Should I keep trying or is it a lost cause?

[chula05]

Okay, so a couple of months ago I went to a party with a friend and she always said, "hey you should meet this guy, he's so great and he's doing the same major as you and even though he's never met you he told me that he'd be willing to help you if you needed advice for the classes". I brushed it off but then I met him at the party and we barely spoke because we are so shy and she said he's not normally that quiet, he was probably just shy because I was there. From the moment I saw him I felt that 'spark' people talk about. So when my friend saw him again he gave her his number to give to me to call him if I needed help, but I was scared and didn't call him for like 4 months lol. When we finally spoke (the only time called me back) I was a wreck at 1st, but he made me comfortable. We mainly talked about school, but had a good time laughing and after 20 minutes he had to go, but told me to call him anytime. Now I know he's busy (2 jobs and goes to school) so I dont want to bother him. I still have more questions plus I want to add small talk in there so i left a message (home phone). Its been a week and my friend saw him again and told him i called, but he said he's been working 15 hours shifts and going to school. He gave her his cell number for me (he answers it more) and said I could call anytime. When I didnt call his cell he told her "she hasn't called me, is she okay?" I don't wanna interrupt him at work or school on his cell so I called his house and left a message and figured that I'd ask him what time is best to call next time I talk to him. Does he just not want to call me back? Why do I always have to call? He's telling her I can call, but im not gonna keep calling looking desperate until hes able to pick up. I dont think he has a phobia of calling people lol so why all of this? Should I just forget it? He just busy? He's the nicest guy so its not like he's just leading me on. Is he shy?

[Tigris]

I suggest you phone him once on cell phone and during the conversation say you don't like to phone him in case he's at school or work because he might get into trouble through you. He'll understand that you're still interested.

 

I think you're both misunderstanding each other because you're not communicating properly.

[redandblack]

When a guy tells you to call you he means it! If you're worried about "bugging him" or annoying him, I suggest calling once at first. If he's too busy he probably wont answer or will tell you he's busy. Then you let him call. It sounds like he's into you, but very busy with work and school. The summer is coming up (around here, at least), so maybe if you establish somewhat of a friendship, you can build upon it when he is less busy. Goodluck!

[chula05]

Thanks you two! Well now that I think about it I don't even know if he likes me back, or is just nice and wants to help. He was so eager though to give her his phone number for me. He's extremely busy and said that he'd prefer that I call him most of the time so we get a chance to talk without him forgetting to call. Im very shy too and this is hard for me, I'd prefer that we call back and forth so Im not doing all the work. I'll try calling him sometime this week and I'll casually mention that he can call me too sometime. As for summer he's still gonna be very busy. He's still working both jobs and taking summer classes like me so it will be very hard to talk to him.

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

Well if you feel a spark, nothing wrong with trying to see if you can fan the flame together. I would suggest that on a Thursday evening ring him up and tell him you would like to buy him a drink on Friday night, then meet him somewhere. You might be surprized where it may take you.

 

Good luck

 

Kuhl

[monsieur]

I know if I am into a girl, there is no possible human way I could be too busy to call her. No matter how busy a person is, they still make time to eat at least once a day or whatever. Do you really think it is possible to be so busy that you can't spare 30 seconds for a phone call?

[chula05]

Honestly yeah haha. I mean im not just saying that because I want him to like me, but he gets like 3 hours of sleep every night. He looks exhaughsted most of the time (I feel bad for the guy, thats gotta be tough). He works the first job from 8am-3pm, rushes to school and has classes from 3:30-8:00pm, and goes to his 2nd job from 8:30pm-4:30am then starts it all over. Now I know a relationship with him would be near impossible now, but he's going to graduate in a few months so I would like to at least make friends now and try to get into something more serious (if he's interested) after he's done with school. I'm very busy with school, but at least I have freetime and weekends off. I wouldn't be persuing this if he didn't always say that he'd like to talk to me and for me to call him. This whole thing sucks, but something keeps telling me it will be worth the wait.

[redandblack]

If the ball is, if you will, in his court, you've done your job. It's up to him to return it. Try not to be too concerned about it. If he's into you, he will try to make things work out -- you can only do so much. With him graduating and everything times are probably stressful. I remember when I worked like he did (4pm - 3am hard labour, wake up dead tired and do it all over again). I had no real social life and I really liked the girl who is my ex now. I ended up getting fired and we "caught up" and eventually ended up becoming best friends and then eventually dating. Just go with it and try to not be too worried about the whole situation. Good luck!

[chula05]

Hey thanks for the advice . The only thing that has me not worried, but confused is why he'd rather I call him all the time than for him to call me again. I wonder if it's just a preferance not to call someone (not like a phobia but just a "thing" he has) or if it's a subtle hint he may not want to talk to me and initiate conversation. Oh well. Thanks to everyone that gave their advice, I appreciate it a lot.