The Issue of Euthanasia

[blueangel]

Here are my arguments, for and against. It ties in with suicide and the right to live or die we each have as humans. Tell me what you think.

 

For those who don't know what Euthanasia is, it is the decision made to assist in suicide within hospital/physician limits for a peaceful/quicker death for those in an unbearable state of life. Some are terminal. Some are in physical pain for varius reasons. Yet, reasearching it, I've found that many places do not view depression enough of a justifiable reason to consider euthanasia for that patient.

 

Here is the arguments: do we have a right to die? a duty? a doorway of convienence rather than the path of morality if we are the ones who decide our rights- ones who don't know our origins, we who don't really know much about life and death at all to determine its worth.

 

Life and death gives each other its worth. They define the other. No much more can be said but that.

 

It all depends on your perspective towards the sanctity of life- if you believe in such a thing. I personally don't think we know enough about life and death to even attempt acting upon it as if we do. We have to be careful as to how far we go with such matters. Looking at the logic some use when they say, "well, we have a right" is a dangerous way to continue in our actions in any area of life. True, though, what works for one thing does not exactly another- depending on your goal.

 

Since professionals claim depression can be treated (as do I), then when one is undergoing a difficult journey through PHYSICAL pain, can we really say that our physical reality and awareness is all that life is- if we can't solve that then we should die? Along with physical pain comes depression and sometimes depression can lead to physical pain. What is the purpose of life? Is it worth living? Can we be happy in considerably "unhappy" or "unhealthy" conditions?

 

From my experiences, I've actually come to believe in miracles. I believe that if there wasn't suffering, there'd be no need for compassion. Yet are pity and compassion the same? Pity to me is defined by the task of relieving some burden of another. This can be argumented, through death. But compassion consists in the task of healing. It takes the sharing of ourselves with another and what we love. That should be anyway, what life is about. To smile to sing to laugh in the presense of pain until the pain is forgotten... for temporary times until this adjustment is permanent. And it is possible.

 

Our human connection is what heals the most- what makes the physical amount of pain more bearable. When babies are born, it is through their interaction with their main caregiver that their brain grows and is affected by the MOST. That connection and it's been heavily proven. We have the ability to block out pain and to some who don't figure out how to take themselves away from it physchologically, have a greater shock value created for themselves causing some from this horrible afteraffects such as turning mute. We can go one way or the other but I have learned that it is all DELT with if not created- in the mind.

 

With our minds, we can push ourselves past unbelievable extends- even our bodies. So physchological (I know I'm misspelling that) and physical pain go hand in hand. If physicians say depression can be treated that can lead to a greater motivation to recover ourselves from our condition- to the relieving of physical conditions as well. People who are in comas hold on longer the more interaction they have with love ones like a new process of awakening just as we experience when we are babies. That need for love will never change. We suffer without it. When physical pain can't be altered through outside means, our practices must go inward. And to do that, we must acknowledge what's inside.

 

The cheapening of life is at hand in our culture and society. It is shown through all the issues out there such as euthanasia, abortion and whatever else there is. It takes loved ones commited to reach a human heart and give their mind strength to return themselves for the power of love intertwines with the power of the mind. This takes time and unfortunately, we have set up boundaries between one another in society. Not like it used to be. Though we excel in technological achievements, we stray from the simple things that make us human: the paying attention of one another, the importance of investing in each other's wellbeing... if we were taught and made aware to do this through education of such "spiritual" basis, we could conquer physical pain through love. For it does not matter how much you know, you've been through or achieved. We know ourselves the most through human interaction and expression.

 

It takes commitment and love to bring someone out of hopeless thoughts. From experience, I've learned that if I compare my situation to another, the pain lessons. When I have been through a blizzard and return to a fairly cold house, I soak in the warmth that is there, acknowledging it because of the difference felt between the blizzard and my home. What we acknowledge, we make real. When we give selflessly, we give life to life. yet, we live life selfishly sayiing, "if I am in this pain, I shouldn't have to be here. It's my right." We believe there's no way to bring others back so we mourn their pain with them, taking on pity rather than with genuine acts of love with time, give them hope again- even a brain and body not reacting, there is a mind and soul still there, still everywhere waiting. That is what we fail to acknowledge.

