Should I be upset?

[PutYourBackIntoIt]

Ok so I've been seeing this guy and things have been alright. I just got into the Real Estate business, and my first ad with my picture was printed in the paper today. I told my bf last night it was going to be in the paper. So today he calls me after I do an open house and he goes "You should change that picture." I said "What? Why?" And he replies "I dunno, your hair looks puffy or something." I had to hold back the tears. I was so mad so I called him an A-hole. He goes "What you told me the other day you didn't like the pic!" True, it's not my best, and I'm a very attractive girl and the pic does me no justice, but I don't mind it. Like I said, it's not my best. Nothing else transpired during the conversation, and I think this is the only reason he called me. To tell me I looked ugly. I can't stop crying about this whole thing. Twenty minutes later he calls and says "Oh yea I forgot, I found the back to one of your earings in my car." Yea so what I have millions. He asks if I want it back and I say "No, I have others." And he goes "Ok I guess I'll talk to you later." I tried not to scream at him and tell him how much I wanted him to die. I was nice, but now I can't stop crying. Am I overreacting??

[teacup]

That doesn't sound all that bad. But you have to ask urself why you're really upset. Is it because he didn't show enough care about your feelings? Or is it because you felt insecure?

[PutYourBackIntoIt]

It's just how he said it. That's the first thing that came out of his mouth after I said "Hey what's up". It was the only reason he called. He had nothing else to say. And then he called 20 minutes later to say he forgot to tell me about my earing. Jerk.

[teacup]

He certainly doesn't understand women. I bet he is sitting home very confused.

[DN]

He did not say you were ugly. He said you hair looked puffy. Seems to me he was trying to help albeit not very tactfully.

 

One time my wife and I were going out with some friends. She asked if the coat she had looked ok with her outfit. I said it did not and one of our friends said "Uh oh, that was a mistake!"

 

My wife said "Oh, no. He gives his opinion and that's what I need. I know he's looking out for me. Who needs someone to say you look great when you don't."

[itsallgrand]

Yeah, he didn't say you look ugly. Men can be out-to-lunch on how they go about saying things sometimes. So can women, yes?!

 

Has this been building up? Hey, I do understand why you may have been upset. You worked hard to get that Pic in the paper: it was like a milestone for you.

Like a visible sign of how far you have come in the business you are trying to suceed in.

So, I can understand if you were hoping for something more supportive or celebratory from him. Something that got accross "I'm proud of you. You done good. Congrats, hun.".....

 

Once you simmer down, let him know why you are upset and what you need specifically. Sometimes men need to be told very clearly where they are messing up.

 

take care

[Jennster]

From what I've learned about guys - don't take everything they do or say so personally. Yeah he was commenting on your hair...but if you had said you didn't like the picture to him, you were probably wanting him to reassure you. Some guys don't realize girls work this way...my BF and I had this conversation before - I told him it's nice to be reassured once in a while and he just always assumed I knew that he found me very attractive. I say give him a second chance but explain to him why it upset you so much.

[HardShowingAffection]

Guys have a tendency to be honest... sometime too honest. I would not take it personally. He was probably not trying to put you down. Most guys say what is on their mind, plain and simple.

 

Your reaction reminds me of a book I just read. It is called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Riuz. Read it! It seems like you are violating two of the agreements that will bring you total happiness.

 

The first being "Never take anything personally", and the second "Never make assumptions". Read that book, it is great, and it will change your perception on alot of things! It is an easy read, and will probably take you two nights, but it is AWESOME!