Wanting to get back together with ex . need advice

[blue22]

About three and a half months ago my girlfriend of two years (and 3 months) and I decided to take a 'break' from our relationship. We had had some minor issues, mostly miscommunication, so we sat down and had a talk. We agreed that we would take a 'break'. We also agreed that we could date other people during the 'break' if we wanted, just to see what would happen. She called me up 4 weeks into the break telling me that she had been on a few dates and she realized that is not what she wants. What she wants is me, and she would just concentrate on school until I figure things out. I dated a couple of times over the next several weeks only to realize that is not what I want. I realized what she means to me and how much I love her and decide that I want to end the 'break' and resume our relationship. She now tells me that she has been seeing someone for the past 5 weeks and is very happy. She told me that I broke her heart by not ending the 'break' sooner and that she is very,very hurt. She said that this new guy is 'safe' and that she doesn't want to open herself up to possibly being hurt by me again. I realize that I may have hurt her badly, and yes, even broken her heart, but how does a Woman go from adoring me, loving me more than anything in the world, looking at engagement rings 6 months ago thinking that we were well on our way to being married, to telling me that she met another guy 5 weeks ago and that she doesn't want to get back together? I really love her, want to marry her, but need to figure out how to resolve this thing. Any advice?

[RayKay]

I realize that I may have hurt her badly, and yes, even broken her heart, but how does a Woman go from adoring me, loving me more than anything in the world, looking at engagement rings 6 months ago thinking that we were well on our way to being married, to telling me that she met another guy 5 weeks ago and that she doesn't want to get back together?

 

I know it seems "impossible" but it really isn't. When you did not show you wanted her back, she lost that security and trust, and started to focus on moving on with her life. Basically she probably feels a bit of trust was lost, as well as the foundational strength of the relationship.

 

Your broke up almost 4 months ago, and things change a lot in that span of time. Looks like she knew in a month that she wanted to reconcile, but you took several more weeks, which was several weeks she spent moving forward, and not waiting around.

 

Sorry, but this is a risk that is taken when people go on a "break".

 

I am curious as to how you went from looking at rings and planning on marriage to breaking up within a couple months???

 

As to what can you do, well, you have to respect her space. Tell her you messed up, but you respect she has to make the right decision for her. You can't force her to come back, she will only do it on her own volition.

[NiceGuysFinishLast]

Dude, I feel for you big time, I am in a slightly similar situation myself. If I was you I wouldnt give up on her and try anything to get her back. Can you forgive her for seeing someone else? If you get back together will the thoughts of your beloved gf with someone else taint the relationship? Im not in any position to give advice considering my situation, but just think about that. If you believe you can, and think hard about it, you have to truly forgive her and never throw it back in her face, then follow your heart. Best of luck mate. Keep us posted

[joyce1412]

i say you're allowed to let her know how you feel, but once you let her know, step back. let her live her life. if you keep disrupting, you're going to seem manipulative and selfish, especially since she has a new guy now--she's going to think "oh, he just wants what he can't have." so make your feelings known--and MAKE THEM KNOWN, say everything you need to say, because it sounds like she needs to feel more secure about how you feel about her--and then let her know you will leave her alone to make her own decisions. you will appear gracious and she will see that you're acting in a way that's best for her and not best for you.

[BONO]

Please read "The Perfect Plan" & " The Perfect Plan mach II" - by Majord23. Let me (us) know what you think.

 

 

 

Scruff