Tired of two-faced friends & have let go..why won't they

[Tete1829]

Hi,

 

I had been friends with these two girls for 4 years and we really were the best of friends throughout most of that time. I confided in them and vice-versa and we spent a lot of time together. I started to notice a while ago that they lied to me a lot, used me, talked about me and each other, and ALWAYS made me feel as if i was a bad person b/c i always stand up for myself, speak directly, and confront a person if there is conflict (something they've never had the ability to do and never will). I don't want to come off as conceited but i consider myself to be a decent person and i would NEVER intentionally hurt, betray or deceive anyone the way they do. I always did my best to aid these people when they needed me most and they continually betrayed my kindness and my trust. I'd confront them when they did things that hurt or angered me and i'd try for a resolution but they continued to be two-faced and spiteful and i realized i wanted out of the friendship when i became tempted to beat the crap out of these two girls (i'm only 18...prison is not my goal in life j/k.)

 

To make a long story a little shorter, i decided that i was tired of feeling bad and blamed so i made the decision to stop talking to them. They began to remind me of elementary-aged children in that their maturity levels, common sense and courtesy are rediculously under-developed and in their cases, non-existent. I couldn't be around these people who, at 18, should have a greater sense of compassion and value yet continue to behave like 12 year old airheads. Not speaking to or seeing these girls was the best decision i've ever made. I continue to foster an extreme hatred for these girls and getting away from them was wonderful...but they won't leave me alone.

 

I made it clear to them that i don't want to be friends and that i don't need them (i have other friends) and they, with their 5 year old mentalities, drive by my place of business and house repeatedly actually thinking that me seeing them together still "friends" will make me jealous (because everyone wants to be friends with them). I confronted them about the "stalking" and now they want to be friends again (and i mocertainly DO NOT)...how can i tell these morons nicely that i want nothing to do with them and that they should steer clear of me??? I'm sorry this is so long. Thank you in advance for yor help!

 

Terry

[blonde]

hello terry,

 

i think you can just tell them again and again. maybe, if you feel they deserve it because of old friendship, you can meet on neutral ground and explain to them, that you just don't feel that you are close anymore, that you felt cut out around them, and that you are interested in different things now. try not to be mean, you have been friend for a long time.

also, try not to go to the same places.

 

good luck

[raggamuffin]

I dont think that you can nicely say to these girls that you dont want anything to do with them, because I dont think they seem to be getting your other nice messages. If they are stalking you, change your day to day routine, dont do things you normally do for a while, maybe try to get away for a few days so they cant find you anywhere and change your phone numbers, email addresses and all of that sort of thing. If the stalking continues i think they you should go to the police and get some sort of restraining order. I hope they leave you alone soon.

[SympatheticLoner]

hi, i am going thru exactly the same thing as u are, so we're pretty much on the same boat. I've got the same two friends u were mentioning, both stabbing me behind my back. They're excluding me, but luckily (since im very shy) i met a new friend and i've moved away from them ever since.

[Tete1829]

Hey,

 

Thanks for all the advice and replies, i appreciate it greatly

 

I'm thinking that i'll just continue ignoring them. Talking logically and maturely never worked before so it most likely won't work now (and i'm not in the mood to dilute my words into baby talk just so they understand me lol ). Raggamuffin advised that i should divert them by changing my schedule, which is a very good idea. Thing is, i work for my father's business and i can't just leave him hanging. I stay away from the places we used to go to as friends and anything in the vicinity of their households...they're coming to me which is what angers me b/c i just want to be left alone. No one can be nice to these people...they're too aggrivating lol Thanks everyone!

 

Terry B.