lost in my mind

[need2bme]

weird day for me today man. Yesterday, a little upbeat that maybe I could do this (probably lingering effects from talking to her) and today, another kick in the gut.

 

I sure will be glad, when I stop getting kicked and stop feeling like I want to throw up.

 

Sometimes I feel like a little kid, so it is time to grow up...

[doyle]

good question tygerr94, how do you build the Army...who is in that Army and how do you get them to do what you need them to do? I know that thiswboard is part of my Army....

 

need2beme; i too feel good sometimes and for no reason....then in the morining i wake up feeling like crap again for no apparent reason. I still wake up thinking about all that has happened and I think that some of my thoughts are carry over feelings from my dreams. I guess the good thing is that I am getting to work a hell of alot earlier then i was before....but then I have alot of time behind this computer and time to think....

[need2bme]

Tygerr: I know it has to come from within. I lost mine too. I lost mine, because I put all my life into my GF. I needed her to make me whole. I did nothing but live with her. That is how I lost MY self-worth. When we started dating, I was working 2 jobs, going to school and working out. I was doing what I should and what I wanted. I was bowling, going to games, hanging out with friends, etc. I stopped all of that and made her my self worth. She cannot live for me. She should not have the responsibility of making me feel good about myself.

 

Sure, when she didn't respond or make me feel like I was someone, that added to it, but ultimatly, only I can make me feel good. If I start doing what I used to do; being nice to people, not caring what others think, etc., then I will have my self worth back.

 

Doyle: Maybe the army is friends, family, this board, some guy on the street, etc. You know; anyone that will talk to you.

 

As for feeling crappy in the morning, you bring up an interesting point. What if that is a hold-over from dreams. Quite frankly, I don't recall any of my dreams lately. In fact, I don't remember the last time I had a dream. Wait, yeah I do. A few weeks ago; I was fighting some fat guy that had me in a leg lock. Don't know what that one meant.

 

Yesterday, I was thinking that I was going to be strong. I was thinking this is what had to happen for me to get my life back on some kind of track. I thought; "ok, I talked to her, she will call again and we will work this out." I can't think that way though. Then, this morning, no her and WHAM!! Funny thing is, at least the memories of her, make me feel a little closer, but they hurt like HELL.

 

Today I feel way too anxious and I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. Maybe it is because the time to get to the new job is coming close and I just now thought that maybe my suconscious knows I must start NC when I get there.

[need2bme]

Speaking of meds; I have never felt so anxious, jumpy and quick to upset, as I am today. Well, I think I did at first, but today I just feel weird about this whole situation, as if I can't believe it is happening.

 

I know it is my body's way of coping, but this is part of what I am trying to correct.

[doyle]

hmmm some interesting stuff, i went out to dinner with a friend last night. I felt really good after i left dinner, she was a friend of mine that did not know my ex never met her, but she knew me. It was good to talk with her about everything, i also talked to her about her relationship with her BF (not that I can give advise) but it was nice to have to eat dinner alone.....I know that need2beme have talked about eating alone and how fun that it!!! haha...

 

the reason i am saying all of this i feel the same way about the self worth and being ugly or like I have some sign on my head that just says "i just got dumped!" I sure am not out looking for a relationship at all, but it is all this perception that i am having of myself....it is funny i have accomplished some major things in my life...but none feel like "power" for me to draw strength from....however sitting with my friend last night, i asked her if she thought that i was ugly or a bad person....she justed laughed at me...gave me a nod and said no....i know that it may seem a little shallow, but anyone that is dealing with low self worth right now can relate. Again it was nice that she new me before i got into a relationship with my Ex, because i told her i did not know who i was, i lost my identity....she was shocked because anyone that knows me knows that i love to fish, and she was surprised that i was not out fishing all the time now....i tried to explain to her in my relationship with my Ex i did not lose that part of me, i fished almost everyweekend.....(i know now part of the breakup) now i do not find the pleasure in fishing. I just that is why it is depression right? I have dragged myself out to fish a couple of times, so i guess i am trying the "fake it, until you make it"

[need2bme]

Doyle: I was listening to a Rascal Flatts CD I bought last night, because one of the songs is "What Hurts the Most" (ok, I felt a little like being sad; is that weird?). On the same CD, there is a song called "Stand".