 

I will close this referring to the times I've been on the edge of driving myself insane- my choice let in voices and imagination or push negativity away- and when I almost made myself mute and unable to move being through so much... not pain... but aloneness.

 

I rememeber when my body was shutting down into itself, there was a choice in my head. "can i bring myself out now? do i have the strength? i dont even want to." The longer I waited, the more difficulty I had in controlling my movements and actually getting words out. My brain was silencing. I let it happen.

 

It was only because I loved and lived by my mom so much that after a time, I could not ignore her calling and crying any longer so I brought myself back. I went through hell and back and as long as we choose to keep trying, we choose to keep hope... and I've learned that sometimes it isn't until later that we discover why hope was worth it. I went through phases of suicidal thoughts.

 

But I chose to live and see what happened, to make something of my life. Because my mom needed me and she was all I needed, even if she couldn't love or understand me the right way, to make myself try, try again. And then once more.

 

Euthanasia is a permanent choice. The time we are given still ahead of us we cannot foresee. Some do not know or haven't learned what is worthwhile about life. Some have but have too many burdens to bring themselves there. This choice though, no one understands enough about life or death to make it. We can never know what will happen.

 

Hopefully, all I have said despite any wordiness, has come full circle and you take all of it into accounts when you determine what you choose... to believe.

[blueangel]

Over view of points:

 

Depression is said to be treated

 

I have witnessed and experienced it by committed love to our EMOTIONAL wellbeing

 

This ties in with how we handle physical stress

 

When our minds are clear, we can heal ourselves no matter what. This I have truly seen- from minor to major cases. It happens all the time. It happened to me.

 

Euthanasia is not necessary then when these steps have been taken- when full emotional wellbeing is put in the process of being cared for with those around them BY those around them offering to lift the outside world burdens and for us all to be there for each other. Too often the justification of euthanasia has been measured by physical condition leaving the other part the same.

 

This is a reflection on society and how we think in situations in many areas of life. This is what must change. Selfishness causes blindness to the things that could be done to lift a soul- by the fact that we are not seeing them through the bigger picture- just what to do in terms of now and treatments and exercises and pointless things. It is the surrounding of love which brings us back. Yet, we don't have this really while living life much less while on the brink of death. That is what we must change- about ourselves for ourselvs and especially for others. Some are actually already dead but still walking routinely. We've just stopped seeing each other- family members, friends and strangers alike.

 

For more specific example, ask and I'll give them. For now I'd like to see waht you have to say.

[melrich]

I must admit I found this a bit hard to follow but was the guts of it asking whether euthanasia should/could be an option for people suffering depression?

 

I've never heard of sanctioned euthanasia for the chronically depressed? Is it the case somewhere?

[Tigris]

I don't think euthanasia should be allowed for people who are just depressed. However, I do agree that people should be allowed to do it for medical conditions, e.g. Motor Neurone Disease, Cancer, etc.

 

We allow animals to die with dignity why can't we allow this for humans?

 

I saw both my Grandfathers and my Mother die slow painful deaths! If euthanasia had been legal in England, and it had been up to me, then I would've given the doctors my consent for euthanasia.

 

Maybe the law should state that a majority vote by immediate family members plus that of the doctors should allow euthanasia to be used?

 

****************************************************************************

I know what depressions like I've been suffering with it my whole life. I've been seeing a Psychiatrist for 6 years and am on medication. I've also wanted to commit suicide on two occasions because of the disability I have. The first time was when the doctors didn't know what was wrong with me. I was in excrutiating pain. I couldn't move any part of my body a centimetre without screaming! I couldn't sleep and I was suffering with depression. I couldn't even feed myself, etc. I felt like a burden to my husband. If I could've crawled to a bottle of tablets I would've taken my life! I just wanted release. The second time was through mental instability although my body was alright at the time. I just couldn't cope with stress. I self harm too!

