x.Utopian.Dream.x Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 What does it mean when a guy asks you how your love life is?...And when you tell him it's non-existant but you like someone he keeps asking questions to find out who that someone is? And that guy is that someone! In the end I ended up telling him it was him and he said. 'Aww thats sweet but why me?" He didn't say "Really? Well I like you to" sooo I dunno tbh. But I said I wanted to get to know him better and then he said maybe you should. So I asked him for his number and he was like 'Nice He's been on msn since and I've always been the one to initiate the conversation and when we've been talking on there the convo has been quite brief. I've texted him once too but he texted off his mates phone saying he had no credit. So I starting thinking he wasn't interested and I was v. confused so I ended up asking him straight out. Heres how it went: Me: u know the other week we said we'd get to kno each other, well do u want to or not? id like to but if u dnt have no interest then jus say and ill be fine with it. Him: well yeh course get to no each other, but ive been really busy recently havent had time Me: ahh ok thats fine then. if uv been busy. jus wanted to kno if u really did or not. was a bit confused. well when ur not busy anymore then u can tlk to me more if u want to. hope ur all ur exams went ok xx Him: sorry Him: didnt mean to confuse you What do you think? Do you think he's telling the truth or just using some excuse? Any opinions I will be grateul for. xx UPDATE: 15/06/06. Well, today me and my mate -whos also a mate of his- when up to the guy I like and he ran off! So I went and left my mate to talk to him. She came back later and told me she asked him why he ran off and he said it's because he was embarrassed in front of me. Whats that all about?? x UPDATE: 17/06/06. I asked him about the 'embarrassed thing' today and he denied that I embarrass him! Weird... Anyway after that he asked me what I was up to and he asked whether I wanted to come to the pub with him. Thats good, isn't it? Thing is I wasn't able to go so I had to turn him down but I did let him know that I'd go another time with him. He went a bit quiet after that. Did I do the wrong thing? x Link to comment
JJRadical Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Your making it too easy for him...he's insecure...asking how your love life is a way of beating around the bush and finding out for sure if he's in or not without actually asking you out...he is either not that into you or too insecure to pursue you...but his ego feels good...affect a regression...ignore him a couple of times...he starts joking around with you don't play his game...then he'll start pursuing you harder...don't jsut be like, "here i am, lets go out." Some guys are intimidated by that especially a baby like him... Link to comment
reality_writer Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 I had a guy friend of mine always ask me about my love life, then finally i told him I was interested in him, and nothing really came of it and we still were good friends, then we ended up together for a summer, then we both moved away and that ended, but every once and awhile when I talk to him on msn, he'll still ask me about my love life........ I dunno why. It confuses me. I think that he just feels guilty for what happened that summer in some way.... OR he's just being really nosey lol. In some way I think he is interested but not interested enough to pursue it. He could also be keeping is "options" open and seeing who is available. He could truly have an interest in you, but perhaps you're not the only one. Anyway, Hope things work out with your guy! But in my experience, if two people like each other, they make time to talk or get together, and don't usually use the "Im busy" excuse. Link to comment
JJRadical Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Attraction is like a rubber band. Pull to far away it snaps...but don't pull at all it stays slack... Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Him: well yeh course get to no each other, but ive been really busy recently havent had time sounds like an excuse to me. sorry. I've been in a similar situation as you back when I was in high school. I just wasn't getting the clue. I was doing too much of the chasing/pushing. I was calling him everyday, offering to give him my homework if he needed help, getting him a sandwhich from the store if he forgot his lunch at home. yes, I'm rolling my eyes at myself. He always gave me answers like, "I like you, but I'm too busy to hang out with you." Even during christmas vacation! Eventually I just gave up on him, and he came back to me 3 years later for a second chance. (and by that time, I was waaaay over him) This is what you do - just back off. Don't ask him anymore if he likes you or whatever. Just do your own thing. And if he likes you, he'll ask you out on some dates, or he'll find reasons to call or IM you. Like JJ said, you are making it too easy for him, just like I did for that guy I told you about. good luck Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 I agree with Annie and I hope you take her advice! RC Link to comment
x.Utopian.Dream.x Posted June 11, 2006 Author Share Posted June 11, 2006 Thanks for the advice everyone. I haven't spoke to him since he said that to me which was a few days ago. So yeah I'm trying to back off. But we go back to college tomorrow and I will probably see him. How should I act around him? x Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 pleasant but detached. say hi if he says hi to you, but don't make yourself so available for long conversations with him. how about joining link removed or something, to try to meet some new guys while this guy decides if he has the guts or not to ask you out for coffee? Link to comment
Budman Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 Attraction is like a rubber band. Pull to far away it snaps...but don't pull at all it stays slack... My new favorite quote. Anyway, me and a friend of mine always ask this question, me and her like each other but its more of a friendly thing. I think we both get the thoughts of fancy with each other, but nothing ever progresses. Honestly, it could be a friend thing, it could be a "fish". Lately, I don't ask. Truthfully, I figure that'll come up if its true. I've said, I'm single once. That didn't turn out well though...lol Honestly, stop messaging him. Stop initiating contact. Make him do some work. It's a game that needs to be played. Gl Link to comment
Haven Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 I agree that you should back off a little. When you see him at college, you can say "hi" and have a conversation, but don't expect anything else. Link to comment
x.Utopian.Dream.x Posted June 15, 2006 Author Share Posted June 15, 2006 Theres an update! Read first post. ^^ x Link to comment
Budman Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I would say he probably likes you. Have you asked him? Link to comment
x.Utopian.Dream.x Posted June 17, 2006 Author Share Posted June 17, 2006 I asked him about it today and he denied that I embarrass him! Weird... Anyway after that he asked me what I was up to and he asked whether I wanted to come to the pub with him. Thats good, isn't it? Thing is I wasn't able to go so I had to turn him down but I did let him know that I'd go another time with him. He went a bit quiet after that. Did I do the wrong thing? x Link to comment
DN Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 Too vague - when you want to go out with someone but have to turn them down it is always best to offer an alternative date. "Sorry, can't tonight but how about tomorrow (or whatever)" I advise give him a call and doing that. Link to comment
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