Living together 2 years...best way out?

[buckster]

Been living with the GF for 2 years now, but I learned enough by now to know that it won't last forever. Actually, I knew this a year ago and tried to break up but it didn't go very well. I was going to live in another room in the house until she found a new roommate help out with the mortgage.

 

Unfortunately, she didn't handle it well mentally and wanted to kill herself. So, I got suckered back into "working it out". Well, now I know if I don't do it today we'll end up getting married and eventually divorced.

 

So how do I do it? I'm thinking of using the bandaid technique..RIP IT OFF! Specifically, loading up all my crap into the Uhaul while she is at work. That way when she comes home I can drop the hammer, give her my reasons and explanations...then drive off into the sunset. I'll also have to call her family and warn them, just in case she wants to kill herself again. Oh..and I planned on giving her 2 months of rent/bills too..

 

That sounds really harsh, but I just don't want to live under the same roof with all that hatred and uncomfortableness again.

[annie24]

welcome to eNotalone.

 

I am sorry for your situation. I know it is hard, but if you really feel she isn't "The One" for you, then it is best to break it off. I agree with your method. Tell her friends and family, let them know that you broke up and that she could use some support. And 2 months rent/bills is good.

 

but didn't you say "mortgage?" Did you two buy the house together, or is it just hers?

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I can tell you, I did the bandaid technique you described once (except I was gone when he came home), and it worked out pretty well for me. I think it kinda sucked for him...

 

Of course mine wasn't suicidal to my knowledge. I think calling and warning her family of her suicidal tendencies might be a very good plan. You can't live forever where you don't want to be, but obviously it would be best if you could end the relationship with out her killing herself. Give her family some of the responisibility.

[DN]

It does seem harsh but I can't imagine that packing and loading a truck after telling her would be a good idea.

 

Be as gentle as you can but as firm as you need to be.

[annie24]

yeah, I do agree with DN. Packing before hand sounds very harsh. But then again, having a screaming woman crying while you are trying to pack your books doesn't sound like a good situation either

[BONO]

You seem 100% sure, which is a good thing.

 

Question though. I take it ( just by posting here) you *perhaps* dont want to hurt her ??

 

I'm I wrong mate ?

 

If so, why ?

 

 

Scruff

[ReadyorNot]

I would have to agree that as harsh as it is, the best thing would be to pack up while she is at work...

[RayKay]

I think this is an acceptable way to do it - you are certainly not the only one whom has done it.

 

At least you are going to tell her after! I know someone whom came home one day to find his gf had packed, left and not even left a note! She moved out to some other guys place.....

 

Anyway, I think you are doing the right thing. You should not stay with someone out of pity or because they manipulate you (which she was by saying she would kill herself). You both deserve to be with partners you want to be with, and ones that want you back too!

[alteer]

I agree with what everyone else has said about your situation.

 

Staying with someone out of pity is not fair on you or her. I would hate for someone to stay with me for that reason. She will come to see this eventually.

 

And I had an ex once who said he would kill himself if I left. It was a manipulative tactic. I still left.....and he still lived.

[Slacker]

Oh..and I planned on giving her 2 months of rent/bills too..

'

Hell, wanna break up with me too?

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

'

Hell, wanna break up with me too?

 

Me, too, please?

[triggerfish1968]

I ended up marring my ex wife out of pity, took eight years to fall apart and that is not healthy to go through. Imagine coming home for dinner and she shows the marks on her wrist (because she had a bad day), pretty effective for a diet plan. In the end she self destructed, a bi polar person on drugs is pretty scary from what I hear (was after the divorce). You cant save the world but you can save yourself. If someone wishes to go my route, I can tell you the outcome will most likely be the same.