Anyone in an extremely-long distance relationship?

[YankeeGirl02]

I mean, either in separate countries, or the same country but very very far apart? How do you make it work? Or, if you were previously in one, what didn't work?

[Tigris]

Hi,

 

I live in England!

 

I talked to a woman on MSN for 8 months and then I went to Australia to stay with her for 2 weeks. I proposed to her last October and she said Yes, but I proposed again on bended knee and gave her a diamond ring in February.

 

Being apart is killing us but we love each other very much. I phone her everyday and we talk on MSN too. We're getting married (Civil Partnership Ceremony in England for same sex couples) as soon as we can.

 

We know it's going to take time to sort some of our individual debt problems out before we can be together. I don't want my debts to follow me to Australia when I emigrate to be with her permanently. We just have to be patient. I know that is very hard and we often end up crying on the phone to each other but at least we do it together.

[YankeeGirl02]

Well, first of all, congratulations on your engagement! That's so exciting.

 

I'm sorry that you have to be apart from her; that sounds really rough. Though I'm glad that eventually you'll be together, that's great. Pretty inspirational!

[RayKay]

A year into a past relationship, we became long distance for about 14 or so months as he went on exchange to Japan, Asia, Australia and then Europe (I am in Canada). It was definitely difficult, but we kept in touch via regular email, calls about once a week, and I also saved some money to go and meet up with him about halfway through for a few weeks.

 

It was not easy, but we were able to do well through it, and continued our relationship when he returned for almost three years, until he passed away suddenly.

 

In a later relationship, we were only 8-9 hours away, so it seemed like almost next door!

 

Anyway, LDR's have a good of a chance of close-distanre relationships do of working out. Both depend on open communication, trust, and support. Also, this is key, LDR's need to have some finite ending to them. People have a very hard time keeping an LDR going forever, and it should not be forever...you need that in person relationship too. And it is really important you meet them before doing an LDR thing forever too! You need to have a goal to be living near one another in the not-too-distant future (ie in two years when school is over to move to "so and so" for example) and regular in person visits really can help you keep going and remember why you are doing it

[sophie274]

My sister and her boyfriend have been in an LDR for a year in a half - she is in San Francisco and he is in France. No one expected them to survive the distance this long (they are quite young, 20 and 22, and don't have the opportunity to go visit each other very often, as tix are expensive), but sure enough they have and they are as crazy about each other as ever!

 

I know they talk on the internet (actually talking, not IMing) and they both have webcams, so it makes it a little more personal I guess. They also send each other a lot of care packages and e-mails. They've arranged to spend most of the past two summers together and wll be together for practically 3 months this summer as well.

[Q10]

I had a gf in another continent for 9 months, I visited her in summer but it didn't work out for me because I realised after I came back that I needed someone to hug more often.. And I couldn't do that with her..

[Tigris]

Yes it is difficult when you need a hug and the person is on the other side of the world, but if you love them enough you will wait for them and solve your problems so you can be together.

[syborg]

I live in UK. Had an LDR with girl from Philippines in 2004. Went to see her for 2 weeks in July. Came back, chated on YM almost EVERY day, even got her a visa to visit me in uk...but...it didn't work so I broke her heart for various complex reasons I won't go into.

 

Now met another Filipina. Will happily do the same again but this time, I'll do it right and NOT break hearts.

[monkey1]

Yup, bf is in the UK, and I'm in California. Been together 4 years and trying to sort out our finances so we can at least visit each other soon and figure out if we really want to be together.

[Confessoress]

After 4 years you still don't know if you really want to be together?

[jessicadon]

My fiance lives in England. We met about a year ago. Fell in love practically in our first conversation, and he proposed the first time he visited in october last year. We are still working on getting all the documentation together so he can move her legally. It's so hard, but at least we have been able to see eachother every 2-3 months. I don't know if anyone else feels like this, but he went paintballing the other day, and had an awesome time, and it bothered me. I was mad that he could have a really good time without me. I guess that was just being selfish. I think it's things like that, that bother me the most, I feel like I am missing out on having fun with him all the time, also it's nice to be able to hold the person you love. Hopefully he will be moved over by Christmas.

[monkey1]

After 4 years you still don't know if you really want to be together?