 

I wanted to put the lyrics to the chorus here and will post them in LadyJ's thread, as well.

 

 

"Stand" (Chorus)

'Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend 'til you break

'Cause its all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad, you get strong

Wipe your hands, shake it off

Then you stand

 

How prolific? It speaks to me and shows exactly where we need to get.

[doyle]

does the CD come with a self help book? haha...that would be great! those are good lyrics...i am telling you we are in the wrong business, we should be writing books and songs!

 

need2beme you are sounding really good right now!! that is great...i do not think that listening to sad music is bad there is alot of emotion behind it . i think that is speaks to what we are all feeling, as long as we do not get stuck listening to it all the time feel what you need to feel brother it is good and healthy!

[need2bme]

How am I sounding really good? I bought a CD for a good cry, for Pete's sake.

 

OK, no offense to any of the women here, but my friends keep calling me a little girl.

 

Yeah, I know I am feeling things, but lately, all I have been doing is going home, laying down, watching T.V. and falling asleep. Then, of course, I wake up earlier than I want to.

[kadvati79]

How am I sounding really good? I bought a CD for a good cry, for Pete's sake.

 

OK, no offense to any of the women here, but my friends keep calling me a little girl.

 

Yeah, I know I am feeling things, but lately, all I have been doing is going home, laying down, watching T.V. and falling asleep. Then, of course, I wake up earlier than I want to.

You are living and experiencing the real world... I read somewhere that one cannot be deeply responsive to the world without being saddened very often. The difference between experiencing the world and letting it consume you is action. You are taking action, from the simple act of posting here. And it is giving you strength, each time you do it.

 

I found going through "Emotional bankruptcy" very hard emotionally and physically. It would leave me exhausted. Your mind, and your heart, run at a million miles an hour every waking moment, and every dream seems to be filled with memories or situations that invoke thoughts of your ex.

 

Maybe the army is friends, family, this board, some guy on the street, etc. You know; anyone that will talk to you.

Excellent! I love it. I think you are right, the "army" comes literally from anything you can muster to give you courage. Anything at all you can do that gets you through to the next day. Its that random person who says something nice to you in the lift, and leaves you smiling as you walk out of it.

 

Beyond that, the army gives you the confidence to look at your relationship, and your ex, objectively and move it into your past. It gives you the ability to move forward into the future knowing that there are others out there, and that you are a complete person ready to share life with others.

[need2bme]

Hey guys. Today is not one of the good days.

 

I am sitting at work, knowing this is my last day at this gig. While, I know this is what is best, I still feel very sad about moving on to the position in another state.

 

This means a lot of realizing what is going on in my mind and my heart does not want to deal with it.

 

This means NC will start real soon. This means, 3 more months gone from her, when I never should have been gone for the previous 6. This means realizing that I can no longer hide behind us and need to realize what I am. This means working hard at something again, like this new job. It could open up many doors for me. It could close the door once and for all, on what I had with the GF.

 

You see, I hid a lot. I would not work on the job, as hard as I probably could have. I would get frustrated that it was difficult and I could not do it. I would get this mind set of "why try?", "I am only going to fail anyway".

 

I was looking at my temp badge today and noticed that I was wearing the exact same shirt I was wearing when I got here and had the picture taken. I was missing her then and did not want to be here, but did nothing to get back. Now I am missing her and I cannot get back.

 

I know that everyone has had heartbreak here and no one can say it was harder for them than others. I do not mean to sound that way at all.

 

I was with her for so long, that she became a part of me. It is hard to figure out how to actually BE, without her.

 

I want so much to call her and just say I am afraid and that I miss her, but I can't. All I can do is sit here, cry and wish I could...