 

I've struggled on and my life has become better. It has never been 100% due to illnesses. It will never return to what I term as 'normal' for me since I took ill with Fibromyalgia Syndrome in 1999. From day to day (sometimes from hour to hour) my illness can change my life but I choose to fight!

 

On Sunday I drove the car to a computer fair. On the journey there I had pain in my shoulders (Osteo Arthritis) the rest of my body was ok. I parked the car and walked a few steps and pain surged through my legs. I no longer felt the pain in my shoulders because it was overshadowed. My Fibromyalgia had kicked in! My right leg was in agony (I take painkillers but at times like this they don't help! I'm on the highest dose possible. One of the tablets has morphine in it!) and I was limping, and my left leg felt like it was on steroids and was solid. When this happens I walk like a 'Spastic' and everyone thinks I'm drunk! ***I'm sorry for not being politically correct but I don't know an alternative word!***

 

When I'm ill like this I don't complain. Why? Because there are other people out there like RayKay's Mother who are suffering from cancer and are in a lot more than I am. Both my Maternal Grandparents and my Mother died of Cancer. I know in years to come that I could too.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

"Just Depressed?!?"

 

I believe in some cases, depression is a justifiable cause for ending of a person's life.

 

I don't mean the sort of depression that you get from a breakup or loss of ideals or your house burning down - ie, Depression From An Incident.

 

But if you have a depressive personality, even when things are going well, do you want to battle against that for about 60 + years? It can be so incredibly painful, I wouldn't want it. There must be some evolutionary purpose in it - survival of the mentally fittest, perhaps.

 

The real problem though is that depression is somewhat subjective, so drawing up guidelines for euthanasia due to depression would be impossible. If someone registered their intent and still desired it 5 years later, maybe...? No idea, too complicated...but in PRINCIPLE I'd say depression is a sound enough reason.

[PRSOV]

I believe in it in only one case... when you are old, no longer have the will to live any longer, and that living itself causes more pain than good. Although some people say that nobody was given life itself, so why should they have the right of taking it away from themself? Well that is all well and good for them, but are they in a permanent state of intense pain or depression? I bet not.

 

The thing is the people who are developing the technologies to introduce this into hospitals I just do not find trustworthy. I mean would you trust someone who would sell one of your grandparents a plastic bag that they could end their life with for twenty dollars? I wouldn't I find it cheap, and even in the situation mentioned above, nasty.

 

I don't really like the thought of this topic, but that's just my take on it.

[Lita43]

Hi Hon,

Wow you have some deep thoughts going on here and just keep on writing and is doing you alot of good!!!

I am a huge believer in the sanctity in life, as God my father has given it to me and his choice as to when he takes it.

It will never be my choice despite how much pain I suffer, as it is my path and have to follow through till the end!

The definition of a martyr is one who submits to death rather than renounce his religion, but I have mine and that's just my opinion (not pushing religion on anyone.)

I have more than everything to live for despite my long path of suffering and finally found the utmost of happiness through perserverance, patience and prayer!!!

God has granted me many miracle's in my lifetime and will honor him till the end!!!

My body is a mess right now and know it's for a reason, the reason I found this place.

Despite that I still look fine, I have 4 herniated disks in my back, bad arthritis, high blood pressure, IBS, asthma and allergies, my life has never tasted or been this great ever!!!!

I don't look for pity as there is nothing to pity me for!!!

Just got shot up with 4 more steriods, so the body pain is at a very miniscule amount.

Anyway, the point is that I do want to live and even though it was before my first steriod injection last year, I really couldn't handle the pain and thought of death.

There wasn't any possible way to sit in the chair in the waiting room that was comfortable and just started to cry.

I could hardly even breathe because I hurt so bad and kept imagining myself laying on the floor and screaming "Somebody Please Help Meeeee!!!!!"