 

No, we do. We've just had issues with being able to be together or even visit. He had some immigration issues because his work visa expired and he was working in a low paid job at the time. He ended up decided to move back to the UK to get his finances back and at the same time I had just graduated college and had no money and working a temp job.

 

We haven't been able to really afford to go see each other and haven' seen each other in almost 2 years. It's insane, but we really love each other. I think once either of us gets enough money and has time, I'm gonna go out there for a week or so. Then we can see how we feel about each other and decide what to do from there.

[Keuro]

Yep... my bf is from the States and I'm from Spain, known him for a year and half online and then we met in real like a month ago for 3 weeks.

 

Now he's dealing with some stuff before he's ready for a serious commitment of this kind, I'm hoping to see him soon

[monkey1]

Yep... my bf is from the States and I'm from Spain, known him for a year and half online and then we met in real like a month ago for 3 weeks.

 

Now he's dealing with some stuff before he's ready for a serious commitment of this kind, I'm hoping to see him soon

 

What kind of "stuff" may i ask?

[Keuro]

What kind of "stuff" may i ask?

 

Looking for a better job, better economical situation, etc... he "wants to do it right", I understand his point of view and respect it, but I wanna be with him asap

[katbythebay]

DO you have something against beautiful white woman??

[katbythebay]

My sweetie lives in England I live in the States........but we dont get to talk as often as you and your girlfriend do.......

It has been over an yr since I have seen him...but he is worth the wait.,...there are many times I ache when it comes to missinh him..but I know when him and I are finally together again..it all be worth it...all the missing....and all the pain.

i believe it can work...I trust him..I love him unconditionally..........and I would do anything for him.

 

But i must say it does get lonely.....and at times I do cry often.

By the way..I have known him for like..2 yrs now...and we met on yahoo.

[waveform]

i've been in an ldr for almost 10 months now and it's killing me everyday. i'm in london, uk and she is in florida, usa. i visited her in october for 5 days, went back again at the end of april this year for 10 days which was amazing. but i miss her so much now, it gets harder each day. i'm glad we have email, messenger, skype and mobiles in which to communicate on a daily basis.

 

we both decided to get ourselves to another country and together we have decided on canada. i managed to get myself a visa and work permit for a year (which i have to leave the uk before decemeber 2006 to make use of), but my partner is still finding it hard to get a job. however, i'm getting closer to paying of debts before doing so.

 

i know that same-sex parterships are legal in canada, but i don't want to use that as a reason for us to get married. although i would like to propose to her when i visit in august, i'm quite scared of what she might say to that.

 

i just don't know what to do, living in such uncertainty, not knowing if she will find work to stay there, not knowing if i can stay there for more than a year, not knowing if she will say yes to marrying me..

 

 

[pastorelli]

..............

[dawesy38]

Yeah... My LDR is in France.. I'm in Canada... the Distance is approximately 4,400 miles (10,000km)

 

The last time she visited was Chistmas, I proposed to her, she sid "yes" and she's coming again in about a month.

[jumper71]

I am curious how people met their significant other. Was it through the internet? If so, how? I have used online dating sites and see how that works, but to get to know someone so far away, enough so that you get enganged is intriguing. My one experinece with a LDR was in college with a girl that moved away, it lasted for more than a few months and met its end. Since then I haven't even bothered to maintain a relationship with someone who was more than an hour or so away. But here I see someone from France, Spain, UK, Philippines, all meeting people and falling in love halfway around the globe and it is really encouraging that this type of love exists. There seems to be so much pessimism about true love, marriage, and the like (at least here in the US -maybe just the northeast) that the fact that this happens makes it special and is heartwarming.

[monkey1]

My boyfriend and I met online, through our blogs oddly enough. No dating sites, no message boards ... blogs. We still have our blogs today too.

[sarbet2]

My bf lives in California and i live in Toronto. We met playing an online video game. We have been "together" for over 4 years. i'll be moving next year to be with him finally. Ain't love grand!

[Managor]

We're getting married (Civil Partnership Ceremony in England for same sex couples) as soon as we can.

 

It's great to hear England has a working civil partnership ceremony for same sex couples, especially since John Howard (prime minister of Australia for those who are unfamiliar) just recently chose to override the civil union law in the ACT. The best of luck to you two