Father's Day HELP!!!

[whatsagirltodo]

I have two fathers day questions...

 

My first dilemma is that my dad passed away several years ago, and it's kind of a sensitive subject with me. So ultimately I feel weird about father's day in general.

 

So I got my boyfriend's mom a mother's day card...but I really don't know his dad all that well, and he isn't even very close to his dad at all, should I still get him a father's day card...just because I got his mom a mother's day card?

 

My second question is that I have a stepdad and my little sister considers him "dad" (but she doesn't call him that, but she'll give him things that imply she considers him a dad) and that's all fine with me she was only like 9 years old when he became her stepdad...but I just have that "he is NOT my dad" mentality and I don't know if I should get him a card or not (even if it's just a card FOR a stepdad)...

 

It really doesn't seem like a big deal - they're just cards, but still, I don't want to be disrespectful...

[Dako]

I'd think the only father you should be concerned with is your own.

Maybe you're trying to sublimate your feelings for your father in some way.

[Vert]

I agree with Dako, but IMO if you gave a card to your bf's mother then it's only fair to give on to his father as well. Are they divorced/separated though? This might be a diff scenario if he's not close to his dad AND his parents aren't together.

 

As for your step-dad, I think it's courteous to at least give him something to remind him that it's father's day. I'm sure it's equally as tough on him when his step-children don't consider him their father yet he's trying to be one to your sister. Kind of a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario for him, and perhaps a card for Father's Day would really make his day. Always look to sew seeds of good merit to others and it will return to you even more.

[whatsagirltodo]

I guess I'll have to ask my boyfriend if I should give his dad a card. His parents got divorced a long time ago, but are "together" and still call eachother husband and wife. His dad's a pretty nice guy, but I really don't see him all that often. I'm close to his mom though. It's weird though because my boyfriend and his brother call their dad by his first name when talking to eachother...so it's obvious neither of them are very close to him...

[BellaDonna]

If your boyfriend is sending his dad a card- maybe he can put your name on it too? It can be very casual:

 

"Happy Father's Day from (your BF's name)

 

and __(your name)____ too!"

 

 

BellaDonna

[bebecole]

yeh i agree with the above..

you and your b/f should go halves on a little gift and card and say it was from the both of you..

thats what i would do.

[lkorta1990]

i agree with them to

[Jorus Cbaoth]

Get your bf's dad a set of wrenches. Or maybe a new rifle. That's my list anyway! Cards to me are like saying "Oh, I was thinking about you but was too cheap to buy anything!" I usually throw them away unless they have money. You can get his dad a gift without him being your father. As for your "step" dad, if you don't feel like he is a father to you, then forget him. Don't buy him something just so he doesn't feel bad.

[BellaDonna]

Maybe I read wrong, but it seems that she hasn't entered the realm of gifts yet for anyone in her BF's family. She got his mother a card for mother's day so feels like she should somehow acknowledge father's day to his dad too. But she does not know his dad very well. In that case, I think having her name also signed on the card from her BF is appropriate (as long as her BF is ok with that).

 

Until I was married I never contributed financially to getting gifts for for my husband's relatives and vice versa- we did sign both names on the card though. It keeps things simple, yet cordial.

 

BellaDonna

[whatsagirltodo]

Thanks BellaDonna, you have it completely right. I just feel like since I got his mom a card, it'd only be fair to get his dad a card too. But at the same time I feel weird getting his dad a card. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not close to him, or because the whole "dad" issue is a little touchy for me. Or maybe both. I actually completely forgot about this whole card thing and forgot to mention it to my bf earlier. If i remember tonight when he gets off work, i'll ask him.