why won't she listen?

[Liquid Dream]

My mom is really worried about me and its kinda upseting me. Everyday she tells me to get out, and make friends but I just don't have it in me. Right now she's making me get a job, which I'm not mad about at all, but it's bugging me because she tells me I'm wasting my life because I never get out. She thinks that if I get a job it will make me feel better but I know that won't happen, becuase every job I get throws me behind a register, which I hate more than anything, so I'm making money just to feel miserable, and I feel worse. She's already signed me up for dance class this summer (not my style) so I can meet other kids my age, but I could careless about the drama. I feel like she's just not listening to me. I'm just not into hanging out with people, I hate parting and socialising, but I wonder if she'll ever understand that? Why doesn't she just leave me alone about it? She says it kills her to see me at home all the time, but most parents would love to see their kids at home more often. I dunno, I don't like feeling pressured into something I don't wanna do.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Liquid - sorry she's not hearing you.

 

Are you really 18? Cuz, pretty soon, can't you get your own place and do what ever YOU decide.

[Liquid Dream]

Yes, I am 18, but I know I'm not ready to manage my own home right now, anyone else with some real advice?

[phaseone]

Your mom wants the best for you and your future. From your previous post, it doesn't sound like you don't do anything productive except stay at home? Perhaps joining clubs and meeting new friends will motivate you to achieve success.

 

If you hate working, I'd suggest you get yourself into school and learn about what you could be interested in. Your mom sounds really supportive, so I'm sure she'll pay for your school? In any case, I think school would be a good option for you.

 

Good Luck!

[Liquid Dream]

nobody is seeing what I'm really asking. I am productive, I have TONS of stuff I have to do at home. I do not want to join clubs, and I already am out of school, I'm all funned out okay? I don't mind gettting a job, I just wanna know why my mom won't except me for me

[d14u]

maybe she wont accept the fact that you dont want to socialise because when she was your age she was used to having friends and socialising..or maybe she doesnt understand that your okay with not having friends and not going out..you need to reassure her that your happy with how your life is now and that if you really wanted to get friends and socialise then you would..and you could also tell her that their are alot of kids who would go out all the time and their parents would love if they stayed at home ..like you said..she should be grateful..i dont know if that helped at all.but yeh..thats my advice..

[itsallgrand]

Maybe she wants you out of the house before you are 28. .

You are more likely to stick around home if you have no motivation to leave (though partying it up with friends etc. is not the best reason to leave home, it does get some people the ummmph to do it and work work work).

 

Does your mom love you? Do you know it?

 

When I was in my teens my mother hounded me to go out more too. And I did have sports, friends, and I was intent on doing well in school. But my mother was an alcoholic. At 14 she was asking me 'have you gotten laid yet? You know you should have a boyfriend by now.'.

 

When you do leave home, you are going to need to socialize and get out, or else you will get depressed. We all need these things. I really do think your mom is just watching out for your best interest. She isn't accepting this behavior from you because she knows it could lead to your unhappiness in the future.

 

Good luck.

 

BTW: If you are feeling depressed already, I urge you to tell your mom this. That I'm sure she would understand. Maybe not entirely: because depression is something many people do not truly understand. But I'm sure she would try.

[Moonlight80]

Hey,

 

It sounds like both you and your mother are stressing about the situation leaving both of you not to understand each other's point of view.

 

I think your mother loves you and wants your best. I think what she's looking for is to actually see you doing something good for your future. That's why she wants you to get a job. Even though all you can get now is simply a cashier job, take that and gain experience to do other things in the future. Of course she'd rather see you at home other than partying at some club... but she knows that's what kids do these days in order to socialize. There are other ways to get around that. If dance classes are really not your scene then explain to your mom that you don't want to do that and you will find something else that you like to do and benefits you.

 

Bottom line is, your mom, just wants you to succeed in your life and when she sees you lying around the house she thinks that there is no good out of it. Maybe there isn't. What you have to do is try and show her that there are other things that you can do, other than partying, that make you happy. I'm sure if she sees you doing things that will be good for your future, wheather in our out of the house... she'll get off your case. Parents are like that, they just need to see their kids progressing.

 

Since you don't mind getting a job... do that for now. Use that as a stepping stone to get where you want to be. You never know what may happen.

 

Going against your mother's will isn't going to help you at all. She will always be in your case.

 

I'm 25 yrs old and I still live at home. My parents are cool with it. But I had to show them that I was making some progress in my life. I have a full time job and am in college, part-time. I have a few good friends that are dear to me... but not really the partying type. We just have quite gatherings and just kid around. Maybe you should just find the right type of friends for you and stick with that... they don't have to be the partying type, just people that you're able to have a connection with.

 

Your mom is just worried for your well being - give her and you a chance and try to do what's best for YOU!!

 

Best wishes

[AwdreeHpburn]

Liquid dream - I apologize for not offering real advice.

 

Is there something particular you'd like to hear?

 

I think I know what your asking but I don't think you like what you're hearing.

[Jorus Cbaoth]

The only solution I see is to learn how to manage your money and get a house. Find a job you like and get a cheap apartment. Or find some way to go to college.