has anyone taken longer to heal than the relationship lasted?

[deejay74]

i just wanted to get an idea of how many people out there took longer to heal than their actual relationship lasted.

 

i am asking because my relationship lasted about 6 months and i am approaching 5 months since the break up and i have not completely healed yet. it's concerning me even though i have made a lot of progress in the past 4.5 months.

 

should i be concerned or am i worrying about nothing?

 

thanks in advance.

 

hope everyone is doing well today.

[Siriana]

You made a lot of progress as you said so no need to get worried. Take your time. As long as you are not stuck in the same place it's good.

[kellbell]

Nope...you should not worry at all. Everyone has different coping styles and everyone heals at different paces.

 

Deejay...you have come so far. Try not to overlook that. There are going to be those days where you feel icky...but from the tone of frequency of your posts...those days appear very far and few between.

 

Chin up dude...you are doing great!

[keefy1972]

A lot of times, I think, the shorter relationships are harder to get over because you leave so much of the unknown behind. Didn't really last long enough to "get annoyed with those little things". So you often don't have a lot of negative to draw on to help you through.

[brando]

or the shorter relationships are easiest, since not much of yourself was invested.

 

either way, the key is to take some time to heal, and learn from any mistakes made.

[RayF]

ouch rocker. I think that may happen to me but i don't want it to. I dated her for two years, two years later she still has the power to absoutly cripple me with pain whjen i think of her. I am not even in contact with her. She was just that important and i loved her just that much.

 

Seems hopeless.

[greekgoddess]

I was engaged to some one I was with for 4.5 years and I'm not over him 8 years later even though we have both moved on and married other people. In my mind he is just as unhappy as I am because we aren't together... I can't see how he could be happy with anyone else and I don't think I'll ever be as happy with anyone else as I was with him. When I get divorced I plan on being single and celebate for the rest of my life. I would become a nun but I am not catholic.

[blender]

I think "Keefy" is right, the shorter the relationship, sometimes the tougher it is to let go.. because we are left with the "magic" of those first 6-7 months, and those "perfect memories" and we also feel the "loss" of what we had "hoped, dreamed and planned on" and this loss is the hardest to get over, more difficult than the actual person we lost, the real person is not interested in these hopes, dreams, plans for right now,

 

yet we are left 'feeling them".. and that loss is hard to deal with, but you will find it again, you will, and you're doing so well deejay, you really are, it's just going to be tough, it took me a year to really "move on" from my ex of six months..

 

because we only had the "honeymoon period and newness" of the relationship for ME to keep focusing on and remembering, but those were my "feelings" the "facts" are he didn't want it anymore.. not me, but "it", a relationship.. so once I started to focus on the facts and not my feelings, I started to heal...

[sukerbut]

same boat here ev en though i know my ex for 5 yrs and we have dated before this was the first time we were officially a couple..we went out for 15 motnhs b but only nine were officially b/f-g/f..we had so many unbeleivably memorable moments..we even went on a unbeilavable vacation to costa rica in mid aug..by late sept..we had our prob lems and she ran for the hills...its hard because i felt a bit short changed..i wanted more out of the relationship she just finished school..could not find a job and had me hounding her..(rightfully so though) now she moved in with her new b-f after geting a job...that sucks because that was the relationship that i wanted but bad timing tore as apart...i am in my sevnenth month, just broke up with the girl iw as seeing for 3 months because i just was not that into her...and i am not going to lie she definatly did not wow me like my ex...but everyday i seem to forhet more about why things happened, how she looks etc. its tough dj i know we will get through this..n o worries