dnb007 Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 Heres the situation... my friend, who is a girl doesnt seem to realize how dangerous it is not to use protection. She just turned 16 and I just found out she had unprotected sex. This isnt the bad part...get this....with a 19 year old guy she met over the internet! I dont know what she was thinking...she doesnt even know him, didnt use to talk to him except to ask for sex, doesnt talk to him anymore. Now I'm telling her to use condoms or some sort of protection but she doesnt seem to care and I've tol dher all the consiquences and stuff but I dont know if its going through her head. The last time she had unprotected sex was around 3 weeks ago and she hasnt had her period yet. I'm kind of worried, what can I tell her to convince her to use protection? I already told her if she wanted to do it then I'll give her some condoms but I dont know if it will work because the guy she had sex with had condoms but didnt decide to use them. Link to comment
avman Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 You can't force her to do anything. All you can do is offer your support and that's it. You cannot make her use protection. I know it is very frustrating but this may be something where she'll have to learn her lesson the hard way. Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 unfortunately, there's a lot you can tell her that you already haven't. It's up to her to listen now. If she decides not to...well, too bad for the baby she brings into the world. Or too bad for her when she contracts some std.... Link to comment
dnb007 Posted June 5, 2006 Author Share Posted June 5, 2006 Well, I'm going to try to convince her to go to a Teen Health Clinic that I have been to before so we can get her some birth control. The only hard part is convincing her to go. Link to comment
Tigris Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 I hope you can persuade her. Good luck Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 I hope so too dnb - but don't lose any sleep over what you can not control about someone else's behaviour... Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 You should try and dig something up, a shocking picture or story of how an unplanned pregnancy or STD changes one's life... I started dipping about 10 years ago. I went to the dentist for a cleaning and a check-up and he showed me this picture of a guy who had dipped for years and now had no lower gum, lip, and half his jaw was rotted away...I promptly kicked that little habit... Link to comment
patch2006uk Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 i had a friend who was doing this a couple of years ago. i tried to talk to her about it, but she didn't want to know. there really is nothing you can do to convince her that protection is important. she'll discover it herself eventually - my friend is now on the pill thankfully - but all you can do is be patient, and try to support her through things that may happen as a result of her being careless about her sexual health. it's frustrating while it's going on, but your friend will appreciate your concern some day Link to comment
RayKay Posted June 5, 2006 Share Posted June 5, 2006 Unfortunately you can't force her to do anything, a lot of people have a "it can't happen to me attitude". Even if you show them the statistics. For example, 80% of women will have HPV by the time they are 50. HPV can cause cervical cancer among other things. However, it usually shows NO symptoms. Chlamydia, and gonorrhea also usually do not show symptoms (90% of people don't show them) yet are highly contagious, and can cause infection and infertility. You can't tell a HIV-carrying person by just looking at them. And you can't play the "birth control lottery" either and assume it will work in your favour. All you can do is tell her how concerned you are for her health, and hope she learns BEFORE she contracts an STI. Or, gets pregnant. It is indeed VERY scary when someone risks their body this way. I really don't think if she was truly prepared for sex she would be doing so. Which shows me she may be using it as a way to look for love in all the wrong places. I do recommend if she is late for her period she take a pregnancy test ASAP though. Link to comment
dnb007 Posted June 9, 2006 Author Share Posted June 9, 2006 OMG!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL! I JUST FOUND OUT SHE HAD UNPROTECTED SEX WITH ANOTHER 19 YR OLD GUY SHE MET OFF THE INTERNET TODAY! I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE THE WAY SHES ACTING, ITS JUST ASKING TO GET PREGNANT. I really dont know what to do now, I"m going to have an anxiety attack or something. Link to comment
avman Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 You having an anxiety attack will not help her. She is making these decisions for herself and thus will have to accept the consequences of her actions. Like we've said, all you can do is try to talk to her. Ultimately she will make her own decisions. Link to comment
socks1w Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 If she does not want to use protection and she doesnt care about herself.Then try ur best to convence her.If she disagrees let her do it her way,She will learn in the end. Link to comment
southerngirl Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 I'd be more worried about getting a sexually transmitted desease.. My mother had a friend who died of aids. He died 7 years after discovering he was hiv positive. He had been hiv positive already for years before he knew. Who knows how many people he may have gave it to before he went abstinant after finding out.. I also know someone who has Hepititis C. Well, they got it through sex. By the time he found out he had it his wife also had it. They had already been together a few years... This is a sickness that attacks their immune system similar to HIV but in a different way. Eventually this will probally kill them if another disease doesnt take them first because of a weakened immune system. Although I know no one personally who has this I have heard alot about genital warts.... This is another thing that is not curable.... These are only 3 of the possible things one can get from having unprotected sex. Pregnancy really isnt as bad as half of them. I do hope that your friend listens up before her trainwrecks in a horrible way. Link to comment
InaneCathode Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 Thats gonna suck when she gets pregnant. Some people wont take advice, they have to learn the hard way. Doesnt matter in her case in the end i suppose. Afterall, 19 year old guys off the internet probably dont like having sex with pregnant chicks. Link to comment
ComputerGuy Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Wow, she really does sound immature...I dont even know her and I want to grab her, shake her and say "YOU'RE ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT". I think the best thing you can do is, as everyone else has said, try and get through to her but ultimately it IS up to her. All you can do is be there if/when it hits the fan. Link to comment
dnb007 Posted July 15, 2006 Author Share Posted July 15, 2006 Time for an update. Unfortunately, she has continued in having unprotected sex with people but this one is with her bf of around 1 month. A few weeks after they had unprotected sex, her bf got concerned and took her to a doctor and it just so happened that she missed her period a few days before and tests found that she is pregnant. Well, I guess she has to learn the hard way that this isnt all a game but thankfully, her bf has not left her for that reason and is appearing to help her out thoughout this whole ordeal Link to comment
RayKay Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Well, I can't say it is a surprise as it was bound to happen sooner or later. Too bad he only got concerned AFTER he had unprotected sex with her....while it's good he is sticking around, the ultimate thing is they have been together a very short while, and it still remains to be seen what happens there. Has she decided what she is going to do with the pregnancy? I just hope she does not also have any STI's - was she tested? Link to comment
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