Flirting isn't cheating... but this guy is going way too far don't you think?

[Hunny1607307342]

There is a guy who I had a "thing" with (on and off hazy relationship) for a while. He has had a girlfriend for the past month. The other day, he asked me to go shopping with him, which I did. I assumed, he asked me 'as a mate' (that's how he would put it).

 

The guy is known to be a 'flirt'. But to the extent to which he was flirting with me, I started to doubt he even had a girlfriend. Comments he made to me like; "Stop it, you're fit when you do that", checking me out and saying "You're hot"..."you're buff when you strut you're stuff".

 

On another occasion, we were talking and I casually asked him about his girlfriend, and he did confirm he still had one. But still, he was making comments like "oh stop it, look at you, you're like a tease" (when I didn't even do anything). He was touching me quite a bit too, around the stomach/waist area.

 

Is he trying it on with me? Or am I reading too much into this? Is it normal for a friend of the opposite sex to behave in this way?

[RandomAdvisor]

I guess you are looking for more replies, but I think the two replies you got to your last thread on this were all you need to hear.

 

 

 

He sounds like a player. You should find someone else and take your mind off him.

 

 

 

 

^^Loser sounds more like it.

 

You should be getting away from him, he does not care about you. He's basically telling you that your holding on by a thread, and is just going to keep saving you for a "just in case" realationship. You know, your his security so he can go after other girls and tell himself if it doesn't work out he has you to fall back on. It's really sad that your letting him do this, but you can stop, and turn it on him by walking away.

 

Don't be his confidence boost. It's that simple.

 

 

 

I agree completely with those two posts. And I wouldn't make a blanket statement that flirting isn't cheating. I think anything that you can't freely admit to your partner and you have to keep secret is cheating. The key is the secret. Does his GF know he went shopping with you? Does she know all the things he told you? Does she know the way he was touching you? Would she be OK with all these things if she did know?

 

I think you know the answers.

 

This guy is trouble. I think you should steer clear of him.

[Hunny1607307342]

Hhhmmm thank you for your response I suppose you're right. The reason why I'm dwelling on it is more because I really want him to come on to me so I can reject him; because he has messed me about SO MUCH in the past by playing me and I really want him to try it on with me again so that I can have the joy of rejecting him. I just wanted to know if that's what his intentions seem to be.

[RandomAdvisor]

I don't blame you for wanting to reject him. Just wait a little while and I'm sure he will give you your chance when he tries to contact you again. I think you should tell him you're not interested in a friendship with him or anything else, and leave it at that. After that I would recommend you go to NC and ignore him. He will probably keep trying to contact you for some time.

[Hunny1607307342]

Okay then, will do so. Thank you very much for your advice!

[RandomAdvisor]

You're welcome. It'll only be $5. You can send it to me at my Paypal account....

 

Just kidding.

[Stinkweed]

I couldn't agree more with some_guy282. This guy is a sleazy SOB, I think. Stay away from him as much as you can. Good luck.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Yes, I've got a GF, who's friend's BF is always flirting with her (even more than that). I told her from my view point it looks like he's just trying to have his cake and eat it too. Same with your situation, sounds like the guy's quite a flirt, so it's between him and his GF if that's acceptable, but if I were you I'd stay away from him.

[jurupa]

Have you guys given the thought that this may be his perosnal nature? On New Years Day 2005 I was invited to a party and met some new people, one was a girl that seemed off the wall somewhat, but I didn't think anything of it. She came by the place I work at a couple of times and each time she was doing flirting things, like touching me and what have you. I ask one of the guys that I knew about her and he said that she is always like that and when she wants to flirt she gets serious.