise!