A question about guys (and maybe women too)

[Daddy Bear]

hmm, i guess i should add this: i don't see myself as some sort of cocky Sir Galahad or anyone's savior. indeed, i stumble all too frequently along my personal path. how can i, in good conscience, enlist the aid of others in my times of need unless i give freely and cheerfully of myself when my own assistance is required?

 

if you think about it, interdependence and independence are diametrically opposed concepts. to my mind, the latter is never wholly attainable except by the most isolated of hermits, regardless of what we WISH to believe about ourselves.

[Budman]

Honestly, I know that I tend to be one of those types. If the woman is more independent I will not fall for her quite the same as I would fall for a girl who is not as independent.

 

Damsel In distress here I come... However, it is the same with small petite women, I tend to do that as well. I like short women around 5'1, and I am 6'3. (I date any height of woman though honestly)... I don't know what it is truthfully.

 

Slightlybent, no matter how you try to word it, dating a damsel in distress is much different then giving out charity. I don't care what you say.

[Nightshade]

actually, it's called the "broken wing syndrome", and a good synonym might be altruism. for me, it's all about modestly helping all people in need without expectation of a return, not "saving women from themselves". how often i succeed is not relevant to my desire to be of use to humanity.

 

If you help all people in need, than you're probably not one of those men that the original poster and everyone else is referring to.

 

Messianic complex is something unrelated, pertaining to the schizophrenic belief that one is elevated above his fellow man and the incarnation of a deity.

 

Yes, I am aware of what the Messianic complex is, but because of its association, I apply it to men (and also some women) who are out to save others with somewhat grand delusions.

[Daddy Bear]

If you help all people in need, than you're probably not one of those men that the original poster and everyone else is referring to.

 

yeah, i think i missed something from the get-go. my apologies to the OP and everyone else (especially Iceman26) who had to suffer through reading my posts.

[Iceman26]

Oh its cool man, no hard feelings on my part!

[JustaGirl31]

Ahh...I think I'm feeling the love.

[jumper71]

As a guy, have you ever been burned by a damsel in distress? I know I have, really horrific... It is painful to see friends meet others and fall into it. For whatever the reasons, it seems to be almost human nature, ingrained to some degree. The guy opening the door for the lady, throwing down his coat so her shoes don't get muddy, to be a gentleman you put yourself out, do what is expected. When a female is in distress and crying on your shoulder, it almost gives a feeling of duty.

 

Of course maturity and experience bring this out of the natural instinct and show the reality that this is most likely destined for bad things. It is ashame because now I really avoid girls with this sort of behavior, and some of them are so attractive and I know that the inital period would be so passionate, but getting burned isn't worth it. Rather find someone with more self responsibility, not a damsel looking for a white knight.

[JustaGirl31]

I think it is shame to because it is human nature to want to help those in need. It's also frustrating as a girl to see good men - be more attracted to emotionally needy women than independent women. I guess it's just about meeting the right people

I think it's more rewarding to have a partner, rather than a "project". But - I didn't always think that. Maybe people get involved with situations like that because it's the only way they feel worthy of someone.