How do i start feeling good about myself??

[xcountryprincess]

So if i honestly look at my life right now things are going pretty well. Yes my grades have slipped slightly but i can pull the up. But i ran for ASB Vice president aginst SIX other people and won. I tried out for cheerleading at this all guys school and made the varsity squad. i've even applied for this summer program at USC and got in. I've stepped so far out of my comfort zone to go after these things that i used to feel i wasn't worth, or i wouldn't be good enough, or couldn't make it so why even bother.

 

What i don't understand is why i don't FEEL like i've accompished anything, i don't exactly feel anymore confident, or like i honestly acomplished anything. It's been like that for the past three years with grades, i've always gotten A's but it never felt like it ment anything to me. I'll see the other kids who get straight A's and be like ooh wow, you're smart even though i'm getting the same grades i don't feel i'm anywhere near they're level of intelligence.

 

I don't know it seems like i'm unable to actually tell myself, "wow, good job." I used to think it was just that i wasn't going after spectacular things, but now that i have put myself out there and i've got what i aimed for i don't feel any different. i don't feel accomplished or anymore confident.

 

It's really starting to eat at me, i'm amazingly good at critisizing myself but i literally cannot feel any sense of praise even from others. it just doesn't sink in, just rolls right off my back. I know that i shouldn't base my confidence/self esteem on how i look so i've gone after things that could potentially raise my confidence but it's just not working, i feel like exactly the same person.

 

I want to feel confident, i remember looking at the kids who were on ASB and thinking omg, WOW they're so amazing, or looking at my friends who cheer and seeing how it transformed them into really confident social people (though at first i scoffed at the idea of cheerleading). I just don't get it, it all seems so amazing so accomplished when someone else does it but if i'm able to do it, i don't feel like it's any big deal and i'm at the point where i don't know what to do.

 

Why won't any of these accomplishements sink in? Why don't these pretty major accomplishments raise my confidence/self esteem? What will it take for me to be able to walk down a hall and be like "yeah i get straight A's, and i'm on ASB, and i'm a cheer leader, beat that!"

[Beyondthesea]

One of the sad realizations of life is that it doesn't matter how many trophies are on the wall if you don't feel the accomplishment in your soul.

 

I think you are looking to be 'ultimately happy' which pretty much never happens. Everyday we face all sorts of challenges that make us feel inadequate, and sometimes we beat them and sometimes not. It seems may focus too much on the 'not.'

 

You have to learn to be happy with who you are, and then be proud of your accomplishments. Accomplishments don't equal who you are. They are 'add ons' of who you are, because if you weren't smart, talented, etc you wouldn't have received those things, right?

 

Learn to be happy with who you are It's easier said than done!

[nicorette]

i know how you feel. i got a scholarship to the university of british columbia, youd think id be ecstatic right? maybe for a few hours. it seems liek whenever soemthing good happens to me, it lasts for a short period of time, then i end up getting sad or mad about something.

 

just think about everything youve achieved. also, think about all your great attributes that helped you achieve those goals. and now make more goals, and just take it day by day. think about everything in life that you have going for you that others arent as fortunate to have.

[renthead]

If you thought you would and could accomplish all those things, then of course you're not going to feel good about yourself. But if you had a doubts, then you should feel like "wow I can't believe I actually did it." Too much confidence isn't good, though, but you should just feel proud of yourself. If you're used to winning things, then you wouldn't feel any different winning ASB president and getting into USC.

[talo]

One of the sad realizations of life is that it doesn't matter how many trophies are on the wall if you don't feel the accomplishment in your soul.

 

I think you are looking to be 'ultimately happy' which pretty much never happens. Everyday we face all sorts of challenges that make us feel inadequate, and sometimes we beat them and sometimes not. It seems may focus too much on the 'not.'

 

You have to learn to be happy with who you are, and then be proud of your accomplishments. Accomplishments don't equal who you are. They are 'add ons' of who you are, because if you weren't smart, talented, etc you wouldn't have received those things, right?

 

Learn to be happy with who you are It's easier said than done!

Thank you for your thought-provoking post Beyondthesea.

 

Are you advocating learning to be happy with who one is or, feeling accomplishment?

 

What greater accomplishment is there than being/feeling happy with who one is?

 

Is being happy with who one is an accomplishment, or the starting point?

[OneConfusedGuy]

I've come this far so where do I go from here? I ask myself this every day and feel like I'm the same person every day. It's hard, I can share this frustration because I'm lost in this world too. The only thing that I can make sense of what I am doing so far is....

 

Love yourself and you will be loved.