I am a girl and have shyness problems!!

[Budman]

Sorry, anyway, to your question.

 

where are you wanting to meet these guys?

 

Anyway, I know some of the moves.

 

Casually bump into them, smile and say, "I'm sorry." and smile that come get me smile.

 

If they are looking at something you know a lil about, walk up and say, "I loved that book, I'd really recommend it."

 

If you want up and just say, "Hi" to a guy. A lot of the time they will prolly take that as (Come get me sweet thang) and go into that. (not all the time but hey).

 

Personally if a girl bumped into me, said sorry, and smiled and winked. I'd prolly faint.

 

*smelling sauce aisle 5*

 

I'll think of some more ways.

[charley]

Each time you see someone you're attracted to, walk up and say "Hi". Do this wherever you are (assuming it's a safe environment). For example, do this in grocery store, at work, in church, at school, on a safe city street. For example: Do NOT do this at night on the street because that might not be safe.

 

Saying "Hi" works to reduce your shyness with practice. Some of the men you meet will be friendly and may even have a conversation with you. Some may even be attracted to you.

 

Others will be rude or indifferent. Who cares? In these cases, just walk away without saying anything. Don't ever apologize for saying "Hi".

 

This technique does work for reducing shyness and for meeting people whom you're attracted to. It's all about practice. You'll have to force yourself at first, but it gets easier. Eventually (maybe after a month or two) it gets easy and you'll no longer be shy to start a conversation with an attractive person (attractive to you).

 

The next step is having a conversation. Ask the questions you need to know, but perhaps not in the first conversation. Save those questions for perhaps the second conversation. Are you single? Etc.

 

The next step is asking someone out. I'm still struggling with that myself, but each step can be learned with practice and gets easier with practice.

 

You just need the courage to practice one step at a time. Hang in there.

 

I think face to face meeting people would be much safer for you than online. The online thing scares me much more than face to face.

 

P.S. - as a general rule men are much kinder, gentler, and more considerate with age. I suggest you practice the "Hi" method on men who are from 25 to 31. Those men are close enough to your age, yet they will usually be more outgoing and much kinder to you than younger guys. Also, if you're wondering, yes most of them will be attracted to a 21 young woman. Perhaps extra attracted. So you'd have that in your favor too.

 

Younger guys (under 25) are often mean, immature, and inconsiderate. So I think a bit older guy would be nicer to you and better for you.

[charley]

I'd also suggest you go to each local church once. Then pick the friendliest and join it. That's a safe way to make a bunch of new friends and meet elibable men to.

 

I wouldn't normally say that, but you said you have no friends. I'm shy myself with women in regard to dating, but I have friends and do OK that way.

 

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation, but I think a local church would be an excellent way to gain friends and people who care about you and would be a support group. That's more important than meeting a man.

 

I think you should concentrate on making friends and gaining a support group first. Worry about romance after that. Church is a good and fast way to accomplish all these things, possibly including the romance too.

 

My shy cousins are all more shy than me. All of them had no problems meeting their spouses in church. So this does work.

 

It's clear to me that there are people online who care about you. I see that in reading other posts. However, you need good people in your community who care about you. Church is the fastest, safest, and easiest way to find that.

 

While in church, remember to say "Hi" to people, except here it's everyone, just the attractive ones.

[charley]

Look for a wedding ring when you talk to them. You will be talking to them since you're going to start saying "Hi". Right?

 

If they have one, then you don't need to ask if they're single.

 

If they do NOT have one, then you should ask, but don't ask right away. Save that question for a few minutes into the conversation or for the next conversation.

 

However, I think you should work on making friends first. Friends are more important than boyfriends.

 

As for additional advice for the other questions you asked: I don't know. I not an expert. I told you all I know. I don't know the answers to your other questions because I'm shy myself. I think at some point after you've talked small talk for at least 5 minutes, you need to just ask the questions on your mind. There are others with more experience who might better answer those questions.