What is this?

[notsurewhat2think]

Girlfriend says" I love you and care for you and we would be great together right now". But in my heart my feelings really have changed and I don't see us together in the future. I need you to know I consider you a good friend even though it would be hard to be friends right now. Take care, Love...." Any ideas?

[Russo]

Girlfriend says" I love you and care for you and we would be great together right now". But in my heart my feelings really have changed and I don't see us together in the future.

 

In this sentence I read two opposites. My guess is that she is conflicted (duh). To be honest I don't know in your case, I don't have knowledge of your history with this girl.

 

I might sound a bit negative, but when someone says they love you and care for you they,most likely, aren't lying. The fact that they love you doesn't mean they wish to be with you. I think she needs some time to straighten herself out. Thank her for her thoughts but don't put too much hope into it.

 

Don't slam the door on her, but leave it a bit open. If she wants to walk through the door on her own, fine. But don't invite her in.

 

My two cents, the best I can do at the moment.

[miticalzz]

i think she cares about you but not enough to be commited or have a futrue with you. she just isn't ready or thinks your not the right guy for her.

[friscodj]

God, I hate those words, "I really care about you"...

 

She is telling you her heart isn't in the relationship anymore for whatever reason. She doesn't see you as being her long term mate. BUT she thinks you're an OK guy and wants you in her life in a lesser capacity for reasons which may include:

 

1) easing her guilt about the situation,

2) being courteous and polite in offering friendship,

3) easing the transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to break-up,

4) "keeping you around" in case her feelings change for some (unlikely) reason, and

5) "wanting her cake and eating it too" by not being in a relationship with you but still wanting to "have you" there for her...

 

I'm sorry buddy, those words you wrote really suck...

[lady00]

God, I hate those words, "I really care about you"...

 

She is telling you her heart isn't in the relationship anymore for whatever reason. She doesn't see you as being her long term mate. BUT she thinks you're an OK guy and wants you in her life in a lesser capacity for reasons which may include:

 

1) easing her guilt about the situation,

2) being courteous and polite in offering friendship,

3) easing the transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to break-up,

4) "keeping you around" in case her feelings change for some (unlikely) reason, and

5) "wanting her cake and eating it too" by not being in a relationship with you but still wanting to "have you" there for her...

 

I'm sorry buddy, those words you wrote really suck...

 

I agree fully. I would try not to read too much into what she said and just focus on the main message that she does not want to be with you. As much as that hurts to hear, it's all you really need to know. For the sake of your healing, ignore the other things she said and give yourself a good long break from interacting with her so that you can move on. Good luck.

[eyeswideopen]

I've got some questions for ya. One how old are you two and how long have you been together? What were some of the issues that caused the breakup? From the info I have now, it sounds like she'll have fun with you now and be with you, but when something better comes along or what she thinks she wants for a lifetime relationship you'll be pushed aside. Is that something you're willing to risk? Or, ask her why she doesn't see you guys together forever? Maybe she'll spell it out for you.

[friscodj]

I'd leave this one be. It's done.

[notsurewhat2think]

Thanks for the replies guys.

 

EyesWide. I'm 29 she's turning 26. We dated for 7 months and argued twice about the stupidest things. We would spend weekends together and we would both say to each other "two more or three days till we see each other" etc. The first time I told her I loved her she said after that "I already knew I Loved You before you told me". It was an amazing relationship and we would speak maybe twice a day so it wasn't like we saw each other too much. Her friends would say "do you think this is the one" and she would tell them "it may be". I just don't get it, there were no warning signs and it isn't the first girl I've dated so I have an idea when something isn't right. I've never felt this way about someone. It sucks!