 

Guys, I love her so much and should have done all I could to show her. See, I know what I did and when you love someone, you should take all you have and use it to show love. I thought things would just get better, or I would just look for a way to end it.

 

Be careful what you wish for...

[doyle]

Need2beme: you are going to another state and i think that it going to be good for you, to at least start something new...you are getting to start over alittle. you did not have her in this new state, so everything that you experience there is going to be yours and not her and yours. i think that i will be good, even if it is a short time. the one thing that you will have to remember is that you have your "ARMY" right at your finger tips! so, take some comfort in that....

 

i know that it is hard for you right now that you are ending a job, you had your GF leave. It is all about you right now and feeling ok about your feelings and learning from every turn. I have learned so much about me through you and the other people on this board! Just remember the definition of insanity!!! hold in their brother! this too shall pass...i am here for you.

[need2bme]

Doyle: That means a lot. It really does. I was just thinking about the "do over" after you and I spoke. I kept thinking about the movie "City Slickers" and what Billy Crystal said. It is a do over. I am getting another chance.

 

My friend, who is from Africa, has been to school in Italy and has been to many other places, said it is all about attitude. Having the right attitude. He was speaking about women, but one could apply that to many areas.

 

He also said that he does not think we are through yet. I replied that I have to act as if we are, otherwise I cannot change. He said I will find a beautiful woman up there. I replied that I wanted to find a nice Latina. He replied, you already had that dude. Why not try something else. I said, what, I have tried all the flavors and now I have to try something different. He replied, yeah, how about swiss?

 

It was kind of funny, but he was trying to get me to understand that I need to realize that this is my life and if it has to start over, then so be it.

 

Once again though guys, I know that she had her part in this, but I can totally remember all the things I did. Not just in a way that makes me want to take all the blame, but in a way that I realize what I have done. It makes me sad to know the way I treated her sometimes. I did not hit her or cheat on her, but I know I was distant and never happy.

 

I started all of this with compulsive behavior. Another friend of mine, said, and you haven't done that for what, like 9 years. I replied, almost 11. He said, well there ya go. I think he was trying to tell me that if she cannot forgive after 11 years, then that is not me.

 

But I did not do things I should have. I have not been me.

 

Anyways, I am rambling and I need to get everything together here at work, before I leave...

[doyle]

anyone else working today? I hate the long weekends, however i have been able to fill more of my time up with things that were important to me...so i am feeling alittle better today, i woke up for the first time this morning with out thinking about everything....hmmmm, or was i and my mind is just so numb to it all? interesting?

 

i hope that everyone is having a good weekend.....Need2beme: you are going to kick * * * in your new position...i have all the faith in the world for you man!

[GottaLetItBurn]

I really need to read that thank you so much. That finally just flipped a switch that gives me some hope. I have been feeling so, none caring. No pain, just don't really care anymore, and I want to. I just can't, she texts me but I don't even care because it's pointless. I just want to feel some thing again but I don't reall know whats stopping me. Maybe it just takes a while, because I'm only 18..and I feel so scared. I was betrayed, and I don't see any point, I don't see me feeling happy being with someone else. My mind knows that's just crazy.

 

I just figured after all the pain I should feel happy and that's not the case and I'm freaking out. Hopefully I'll wake up one day and see a point in dressing nice, and asking people how they are. Right now though I am "emotionally bankrupt".

[kadvati79]

No pain, just don't really care anymore, and I want to. I just can't, she texts me but I don't even care because it's pointless.

Hopelessness is a form of pain, in my opinion. In many ways it can be a coping mechanism. Some feel too much, and become incredibly emo, and others simply block out the pain and feel nothing. Each has its merits and problems.

 

I just want to feel some thing again but I don't reall know whats stopping me.

I am going through the same thing, I have met a lovely guy - but the feelings are problematic because of my coming to terms with my past relationship. Its not easy. Thankfully, my dude is very understanding - and we are taking things very slowly.

