Me Vs. My Fiancee and His Dog

[IndyMeow13]

My fiancee and I have been living together for a year now, and shortly after moving in together he bought a dog (I already had one). Now, I love animals; I myself have several- but the one thing I pushed was that if he was going to get a dog that he had to train it. Period. I'm only anal about this b/c I put my dog through multiple training classes along with getting him approved as a therapy dog- so needless to say, he's very laid back and well trained- including towards my fiancee.

 

My fiancee's dog on the other hand is problem that just keeps growing. My fiancee spent months before he actually potty trained the dog, and that was after I went out myself and bought a crate and told him it was me or the poop.

 

AFter several more months of a 60 lb dog bouncing off the walls along with multiple behavior issues- I paid for a training class for the dog and told my fiancee once again- the deal was he had to train the dog to at least be tolerable to be aorund.

 

This dog is one of the sweetest dogs ever- but he's dumb as dirt and manages to get away with murder (a year later still craps all over the floor or jumps on guests- even lunges at strangers and bares his teeth).

 

I've gotten down to my last nerve- I love my fiancee and we were best friends for years before we got engaged- but I absolutely cannot imagine living with this dog for the rest of my life. Being an animal person though, I would never expect him to get rid of him.

 

SO the question is- what do I do? DO I not marry him b/c I despise his dog? Do I insist that the dog gets sent off to full time training after marriage until he can behave?

 

My fiancee insists the dog is fine- and that when he jumps on people he's just happy to see them, or when he lunges at people that he's just being protective....but a LOT of people, strangers and family/friends included can't stand any of it. I've had friends stop coming over b/c of the dog. I've had neighbors yell at me b/c the dog scared them.

 

Being that my fiancee refuses to acknowedge the dog's bad behavior- what do I do? If I know I can't live with this dog behaving the way he does, do I just give up on the relationship?

[tylercdurden2004]

How does your fiances laissez faire attitude towards dog training translate into his attitude towards raising children? Sounds like he is unable to put his foot downa nd be consistent.

[IndyMeow13]

It's funny you mention that- I brought up that point this morning. I asked him how he planned to raise kids if he couldn't get his dog to behave; I told him it concerned me that he was so flippant about the dog. His response was that he'd never owned a dog and he was learning as he went. My response to that was- but you've never had kids either- are they going to be disasters like the dog? He's currently not talking to me...hence the finally posting the question of what to do!

[tylercdurden2004]

It's funny you mention that- I brought up that point this morning. I asked him how he planned to raise kids if he couldn't get his dog to behave; I told him it concerned me that he was so flippant about the dog. His response was that he'd never owned a dog and he was learning as he went. My response to that was- but you've never had kids either- are they going to be disasters like the dog? He's currently not talking to me...hence the finally posting the question of what to do!

 

Well maybe it will be a good learning experience with the dog and he will see the things he has to do with children. Operant conditioning, thats is behavioural modification is the same for dogs as it is for people to a large degree. I have one friend who was raised by hippies who didnt set boundaries with her when she was young. She is all over the shop. Very smart well educated, travelled etc but when it comes to relationships and friendships she can be trying at times. Setting boundaries is very important in raising kids. They need structure although I would argue not too much.

[agent1607307371]

My fiancee insists the dog is fine- and that when he jumps on people he's just happy to see them, or when he lunges at people that he's just being protective....but a LOT of people, strangers and family/friends included can't stand any of it. I've had friends stop coming over b/c of the dog. I've had neighbors yell at me b/c the dog scared them.

 

 

What are the laws concerning dangerous animals where you are? Here in the UK if my dog jumped at a stranger I would seriously run the risk of having the dog taken off me and put down.

 

And you should not be being put in an awkward/dangerous situation because your bf won't train his dog.

 

Sit down with your bf and spell out in no uncertain terms your feelings about the dogs behavior and his attitude to it.

[Blue Skittles]

Why won't he bring his dog to the trainer? If he doesn't want to train him himself then he should get the trainer to do it. Tell him his dog has to be trained or you cannot live with him.

[BellaDonna]

I agree with the others.

 

I just wanted to add: Your fiance not only needs to be willing to have the dog trained, but also needs to be willing to re-inforce (at home)whatever techniques the trainer uses in order for the training to be effective.

 

Dogs are pack animals, and actually enjoy some level of structure and dominance. The dog would probably be happier if he was properly trained.

 

BellaDonna