Ok I never cheated, but did had lost of opportunities to, help me!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pistol_n_petals]

Hey people,

Ok can anyone help me, I dunno what on earth is wrong with me. The good news is I never in my life cheated on any b/f I had, but the thought of even considering it or almost trying to makes me shiver. On my first relation that lasted for 8 months it was good, until I started talking to this guy my friend told me about. Nothing provocative, I stop him at it, but in my mind I wanted to stop on going on. And yea some guys have tried to kiss me before, once again I felt like just doing it and going for it, biut stop and instead back off. Now I'm in 2 years relations and we're also engaged to be married on August. Again the same problem, three of one of my friend's guys have tried to kiss me, I didn't wnet for it, but I still wnated to. I can't figure out it. I do feel like doing online and cybering with lots of guys, also phone sex, but then in time I get reminded I have a relation. I feel like one day I'll go for it and really mess up, I know it would be wrong. As to why do I have these thoughts of flirting with them, I have no idead. I have a good relation, good communication, but see I get so bored when we don't hang out. Even if it's just one day we don't hang out, then I'm temped to go online and do these deeds, but I can't. Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And no, I don't really like talking to anyone about my personal problems, I'm not so expressive, so instead I'm writing here.

Yes, I know couseling is also on the list, but frankly I dunno, if my fiance ask as to why I'm considering this, what excuse I'm I gonna say. Plus imagine talking to a stranger about my problems, any other suggestions people. Help, I don't wanna hurt him, i don't, wanna stop having these thoughts and temptations.

[BellaDonna]

I think this is definitely something that needs to be addressed long before you get married in August. You may not be ready to be married.

 

I think your fiance deserves honesty from you- and you should tell him the urges you have been having. It's good that you have not acted on those urges, however if your heart and mind are not 100% with your fiance- he needs to know.

 

"Jitters" before any marriage is normal-since marriage is such a big decision- however the urges you are describing sound like a lot more than just typical pre-wedding jitters.

 

I think counseling would be a good idea, especially pre-matiral counseling- to determine if this wedding is indeed the next bext step for you and your fiance.

 

If you're having doubts- you can still call off the wedding. Don't get caught up or pressured in all the wedding planning.

 

Marriage is a serious decision- and it should not be taken lightly. If you feel like you want to seek out other men when your fiance is not around, and you're not even married yet- I hate to say it- but I don't see your marriage ever lasting if things continue this way.

 

 

BellaDonna

[NW Homey]

I agree, the first thing to do is talk to your fiance. If you can't talk to him now you probably never will when you are married. He has a right to know about this situation. If you are going to marry him you need to learn to trust his judment. Ask him what he would like you to do and how he wants you to handle it. Let him know that his friends have been trying to get close to you and which ones they are. They are not his friends and he needs to know that now. You have an enormous amount of will power which is a credit to you and one that he should feel go about. It is somewhat normal to feel attraction to others but it does seem excesive in your situation. Maybe you need to look at what you are portraying or presenting to other guys that is making them approach you. It would be interesting to know a little of your past. Sometimes things that happen in our childhood affect how we handle situations (such as commitment - which is what it sounds like you are really having a problem with) in adult life. Good luck - and TALK to him straight forward.

[spiderman_56]

I think you deserve applause of not cheating and resisting temptation...

Is it a physical need that you feel , do you feel like wanting sex with a guy different from your fiance .. ?

Is it that you feel more appreciated with another and wants to take it higher ..?

Which one it is you need to figure it out before getting married because in my point of view marriage is a huge level of committment and engagement that deserves the utmost respect...

 

Do not take it lightly, do not engage if your heart / body feels the need to experience sexual adventures ....