It's happened to me :-(

[Ohso]

You'll have to firgive me if this post seems to be all over the place, it's not every day the love of your life decides to leave you and I'm a bit messed up right now.

 

My boyfriend told me last wednesday that he thought it would be better for the both of us if we split up, he said he cared for me a great deal but no longer loved me. For me this was a total shock, although I had noticed a bit of distance between us for the past two weeks or so I didn't think for a second it was leading to this. As I said he was his usual caring and loving self until very recently so I had no real indication of a problem that could cause such a drastic change in our relationship.

 

I find myself having problems coming to terms that things are really over. Six years is a long time to be together and I have to say I still love this guy with all my heart. That things can go from being so good to being so bad in such a short amount of time is hard to accept. What's even harder to understand is he's not willing to try and work things out.

 

I'm now wondering if there's someone else he's not telling me about. Although he swears there's no one else involved I can't help but think there's more going on here. I keep wondering if he's ended it with me so he can start up something with some else with a clear concience so to speek...

 

I'm totally alone here peeps, I moved a long way from home to be with this guy and find myself with no one to turn to. It's quite sad really but most of the people I thought of as friends haven't called or even sent a simple text to ask if I'm ok. The reason being most of them are his friends or family too and so have rallied around him. To make things even more difficult neither of us can afford to move out as we're both on low incomes and the rent alone for a 1 bedroom flat would take most of one persons wages. We've moved into separate rooms but it's painful to see him acting like it's life as usual and going out with friends while I sit at home wondering what the hell has happened.

 

I didin't come here expecting answers or some miracle way of fixing everything, I guess I just want to be told everything will be ok and the pain will go away eventually.

[alteer]

Welcome Ohso

 

I can't offer you much as I'm going through a very painful breakup myself. But this is a very supportive online community and I've found a lot of comfort, support and advice from everyone here.

 

I just wanted to let you know that your not alone, plenty of us here know what your going through.

 

Take care (((hugs)))

[shamus]

you are not alone...

my ex broke my heart

we were ok, but then she started making new friends and became distant. things happen. i was my ex's only friend, and as soon as something better came along, i was out the door.

 

no relationship is perfect, but the true test is how you handle adversity...your ex didnt want to work things out. its been a few months for me, and the pain and betrayal are still there. however i am realizing i want someone who will stand by me not run when things get tough or something else comes along.

 

these forums are great.

ive posted many times here just venting. thats what we are here for, not judgements, just support. be true to yourself.

you will hear that things will get better in time. i still hurt, but it isnt as bad. its now more a sadness at the loss of someone i considered my best friend rather than losing a lover.

 

you do have a long road ahead of you. please dont be a stranger here. we are all here for you

[mikeca]

Ya..its hard to see the future when your crushed by something thats now "your past" but you'll be ok..its been 6weeks nc for me and ive come along way, and I look forward to hearing about you healing. Were all here to listen for you.

[jimmy shepherdson]

If He Loves You Hell Want You Back Sooner Than You Can Say Alacasame

[daredevil]

Which then already would've happened if he wanted her back.

 

I'm so sad to hear that you're experiencin this right now. I know it's going to be a hard and tough way out of the mess and will eventually perhaps take long time, but be strong try to go to new social activities even though u don't know people. You need to get going instead of sitting home girl, so we can get your thoughts on anything else but this. But I know it can be difficult, but you have to try..

[eleanorrigby1]

Usually when someone sits you down and tells you that they think you should split up because they dont love you, this has taken them a lot of courage and a lot of thought. As hard as it is to hear it, its hard for them to say it and I think the reason why he doesnt want to 'try and work things out' is because he has probably taken a long time to come to this decision and unfortunately he has made up his mind.

 

He may realise it was a mistake, he may not. Whether there is anyone else involved shouldnt matter, the fact is he told you he didnt love you, either way its over.

 

I always say that the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life was having my heart broken. I was shocked when the guy I loved with all my heart told me he wasnt inlove with me but had tried and liked me as a person, but.... and he had a new girlfriend within days.

 

I didnt think I would get over it and some of the rejection that affected my self esteem sticks around but that was 2.5 years ago and I have someone new now that I love even more.

 

You never know what the future holds. This time feels bleak and painful now and lonely, but it will pass, in time.