Please help me

[Casket]

Its a long story, bear with me...

 

Im 17 years old and i have been through alot with my family. I live with my dad, mum and sister.

 

4 or so months ago, my mum sat me and my sister down and told us that she asked dad to move out for a while. She said that things just werent going well and she wanted to be alone for a while, we understood and left that night to let her be alone. Dad moved into his mums house and for about 1-2 weeks he would drive to the house and walk to the station to goto work. About 3 days after he left i stumbled upon a chat log on my mums computer. It was very graphic and it was to another man, very sexual.

 

At this time anger filled me and my sister and i made a plan to confront her and move out (and tell my dad). Well my sister didnt do it according to plan and she let it out while i was sleeping (i am the strong one who would have confronted her). My mum said that she didnt know why she did it and she would never cheat on my dad. I had a good talk with her and she promised she would never do it again. She turned to drinking after this and locked herself constantly in her room. She was ALWAYS on the internet.

 

Dad moved back in.... kinda. He told my mum that the doctor said that if he didnt move back in he could die. Mum got angry and let him move back in, he moved into the shed. He was in the shed about 3 weeks and then he moved into the lounge room where he has been sleeping ever since.

 

My mum is still constantly on the internet but it hasnt been as bad, she has been out of her room. Lately though, she quit her job. Ever since she has just been at home constantly on the internet. Dad still sleeps on the lounge. For the record, the guy she was talking to and "fantasising over" lives in america and supposidlivly is her old friends husband.

 

So i was playing a game tonight and it was extremly laggy. Mum was in her room with her laptop. Her room is basically locked (has things pressed behind it so you just cant open the door and walk in). I asked her if she was downloading anything and she said no, she was playing an online card game. I said ok and walked out. I tried playing again, and (this time annoyed) went into her room to make sure she wasnt. She was using my sisters laptop as her one was screwed and i wanted to make sure my sister hadnt set anything to download. So i go in and ask, she again denies it. I look at her computer and i see a guys face, and her on the screen. She was webcamming with another guy.

 

Im sick of pretending everythings ok, and im sure the guy she is talking to is the same guy she was talking to extremly sexually before. I rang my sister (who barely comes home anymore because she hates whats happening to this family) and i am going to install a keylogger on her computer to capture the key strokes.

 

Im looking for advice on what i should do.

 

Im extremly angry and upset right now so im sure ive left ALOT of details out. Please simply ask questions and i will anwser them.

 

Thank you

[RandomAdvisor]

The first thing you have to understand is that none of this is your fault. This might sound like it goes without saying, but speaking from experience all too often children in these situations feel that it is their fault. I know I did when my parents argued all the time. Your parents are responsible for their own actions and their own happiness.

 

As much as this situation directly affects you, it's unfortunate but I don't see much that you can do to change things directly. You can tell your mother what she is doing is wrong and ask her to stop until you are blue in the face, but if she doesn't want to stop - she's not going to stop.

 

Glad you said you are willing to answer questions, I have a few.

 

What reason did your mother give for why your father would be leaving? I find it strange that he is the one who has to be leaving if she is the only one who's cheating.

 

Have you spoken to your father about what is happening between him and your mother at all? What has he said?

[Casket]

@someguy: Yes she did give me a reason, its because of the lack of intimate contact and lack of sex life lately, which im sure everyones going to see fits into this situation.

 

You all have to understand that i have been the one keeping this family together. I had to tell my own dad not to come home anymore (when he was driving the car here and walking). Im the one who had to confiscate alcohol out of my mums hands while she was crying and begging for it back. Im the one who had to take a cocked knife out of her bedside drawer infront of her, and lock both it and all the alcohol away.

 

My mum was a constant mess (crying 24/7), my dad was even worse (as i said, doctor said he could die) and my sister was about to have a break down and moved out. The only person that i couldnt worry about was myself, and thats just the way it is. I am very much appart of this situation and if i dont do anything, this will just keep on going on and on. She will not be caught, my dad lacks any technical expertise with computers to do so (i study them at college) and is pretty much wrapped around her finger.

 

This is cheating, and it goes against EVERYTHING that i stand for. The moment this happened i was put in a position that i did not want to be in, but by god im going to do it. I will find out whats happening, as i will not have this happening under the roof i live under.

 

Im sorry if i sound ignorant or up myself, as i am really scared at the moment. But i will not let this happen to my father. Im sick of sitting here pretending everythings alright. Its cheating, and he deserves to know... and he will.

[RandomAdvisor]

I don't disagree with telling your dad. I think he has a right to know. But once he does know, the ball is in his court.