This is so surprising to me that there could be a pain worse than childbirth and did it 7 times with up to a whole day in labor (felt like dying then too.) Yikes!!!

No I don't relate pity to compassion as there is a hug difference and never pity anyone!!!

I feel nothing but Love and Kindness toward the human race and not a judge of anybody on this planet.

If you are without sin, then cast the first stone!

Not a stone thrower or try not to be as I am guilty of taking sides, so color me more sinful!

Learn and live on!!! All I ask for is absolution, but not death.

Glad it sounds like all is going great on your end, so keep on keepin' on!!!

 

Always, Lita~ XO

 

God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me!

 

Quote: "A Day You Don't Learn Anything New Is A Day Wasted!" Lita~

[Bethany]

I don't agree with Euthanisia for the depressed as it is NOT a terminal disease but a condition of the mind and emotions and can and IS very often overcome. With professional help and/or medication or circumstances changing for the patient, this depression can go away completely. Assissted suicide in this situation should NEVER be acceptable. Seeking help and dealing with your problems is the answer.

 

The difficulty is with such diseases as Alheimer's Disease for example is that it is not a terminal illness and it has to be legally found that you have made a decision with a 'sound mind' that you do not want to live beyond a certain point but it is very often hard to prove, so you have to 'go' while you are still within that sound mind, which cuts your life short and you could have very well have lived another 20 years, which quite possibly a cure could be found during that time, so to me that is unacceptable.

 

But I do think if you really do have a terminal illness and are in excruciating agony and possibly could live with that pain for a very long time and where there is no other outcome but death, you should be allowed to go peacefully in your sleep.

It seems to me, that it would not only be a blessing for the patient, but for the carer who could be one of their own children, who have to watch them suffer, writhing in agony for months despite drugs such as morphine, before finally dying. I feel this must be extremely traumatic and something that will never forgotten or gotten over and something which should not happen in this day and age. For this reason and this reason ONLY, I agree with Euthanasia.

[Mr. Roboto]

Blueangel - You told me once that you liked my poems. Thanks for that. Well, I tried to kill myself with Xanax and sleeping pills, but failed. My roomate and a cop found me in my car on the roof of the parking garage. Spent six hours at a ER psych ward and after a three minute interview with a psychiatrist was given a prescription to wellbutrin. Look in the code of conduct of every major university and it will say that being a threat to yourself is actually a punishable offense. I was thrown out of the residence hall and am being thrown through a school bureaucracy and "judicial procedures". I was humiliated as I was supervised while packing up my things. The girl I had written my poems about had forwarded a personal email in which I discussed the pain from the ulcer and how I wanted to die. The administrators waved it in my face as they kicked me out. I went to an appeal to the interim suspension and was told at most I couldn't live in the dorms again, but before I went in I was almost hoping he would expell me because of what I had been through - if he had kicked me out of law school I would have gotten in my car and driven to the closest national park and lit the charcoal I had bought the day before in my car. It would have been liberating to know that my dream, my future was gone and that I had nothing left to hold onto. Instead, he let me stay in school but took me away from the friends that were supporting me. I come home alone to an empty house now. Never complain to the school that you are suicidal because that makes you a legal liability that they cannot afford. They don't care about you - they care about bad publicity and lawsuits. They wrote me off just like everyone else. In my Constitutional law class, I learned that we don't have a right to die - I learned the hard way by being punished and humiliated by the people I went to for help. No one is interested in loving me but they still want me around to suffer - I annoy them being here and trying not to be here. They put me on Wellbutrin which I had to quit because it turned me into a jerk and gave me hand tremors and headaches - I had hoped that pill would make it so I didn't care about being alone but it just made me feel wired and irritable. Depression is a terminal disease as it left me dead inside with no reason to stick around - everyone thought I was joking about suicide when I was asking for help and the girl I loved just ignored me because she thought I wanted attention. All I wanted from anyone was a reason to live, to go on, something to make me happy. What's the difference between someone with cancer who suffers every day and someone with depression that suffers everyday - neither want to live in constant pain all the time. I had both physical from the ulcer and psychological - I have BA degree in psych so believe me when I say they have absolutely no idea how those antidepressants actually work - serotonin goes up instantly but the effects take weeks to kick in. Why? Because it's not just serotonin or dopamine - it's something they affect. If the drugs fix you, put you the way you are supposed to be than why all the negative side effects that regular people don't have. It's because the drug is imperfect - Xanax made me more suicidal. If I can't find someone who's willing to love me for who I am, I am not going to just dope myself up with antidepressants so that those around me can be happy because I am falsey happy - that does nothing for me except get me addicted to some drug. I want real happiness. Is that too much to ask? This summer will be happiness or bust - if I can't find someone I won't go on living alone and miserable while everyone around me runs through relationships like toilet paper and complains. That is three months to find someone I can love who can love me too. It will either be the best three months of my life or the last.