 

I have learned feeling comes after action. Feeling changes for many different reasons, sometimes because of an event and sometimes just spontaniously. But in times like these, you just have to get out there. And wait for the "winds of emotion" to change. Thats when your sails will fill up and you will be on your way again. Remember a ship can't change its sails on the drop of a coin...

 

Maybe it just takes a while, because I'm only 18..and I feel so scared. I was betrayed, and I don't see any point, I don't see me feeling happy being with someone else. My mind knows that's just crazy.

The way you feel now, you won't be happy with anyone else. But feelings are not constant. They change, as with life. People betray, people loose heart, people hurt, that is life. You cannot change this or confront it any more than you can defeat the sky blue. But just because you can't see whats over the hill, doesn't mean nothing is there.

 

I just figured after all the pain I should feel happy and that's not the case and I'm freaking out. Hopefully I'll wake up one day and see a point in dressing nice, and asking people how they are. Right now though I am "emotionally bankrupt".

I seem to walk forward and then just when I am on my feet, I am getting kicked back down. I have been quite depressed over the last few days, to the point I couldn't even bring my self to post about it. But these feelings are transient. Feelings are not who I am, I am my hopes and dreams. I am my attitude.

 

One minute you are doing so well and then something sets you back, kicks you to the ground, and stomps dust in your face. You lay down there and just want to cry. Each time you pull yourself up, you tell yourself its the last time. But you get up, you wipe the blood and dust from your face and you let those tears stream down. You get up because that is all there is too do. Because you are stronger than this.

 

It is when you are lying there, in the dust, with nobody to pull you up, that you find out who you really are. You realise that no matter what happens, you can rely on your spirit to stick with you no matter what choice you make. It hurts, it cuts deep into who you are. It burns like flames from the surface of the sun. But you push through it. Because you're nearly at the top of the hill again...

[Riggz41510]

Well I know the feeling all too well.. Imagine this.. I've been with my GF whom is also my daughters mom off and on since 99.

 

We had our first real break-up in December 04. She cut me off out the blue.. She dogged me during the break-up. You name it I did it.. Flowers, cards, gifts, I even bought a ring and was going to ask her to marry me and she told me "she has moved on and so should I" now this was only one month into the break-up.. I went through all the emotions from crying, anger, what ifs.. all of them..

 

The pain is only intensified 10 times more when you still have to be in contact with that person.. I couldn't and can't do NC we have a child.. I called her phone one day and the new guy answered it, she came and picked my daughter up from me with him in the car.. Imagine that!!!

 

So time passes I eventually get a little stronger and I tell her that I can now see my life without her, when at first I couldn't.. The tables immediately turn she now all of a sudden wants to get back together.. I'm so happy I don't question anything, we jump right back into it..

 

Well it only lasted 2 months.. I guess she was still seeing the other guy.. I'm crushed.. This time I had paid for us too move($5000), bought her another ring($2600) and she agreed to marry me.. So we part ways again.. It was real ugly..

 

I'm back to square one with all the emotions etc.. I eventually have a girl I was talking to during our first break-up move in to help on the bills because she left me stuck with the house.. She even had the audacity to get mad at me when she found out the girl was there.. I'm thinking that's what fueled the whole "I want you back attitude" I will explain below..

 

Here I go again trying to get her back all the e-mails, tears, texts etc.. She does the same thing reject me.. Another 4 months pass she contacts me telling me how sorry she was, can I forgive her, she now understands what she did wrong can we please give our family another shot.. So of course I want it.. I end the relationship with the other girl, I pack up and move to a 1 bedroom apt to give us a fair shot at making things work..

 

So here I am now 4 months later and she has changed her mind again.. She claims I'm not the man for her, she need a more family oriented man blah, blah, blah.. Now I have been here twice in the past 2 years, but I am still experiencing the same feelings I experienced the other 2 times.. I am crushed I'm hurting, I miss her, I can't focus, eat, sleep etc.. And again it intensifies it because I know I have to call her for my daughters sake.. It's been two weeks now, and I am a mess.. I don't know what to do..

