Broken - exposed <<< me

[neva_black_n_white]

Broken

 

The way you ignore me

But I try not to see

The way you look through me

So I try to change who I be

The way you don't talk

So I try so hard

The way you don't think

Yet you're the holder of these cards

It's the way that you touch me

And I wonder if it's the last

It's the way you lose care

And I just want to go back

It's the way you don't know me

And I try to expose myself to you

It's the way you don't realise

What I do to show I love you

It's the way I sit up at night

And tears fall from my eyes

It's the way I wait for you

And then get crushed by your lies

It's the way I have to perform

To get your attention

This relationship we hold

Is a one sided deprivation

It's the pain and distress

That I try to deny -

Knowing you don't love me

A technique to get by

 

14/5/06

1:28am

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Oh my gosh i feel for you. Reading that poem almost brought tears to my eyes because i have felt that way for so long. Except with one difference i don't have the relationship, so i think it must be worse for you. But i know how it feels to want to be loved and nothing more! So thankyou for expressing the way i feel!

[neva_black_n_white]

Thanks I guess. I didnt really want praise for this one. I guess when something is so raw that you do begin to feel exposed you no longer see poem as an art. This poem is just, i dont even think i have a word for it.

 

Broken sums it up to a degree.

It feel as though your entire body is being pulled apart but your trying to fight against the force and keep everything together.

 

Anyway. Thanks.

neva x

[autumn]

reminds me of a song by the "New Radicals" - called, "I hope I didn't just give away the ending." The song talks about just being with someone for not wanting to be along - kinda like when you say "A technique to get by."

 

Anyways, here's the lyrics if you're interested. I love the song by the way.

 

 

 

 

She wanted to be a nun

Until that fateful day we met

I beat the crucifix

in a game of Russian roulette

I burned my Beatles records

because she hated number nine

She licked rock cocaine sucker

Laughed, said her mom's doing mine

Well, are you an illusion, or am I just getting stoned?

Because I can't take it alone

I can't take it alone

I hope I didn't just give away the ending

We started limping,

caught the handicap shuttle to town

and yelled "God's healed us"

As we ran off the bus the driver just frowned

By the way this girl was sexy and she wouldn't touch you

This may not be true

but I said it so you'd feel involved with this song

Are you an illusion

or am I just getting stoned

Because I can't take it alone

I can't take it alone

I hope I didn't just give away the ending

We caught a fey taxi driver

I smiled the ride was free

I felt like Amsterdam

She wanted more drugs and maybe me

I told her dealer I was broke

He hired a camera man

We did a porno film for coke

I hear I'm big in Japan

Are you an illusion

Or am I just getting stoned

Because I can't take it alone

I can't take it alone

I hope I didn't just give away the ending

we went back to her kitchen

Put the coke all in a can

Tied up a T.V minister

In walked her dad

He started drinking coffee

Too much sugar on the go

He fell dead on the floor

He thought the coke was sweet'n'low

Well are you an illusion

or am I just getting stoned

Because I can't take it alone

I can't take it alone

I hope I didn't just give away the ending

Boy was she upset but then she stole her dad's wallet and

I drove him to the hospital

To sell all of his donatable body parts

And this is where she dies

They brought the depressed junkie in

She shot his Cyanide up

I guess she thought it was errol flynn

I'm blamed in the confusion

The police being phoned

I don't even love you

We weren't even friends

It's just that I can't take it alone

Uh, huh

I can't take it alone

I hope I didn't just give away the ending

(repeat 6 times)

Aw Jesus, Ah s***

I think I just gave away the ending

[blueangel]

I love your poems so much. They are not what you'd expect. They are just... truth of the heart. Subtle metaphors... and that's the beauty of it.

[neva_black_n_white]

smiles at autumn** i know what you mean smiles.

 

and thanks blueangel, i used to work with alot of metaphors but i guess ive toned my work down alot more now.. its got more emotion and obvious expression, before you could apply it to anything. i really appreciate what you said. hehe. thanks x