[Mr. Roboto]

PRSOV - what does your age have to do with the feeling that living itself causes more pain than good. Try waking up with 24 heartburn, acid coughing up your throat when you lay down, horrible stomach pain all day, throwing up meals, the girl you love - who used to spend all day with you writing you off because you're a burden now.

[Bethany]

Mr Roboto,

Depression is NOT a terminal disease. It's an illness you live with until change your life and start to look for answers from the inside. Start by stopping looking for someone to come and take it all away, someone to come along and make it all better,. That will NEVER happen. The ONLY person who can do that for you, is YOU.

 

You seem to blame alot of people for alot of things,and I do understand that some bad things have happened but ultimately this depression is yours. You own it. You hold onto it. You make you that way. Nobody else, just YOU.

 

And don't think for one second I haven't been there, or that I don't understand because I do. I know it's deepest depths, it's black moods and it's constant source of torture as they were my constant companion for many years but now through MY own inner work, MY own effort to rid myself of this horrendous illness, I am now happy, have inner peace and am free of it.

So you see,despite what it tells you, however bad it makes you feel, it's NOT a terminal illness because if it were.... I'd be dead already.

[PRSOV]

PRSOV - what does your age have to do with the feeling that living itself causes more pain than good. Try waking up with 24 heartburn, acid coughing up your throat when you lay down, horrible stomach pain all day, throwing up meals, the girl you love - who used to spend all day with you writing you off because you're a burden now.

 

I never made any reference to age...

[Mr. Roboto]

You said, "I believe in it in only one case... when you are old, no longer have the will to live any longer, and that living itself causes more pain than good. Although some people say that nobody was given life itself, so why should they have the right of taking it away from themself? Well that is all well and good for them, but are they in a permanent state of intense pain or depression? I bet not."

 

 

When you are old = this is called a reference to age.

[Mr. Roboto]

You're right - I do blame people. I should have told all those kids who beat me up and humiliated me in school that I did not enjoy it very much and that it may have long terms consequences on my confidence, self-esteem, and general emotional well-being. My bad. If I was capable of resolving things on my own I would have done it by now. So, I sought help in every way I could. When you tell people how lousy you feel, they console you, and you still feel lousy - they get fed up with you. When you tell people you want to die - they think you just want attention. Maybe, I did. Maybe I wanted someone to notice that I am alive. If everyone had it within themselves to heal without help - we would not have doctors or psychologists. I didn't ask for a lousy and lonely past to haunt me but it does everyday. A person cannot simply disregard their past to become the person they always wanted to be. I cannot help being a product of my experiences. That product is someone who is alone, who has always been alone. No one wants damaged goods like me when there are so many others without the emotional baggage, who can speak proudly and fondly of their lives. How can I compete with that?

[Bethany]

Ok so you've had a crap past. But that kind of thinking usually results in your worst fears coming true... i.e. that you have had a lousy past so it must mean you will have a lousy future. That's so very wrong.

Dwelling on the past means you are not looking forward and accepting that although things that have happened to you, it doesn't mean your life is over or that you cannot live happily again. Of course you can.