 

I have let this woman do this too me 3 times.. Imagine going through that intense feeling 3 times.. And its no easier each time

[wikcrs]

Hello everyone. I havent been on here for 2 years, and now is the time to come back. I find enormous support in reading through your experiences, for that I say thank you.

 

Alittle about me; The November of 2004 I met a girl, we fell in love, life was good. Finishing school the following spring, I spent the most wonderful summer with her before being called in to the military for one year (in norway this is mandatory). This year is coming to a close, as did our relationship yesterday... PS. This is my first real relationship ever, I'm 20 years old this september.

 

My particular service required me to be away 1 week, and home the next, it was probably the best thing I could ever have hoped for. I was thrilled to be able to see my girlfiend that much during this year.

 

This monday morning, on my 15 minute train ride back home, I was overjoyous. The sun was shining, temperature was good, and I was looking forward to holding my precious girl again.

Half an hour later I pulled up outside her parents house, jumped out of my car, ran around back to the porch and went inside. Finally walking through her bedroom door, I instantly knew something was wrong. Thats about 34 hours ago...

We cried together, she repeatedly told me how wonderful I am, that she loves me, but that there is something missing, and she has felt like this for a while.

Shortly after the inital shock, we were both talking normally about the why's, what's and how's, I don't think it really struck me until late last night, as I went to bed alone. I think it's also worth noting that we for some reason had sex a short while after she had told me we were done.

 

We talked about how we wanted things to be in the future, this all being sort of surreal I proposed to talk things over the next day (today), when things had fallen in to place. When I left her house some 4 hours later, I spent the rest of the night with some friends.

When the last of my friends left my place late last night, I burst into tears as I was picking her fotos, letters and mostly everything I had gotten from her, off of the walls etc. This was the most horrible night I have ever gone through. I deleted every message and every picture I ever sendt or received, rewrote my Msn profile and tried to get rid of everything that reminded me of her.

I quickly realized that just about everything I could think off reminded me of her. I even began crying thinking how I would never bring her her special slice of bread and water in the morning, as I laid down in the bed.

 

First thing I did as I woke up at 9 am this morning, was jump out of bed, get dressed and drive over to her place. The second I saw her face, it was as everything was allright again, like this whole thing never even happened, I followed her down to her room. We talked for a while, we were both very sad. But just being around her made me feel great (we both smiled and laughed together), we agreed that we both wanted to keep in touch, but we weren't sure how or when to start seeing eachother again.

She also said that if I ever needed to, I could allways come over to talk or just to see her again.

The thing thats freaking me out is, when I'm with her, I have a totally different mindset than after being alone, just thinking. I even remember her saying that she was probably gonna miss me so much, she would come crying for me to take her back.

All of this is giving me a sort of false hope, like none of this is for real.

 

Anyways, sorry for being so long, I'm just so incredibly confused right now. Everyone keeps saying it's best to do NC, but I just don't think I am strong enough to never pick up the phone or go see her again. I'm barely strong enough to sit still without crying.

Thinking about how great it makes me feel to sit down next to her, hold her, and talk about this with her, how could it hurt to keep in touch when this person isn't just the love of your life, but also your best friend? I would think you need to talk things through before you stop seeing someone, or am I wrong?

I don't know, all I know is that I miss her. I want to txt her, telling her I need to see her tonight. Tell me, is there any hope of being able to keep in touch, or should I just cut off all contact?

[kadvati79]

Anyways, sorry for being so long, I'm just so incredibly confused right now. Everyone keeps saying it's best to do NC, but I just don't think I am strong enough to never pick up the phone or go see her again. I'm barely strong enough to sit still without crying.

NC is a method to heal, nothing more. Its simply a concept, and in the end if means many things to many different people. I believe its something that people should do when they have reached a point where they don't want to hurt any more. Thats what NC does, it stops *fresh* wounds... leaving you simply to deal with the old ones and start building a new life.

