I don't get this girl! Really need some advice!

[HomerSimpson]

Hi all!

 

My situation is that there's this girl at work ... who works in different department. When i used to walk down the corridor she always made attempt to speak 2me. She winks and always very cheerful and her eyes light up. After couple of weeks flirting i ask her out through her friend and she says no and sees me as a mate . Well this was back in november 2005.

 

Anyway... i recently in the process of purchasing a flat and all of sudden she so interested in me. Asking me loads of questions about the flat and that. Then we have general chit chat asking what each of us are up to the weekend. I tell her am going to my brothers engagement do.

 

Later on that weekend (saturday) she txt's me asks hows it going at me brothers party. Which is really really unsual. (she new there would be girls there at the engagment.. i think she got worried that i might find someone there) All of a sudden i stop giving her attention and she starts making more conversation during the week by emails or in person when we meet at work. When this happens i give in start replying back to her.

 

Then a week or two later i start initiating the conversation/emails and she doesn't reply to most of them. i don't get it! I'm trying to move on and this girl is keep giving me mixed signals. She always looks at me more than the rest of the girls. Text's me if i taken a day off during the week what av i been upto etc...

 

I'm not that shy anymore i make conversation to any1. I believe i've overcome that. It was hard to ask her out the first time and don't know whether to give it one more attempt in asking her out? Or should i leave well alone.

 

Its really hard to make out whats going on in her head. i need a degree in

psychology.

 

Two both girls and guys could u tell me whats going on here because am having a hard time making out what she really wants??? Really need your help on this one!

 

many thanks

[kellbell]

Ah...the old push/pull game. If she is not interested in you romantically, I would ignore her. This push/pull game is going to continue if you do not put a stop to it. Good luck with everything.

[Süsser Tod]

Ah...the old push/pull game. If she is not interested in you romantically, I would ignore her. This push/pull game is going to continue if you do not put a stop to it. Good luck with everything.

 

Yep, it is the old push/pull game, but I can't see more than the game in there, really doubt there is any romantic interest on her part, if there were, she would have already made a move. And basically 7 months is way too long, so you may be already friendzoned and she is only playing with you.

[Starfall]

I would ignore her.. She sounds shallow and doesn't seem interested to me.

You can do better.

[PocoDiablo]

She's not looking for a boyfriend, that's for sure. If she were you'd be dating her. Waiting this long = no chance, typically.

 

Asking her on a date *through* her friend also signalled that you're not boyfriend material, either. Next time, ask her in person.

 

Really, she seems like a flirt looking for someone to give her attention. Seems she is not on the same level as you are. I'd move on.

 

Besides, trying to date people at work is almost always a disaster waiting to happen.

[Starfall]

Besides, trying to date people at work is almost always a disaster waiting to happen.

 

Very true Poco!

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

she's acting kinda weird. seems like she wants to keep you on the line, but when you try to ask her out (er..through a friend(?)), she turns you down. that doesn't make sense.

 

i had a girlfriend who always likes to keep a bunch of guys on the line, and didn't want them paying attention to anyone else either, but also wasn't interested, which i could never understand that, but it sounds like this female friend of yours is doing that with you.

 

if you hope to ever find a girl who actually is interested in you, then you need to stop hanging around this girl because it will put other women off.

 

imo, if a girl is interested, she'll want to go out with you and say yes when you ask her or at least show interest, and definitely not tell you she just thinks of you as a 'mate'.

[HomerSimpson]

how do i get this girl out of my head??? i see her everyday at work and its really tearing me up inside... i am trying to date other women and i know there would be some really nicer ones than her but most av dated have not been my type. Arrrrrrrrrrrgh its really fustrating!

 

 

Could someone who have been in a similar situation how they over came this.?

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Just get out there and date other people. Perspective.

[Dating Coach]

She's not interested. SHe's a very common type of girl that I like to call a ATTENTION * * * * *! She likes guys liking her. She probably has several guy friends who are interested in her, and keeps them dangling like she does you. It feeds her ego.

 

Just ignore her completely. There is no reason for her to not know who you are yet come on aggressively only to shoot you down and call you a mate unless she just likes the attention.

 

If it were me, I wouldn't talk to her any more. I wouldn't be rude, but I simply would show her ZERO interest, even to converse with. I would politely excuse myself from conversations. If she tried to press further I would tell her that I don't have female "mates", only female "dates" and leave it at that.