Don't let your depression 'talk' you into thinking that there is no way out because there ALWAYS is.

 

You have to become the person who will not accept that your life is going to be crap or you will end up sitting like a self- pitying poor me kind of person. Be a person who says to himself.. Ok enough is enough, bad things have happened but it will not let them ruin my whole life. I will get more help, I will change my life, do things diferently, I will do everything in my power to make MY life better, I will stop looking at others to make my thoughts and emotions change because it's MY life..and you HAVE to do all those things so you won't end up with a crap future. Start by changing the way you think.

[Mr. Roboto]

What I think is that I am disconnected. I am different. For some, there are no limits, no barriers. If I want something remotely similar to what comes so easily to everyone else than I will have to settle for less than I want, less than I need. I won't get the amazing girl, the beautiful funny intelligent one who makes me happy to be alive all day, everyday. I can only have to one that wants me, the one I feel nothing for. But, with the latter, at least I appear to be like everyone else - I pretend everyday to be like everyone - to be happy. While I am pretending, for a few moments I think I am happy, but it's no more real than the happiness that comes from a pill. It's fleeting, temporary, short lived, and unstable. I want something real, something lasting, a world in which I don't have to pretend - a place where I am genuinely content. What I need is a person, and I know it won't be perfect, but I know that this person can give me lasting happiness with moments of perfection scattered here and there. I want to look forward to being awake rather than going to sleep, and remembering and pining for my life rather than a dream that will never come true. Everytime I aspire to get what I want, people tell me what I am and am not capable of - I refuse to believe them though. But, they are always right in the end - because in the end I fail just like they said I would.

[Bethany]

Well that's a perfect example of what I mean and why you need to start changing your thoughts. But your right about one thing........ You need a person but the person you need is YOU.

[blueangel]

Our mind is the most of control we have over our brain and what chemicals are released. We know that the releases of these are due to a reaction to a thought or an idea or of the outside world. When we are unconscious, we feel no pain so our mind HAS the control- depressive or not. Yet, many people actually take pleasure in being the victim. We are as happy as we choose to be and some people consider happiness only comfort for their problems. If you really believe you are a victim, you will keep arguing so. That's your defense. And such becomes your pattern. Such becomes your lifestyle.

[Mr. Roboto]

Our mind is the most of control we have over our brain and what chemicals are released. We know that the releases of these are due to a reaction to a thought or an idea or of the outside world. When we are unconscious, we feel no pain so our mind HAS the control- depressive or not. Yet, many people actually take pleasure in being the victim. We are as happy as we choose to be and some people consider happiness only comfort for their problems. If you really believe you are a victim, you will keep arguing so. That's your defense. And such becomes your pattern. Such becomes your lifestyle.

 

What's you've touched upon is one of the fiercest debates of our time - nature vs. nurture, whether or not a person's will alone is strong enough to combat even the harsest past or the most faulty genetics. If a person perpetrates a crime - who is responsible? Thier genes, thier environment, or did they simply make the choice to be the person to they are?

 

Genetic problems cannot be helpped without messing around with the dark age drugs they throw out these days.

 