 

The reason you aren't strong is because the change is so recent, as time passes, you will find you get stronger. The feelings may well stay the same, but your strength and ability to live without her increases.

 

how could it hurt to keep in touch when this person isn't just the love of your life, but also your best friend?

It will hurt when you see her on the dance floor, kissing someone else. Holding someone else. Then your heart breaks all over again. In any good partnership, your lover is also going to be your best friend - but you can't separate them. In your mind she will still be "your gal" and no matter what strength you think you need to get over a breakup - you need twice as much strength to be her friend and what her in the arms of someone else.

 

I would think you need to talk things through before you stop seeing someone, or am I wrong?

 

I don't know, all I know is that I miss her. I want to txt her, telling her I need to see her tonight. Tell me, is there any hope of being able to keep in touch, or should I just cut off all contact?

I really think you need to retreat. You are both young. There is a special bond. But she probably needs to loose herself for a bit, then find herself, then find someone to perminantly spend her time with. From my own experience, this tends to happen in the late teen's early twenties. Suddenly there is this big wide world out there and people often seem to want to go out and make their own mistakes.

 

The challenge here is approach, figure out what you want. Accept the way you feel. And approach you new life with the right attitude and action. Its going to be hard, so face it. Show her your strength by respecting the breakup. She now owes you nothing and you owe her nothing. Believe me, when she meets someone else she will seem to have moved on faster than a speeding bullet and if you keep in touch with her to "ease the pain" now you will prolong the inevitable.

 

There is a big danger in being friendzoned if you stay in regular contact. Peoples feelings are their feelings no matter what happens really. I think that if a reconciliation truly has the potential to happen (one that leads to a successful relationship), it will happen probably regardless of the actions of the two during the breakup.

 

When you truly love someone, being apart from them does little to destroy that. She has asked to experience life without you, give her what she asks for.

[need2bme]

Ya gotta love it. What good stuff. I am here to tell ya brother, that although I knew my GF and I were having issues, I did not see the breakup coming.

 

Also, like you, she gives me mixed signals. Remember, that happens, because you are used to one another. I am sure she loves you, as I am sure my ex loves me. You want a total comittment though. I am glad I am not there, because I would so try and get her back.

 

I miss her, now that I am here alone, in a different state with no one to share things with. BUT, I can get this done on my own. I will not have her to lean on and I WILL have to lean on me. I thank God that he gave me the chance to be strong.

 

Read the stuff that ICE wrote again. You have to know that if you guys remain friends and she starts seeing or talking with someone else, it will crush you. If I found out that my ex was seeing someone else, I don't know what I would do. Also, at one time, I thought I would look through stuff to see if she was.

 

That is weak. An invasion of privacy. I should be strong enough to hold my own, yet I wanted to break down like a little 13 year old with a bruised ego. We have to be strong enough to know that we are worth this. I keep telling myself that I am worth this new job. I will make this work.

 

 

and you will too!!!

[wikcrs]

I was watching the soccer semi finals last night with my best friend, when she suddenly called me up, asking me to go for a walk with her. I agreed, and drove over.

She said she just had to see me, or as she puts it, she needed her daily dose of me before going to bed. It struck me as abit egoistic at first, she dumped me, but she had to see me. I quickly realised I had accepted that we stayed in touch for now, and that it was sort of my own fault for agreeing to meet her.

Anyways, by the end of it all we were both in good spirits, with abit more answers. We talked about keeping in touch or not, and I said I didn't know what to do. She really wanted to keep me as a friend, saying I shouldn't be afraid that she would go out with anyone for a long time.

I want to believe that she won't, but I know its inevitable, when she gets back out with her friends, she's gonna want some fun in her life, fun I can no longer give her. But god, it feels so good to be around her, it's like a drug that instantly makes you feel so much better about being you.

It's like an addiction.

