Does he know what he's getting himself into?! What do I do, please help!! XX

[Hunny1607307342]

Hey guys, I really need advice!!

Basically, I've just gotten into my first proper relationship

 

But the thing is, I'm 17 and he's 19, he's had quite a lot of girlfriends, I haven't ever had a proper boyfriend (well not longer than 2 weeks), and more significantly: He's had SEX when he was with his last long-term girlfriend. I'm a virgin and I don't want to lose my virginity for quite a while. I mean I had my first kiss not long ago, when I was 16! I'm just not ready and I've always expected it to be with someone I'm IN LOVE with and will stay with for a very long time, if not forever. Don't get me wrong, I do really like this guy a lot, we click SO WELL and I care about him a lot, but I'm not IN LOVE with him. I've told him this when he first asked me out, I said I'm not ready for a "full on" relationship, and he was like "what, you mean with sex?" and then I got embarrassed I didn't say anything but I think he realised and said "it's not just about sex, there's more to it" and I was like "what but your a GUY" and he was like "yeah well its a sacrifice I'm willing to make". I thought this made him really special... I mean how often do you hear a guy say that.

 

BUT THEN I realised well actually, that's easier said than done because guys can't control their excitement, can they? I don't want to hold him back from having a passionate relationship with someone with all the sex and everything. E.g. Once he told me he's sexually frustrated as a little joke, but I acutally got quite worried I was thinking oh no...

 

If I still haven't had sex with him after like 6 months (because I wont, especially because it will be winter, and I want to lose my virginity in summer if I were to lose it haha) then do you think he will want to break up? I mean I can't blame a guy for having a sex drive. I don't know what to do... please help xxx

(Also a guys point of view would be really really useful!!)

[Broken_Doll_ParTs]

If a guy really loves you he wont push you into anything, he wont try to influence your descions and he wont make you suffer once you have choosen what you want to do, instead he would support you.

Im practically 20 and Im still a virgin (and Ive had 3 serious relationships one lasting more than 1yr) and Im proud to be one, Its nothing to be embrassed of. You should tell him how you feel next time this topic comes up between you two. Be upfront about it. If he respects you he will understand.

[JJRadical]

1)The fact that he said there is "more to it"...mmm...i have my doubts...he may be just biding his time...I expect him to a)start breaking down your defenses...progessing slowly physically, introducing alchohol, being alone with you in a secluded place b)apply pressure (such as his little joke,which you are right is alot more than a "joke") by using guilt and other such dreadful emotions...and/or c) cheat.

 

2)Guys love a challenge...having sex with you in his mind is going to be nirvana to him because of the resistance you are offering and the fact that you are younger. So he may hang around for awhile/ a long while but that will always be in the back if not the front of his mind.

 

3)It could be he just likes being around you but if he's had quite alot girlfriends before...refer to #1.

[Momene]

He probably masturbates to relieve his sexual tension. I do it a lot when I'm away on business and I miss the Mrs.

[bhzmafia]

Contrary to popular belief... not all guys want to only have sex and leave it at that.

[bebecole]

if he cares about you he will let you decide when you want too.. and he wouldnt make you feel unfortble..

[sophie274]

Hi

 

He sounds like he's sincere. I think you should just go with the flow. You may change your mind about having sex - ie. you may find you feel ready a lot earlier than you expect to be now - but most importantly wait to have sex until you WANT to. Some people want it to be with someone they love, some people could not care less, but make you sure you do it at a time you will not regret later. If you start feeling pressured to have sex with him when you're not ready, just say NO. If he continues, dump him.

 

My first boyfriend dumped me a month or so after I turned seventeen because I would not have sex with him. (This was after 6 weeks of dating). What a loser. I don't regret my decision at all.