Environment and will - that's the tricky one. Many studies have been done on children locked in closets for years - never taught to speak, never allowed to process and adapt to the world during their brains' most critical developmental stages. Yes, they can be taught to speak but they have never been able to express themselves as fluidly and effortlessly as those who had the advantage of a normal or exceptional upbringing. Nevertheless, the progress they made after all those years locked away is a product of willpower. I was given that fresh start for a few months, like a child let loose from a dark closet. I changed, I bettered myself and made many new close friends and I fell in love, not with some one I knew little about but someone who approached me, who knocked on my door every morning and every afternoon, called me often, complemented me and made me believe that I had it within myself to save myself. For the first time, I could see a future - something I could be proud of. I had hit the ground running and I hadn't fallen - I had in fact caught up and even surpassed some. I stopped being afraid and for the first time I rested everything within me on faith and hope. It culminated, in a run back from the library on a dark cold night, I was happier than I had ever been because she was waiting for me, I thought she was waiting excitedly to hear what I had to tell her but she only wanted my work, the outline I had made for the exam. For an hour as I got ready to see her, shower and shave, I was on top of the world. She came in and we talked and I told her how much she meant to me and I asked her for a day. She told me a day would never make a difference. She didn't know that she changed my life every morning she knocked on my door and smiled. Those months spent all day, everyday with her was my chance - I put my best foot forward but my best was not good enough for someone that I loved and would have done anything for. Will power cannot make you more handsome, it cannot make you more intelligent, or charismatic. Look at divorce statistics in this country - it is far easier and more likely to fail. The odds are against the average man as well as the exceptional man. I don't want to be a victim and I gave everything I had not to be. I bet all the chips I had saved up over the years, the little optimism I had preserved from the trauma over the years that I kept locked away and protected. It was a bluff that the world called. It is my fault in that I gambled on the wrong girl - but I had been alone so long that I felt I had nothing to lose. I did have something to lose - the last of my will, the illusion that past rejections meant nothing because they did not know who I was. She knew who I was - no more excuses for me to fall back on. I'm empty now. Staying alive just so your family doesn't feel bad - is that enough? Doesn't a person need to have a reason to live besides the duress of harming one's family? You people fight for the idea that one has the free will to change for the better, one has control over one's destiny. Yet, the moment someone makes the rational decision that they no longer wish to endure constant suffering and rejection, you pounce, society pounces and steals away that free will. They lock you away and dope you up - so that you become someone else, someone they approve of and if you can't do it than they never let you have your freedom again. I'm tired of people telling me to snap out of it. Don't you think I want to be like the rest of you - be happy, have love. I do more than anything in the world. I just don't want to endure the pain of failure again, no more than any of you would wish to walk into a mine field. Do you spend decades sitting there on the safe ground or face certain death stepping on mine after mine and having limbs blown off - each time leaving you alive but in more pain. Like being on lifeboat with no supplies in the middle of the ocean - do you suffer through a week of starvation and thirst, or do you spare yorself the misery by picking up the gun and ending it right then and there without the pain of a slow death. My slow death is an emotional one, my mine field is life without the detector and skills the rest of you have - coming down from that emotional high that that girl gave me only to hit the jagged rock bottom canyon robbed me of the last of my hope, courage, and confidence. I can see the future before me that I had been denying my whole life - the one they all told me I had no chance of escaping. I have been fighting my whole life, I am tired of fighting, but I have one more choice - life and death.

[Bethany]

There are two types of people in this world... Victims and Survivors. I know who I am.

[Mr. Roboto]

There are two types of people in this world... Victims and Survivors. I know who I am.

 

What a simplistic break down of the world? And what of these victims you speak of? Must they sit there and endure a lifetime of misery as the survivors walk over them so you feel better. Tell me a victim can change, that a victim can become a survivor. That's what everyone says - but they never tell you how. They just walk away and turn their backs as you reach out for help.

 

link removed

 

READ this article - I hope you are proud of being a survivor. A survivor is just someone who saves their own skin by watching victims suffer and doing nothing for fear of putting themselves in jeopardy. We could all be survivors if people like you didn't classify a segment of the population as irredeemable and yourself as their superior. Some of us need help, not bland and meaningless advice and criticisms of the faults we are fully aware and ashamed of everyday of our lives.

[Mr. Roboto]

Took 5mg of Xanax, a few shots, added grapefruit juice - alot because supposed to slow down the breaking down of xanax - wish me me luck. Sleeping pills are next. That girl I loved - Melissa - she walks past me now like i am not even there. She will never smile at me again. I loved her so much. I don't want to live alone anymore. Not like this. With her I saw happiness as a possibility for me for the first time. I'm never going to be happy again. I miss her so much - everything about her. She hates me now - because I worried her the last time I tried this so now I won't tell her what I am doing - no one will know. Goodbye. All I wanted was someone to love me - not see me as a victim but be proud of me for surviving it all. No one will ever be proud of a victim. No one can love a victim like me. I hate being alone so much - No one wanted to help me. I asked for help and they threw me out of my home. I just wanted help.