 

She told me I should write everything that comes to mind down, since I'm much better with the written than the spoken word. Then when I feel like I have written down enough, I could choose to have her read it, or not. She honestly wants to help me through this, knowing the only resolve I can imagine is her taking me back again.

I'm off to my first day at work since this happened, I'm gonna hate it, I allways analyse and grind on thoughts when at work. God I hope I can one day logg back onto these boards and smile at how this all worked out.

 

Ahh well, I just had to logg on here to share my thoughts about last night, don't know if it was such a good idea, but it felt good at the time. I don't feel to bad at the moment either, thanks for your replies, it really helps to know what I have to do to get past this, but for now, I'll be taking it one day, one step, at the time.

[doyle]

here is what my thought is on having the other person help us get over it, they are trying to pad their guilt for hurting your feelings, it is much better for you to find away to get over her without her.

 

yes, my posted are starting to get a little more anger to them, YA!!! I am not waking up every morning thinking about her. I still think about the relationship but i think that i am learning alot more about myself. I want to thank everyone on here for that. So if you are reading thread for the first time, you will feel a little better over time for sure.

 

Need2beme: I hope that you are doing well at your new job!!

[need2bme]

Doyle: Glad to see the anger buddy. I too can get a hold of the anger, but then some feeling comes along and rips it back. I start thinking about what I could have done. I start remembering what I did do.

 

So, I perform a mental tapout on the anger and hope that I can make a lasting change in the way I feel about her, me and things in general.

[need2bme]

BTW, I forgot to tell you brother. My GF left me a message to wish me a happy holiday and at the end, said "I love you".

 

Don't know if it was out of habit, but it felt nice and weird, all at the same time.

[need2bme]

Man, last night I had a nightmare brother. Other than the whole fat guy thing, this is the only one I can remember in a month or so.

 

I woke up at 2:35 AM from this. It sucked. It was a TOTAL kick in the head this time. I tried to post from the motel but did not have internet access. It would have made me feel a lot better.

 

Basically it involved me, my GF and her sisters. Man, everything was so vivid. This is the first time in a long time, I could actually see everyone clearly in a dream.

 

Apparently we were together again and she was arguing with me about something and was acting as if she wanted to breakup. I asked her, "so are you telling me you want to breakup again?" She replied, "yes, I have felt that way for about 2 weeks." I found out in the dream, that her sister (the one that I thought was wanting to help me) was telling her I was a son-of -a-***** and she needed to get rid of me. The other sister (who I thought does not like me) was crying about something, which I assumed was her sister's situation with me. I was trying to find out why the former sister would do such a thing and if the latter sister was crying or even knew about the situation. Also, she had her hair the same way it was when I regretted asking her why she changed it (the time I told you I was sorry for asking her why she changed it, when she spent so much time on it).

 

It was really distubing. I just wrapped up in the blanket and stared into space for a while. I then got on to post about it, but couldn't.

 

It is simply amazing the tricks your mind will play on you. It was as if it was happening all over again. I am not back at square one, but it really bothered me.

[Oldboy]

here is what my thought is on having the other person help us get over it, they are trying to pad their guilt for hurting your feelings, it is much better for you to find away to get over her without her.

 

I am not waking up every morning thinking about her. I still think about the relationship but i think that i am learning alot more about myself. I want to thank everyone on here for that. So if you are reading thread for the first time, you will feel a little better over time for sure.

 

Glad to know you are getting out of the routine of thinking of her first thing. Sometime every morning she will be absent from your thoughts. Then along the line you'll stop youself one day and say "Hey I havn't thought about her today" That's because you'll have been to busy thinking about yourself and what you can do today. What more you can learn about yourself today.

You've already found out you have inner strength... enough to deal with heartache and loss. Remember when you were on your knees? But also bear in mind that you will hurt again.. you will feel pain again in moments. But you know now that it will pass and you won't always feel this way.

Nothing is for ever.

Good luck Doyle and need2bme (that was a hell of a dream) Keep posting.

Icemotoboy; Your posts helping these guys are a pleasure to read. Keep up the good work.