[Bethany]

Are you comparing what happened to you to a vicious attack on a helpless young girl? Get real, you were dumped..

 

I hope you are proud of being a survivor.

 

Even though you have quoted me out of context.... Yes I am proud. I have suffered far more than you can imagine and I have been places that you don't even know exist but I have NEVER considered myself to be a victim or played that role.

 

But if you want to wallow in your own self-pity instead of facing up to the problems your life, your emotions and thoughts, and dwell on some girl who dumped you instead of facing what's happened, dealing with it and getting over it through help or your own 'inner work', then carry on....... Play the victim if it makes you feel better.

[Mr. Roboto]

I must have built up a tolerance to everything - my body is too good at breaking down these drugs. I took the whole bottle of Xanax, sleeping pills, and booze. Surprise surprise - still here. You missed the whole point of what I was saying - it is the idea of deindividualization - when we see those suffering around us - we each apathetically assume that someone else will help or that person could help themselves if they really tried. Humanity to me, is interdepedant, we are all the same in that we stand on this little blue ball drifting through eternity - all we have each other. We are not meant to live alone, be alone all day. We need each other as much as we need air and water - to be denied this sense of community is as deadly as thirst or hunger - not a quick death but a slow one. I have been slowly dying my whole life. Reaching out and having the troubles briefly scared away by a lit window in a dark night once and a while but no one comes outside, no one cares because they assume that someone else will act. One girl is simply a symptom of a pattern - a repeating pattern, one in which I put forth all the kindness, generosity, humor, and love that I have to give only to be told that it is not enough. She's not one girl but one more who will step over me as I lay dying in the street. She will not be the last if I allow my hopes to build again - the higher they go, the further I have to fall.

 

"Play the victim if it makes you feel better" - I have tried to kill myself twice because feeling better is not an option for me. My "inner worK" is not working and when I reached out for help they put me in psychiatric ward for six hours to avoid the legal liability. Made me sit next to a guy who talked to himself the whole time. I saw a pregnant woman beaten, restrained, and tied down. One woman would switch been between crying and laughing hysterically. The last guy was beaten and restrained and then the nurse said he was being released in two minutes. I need help but because of legal liability everytime I ask anyone they have me thrown out, held against my will, and medicated. I am not crazy, I am very rational person but every man needs compansionship, needs love. No one wishes to give it to me - I cannot live alone and get older knowing I will always be denied the most fundamental human desire.

[Bethany]

She's not one girl but one more who will step over me as I lay dying in the street.

 

One of the reasons you feel that way is because you are reaching out for love and help from other people when the only real person who can help you is you by reaching in and loving you.

 

Accept what has happened, accept it's all over. All of it. Forgive people to set yourself free. Understand that depression thrives on negative thoughts and the strong feelings that come with them ...It's what keeps depression alive. Fear often comes with depression and it's ususally thats what makes people want to 'leave' so badly. Maybe you should try taking a look inside to see and what you are afraid of, what you fear most? It can help greatly to understand one's own fear and how it affects the body and mind.

 

While you continue to hold on to your pain so tightly your just reliving the same old pain day after day, week after week, weakening your body and wearing down your emotions so everyday it feels worse and worse because you won't let go of it.... Let it go and it will leave on its own. It will fade. And because it's fading you will then feel happier because of it, and every day will feel brighter until it fades completely.

You're a smart guy, you know that makes so much sense than holding on with bitterness, regret, remorse and heartache.

 

Don't you owe it to yourself, the inner you... the man who loves to be loved, the deep poetic man who writes from his heart and soul, the who is capable of great love, the man who really has had enough of all the pain, to stop doing this to yourself?