I am like so shy & antisocial lol!

[KIDD]

Today was one of my friend's birthday's & I was invited to go out to dinner with his family. I decided to stay home because I really don't like talking to other people all of that much. I don't know why but it's always alot of nervous energy with me. Talking & hanging around a bunch of people I don't know.Now with hanging out with my friends & family, it's fine. Often in cases where I'm in large social groups that require you to talk, it makes me nervous because I feel like people are always judging me by what I say & how I dress, or perhaps even my actions.Then people from the family always like to ask you questions about yourself & I'm afraid to mention things because I don't want to look dumb or stupid by what I say.Since I'm not in school currently until fall & I don't have a job, which has been so hard for me to find. It's embarrassing when people ask you what you're doing, & you really can't say anything good is happening in your life at all.

 

Currently I'm going through some personal issues in my life & everyone acts like they're so perfect & they have no flaws whatsoever.My friend's family is sort of the uppity type.They like to brag & talk alot. I would feel out of place & it would make me feel bad listening to a bunch of adults talk about their jobs & such.I'm sorry that I told him I couldn't make it but this is always an issue for me.I put too much energy on how I present myself & what people are thinking?They would probably put me down since I currently have no job, I am out of high school & I don't start college until fall. Now this makes me sound like I am not doing anything in my life but I really want to. I've been job hunting for months to occupy my time but to no luck. I would have join a gym but without any money, I can't really do anything. Plus my parents won't seem to help me in this matter as for as paying for gym membership.

 

Also, I'm the homebody type guy. I spend 90% of the time at home & sometimes it's depressing & sometimes I actually like being alone.My social skills are really bad & sometimes when I am out & I have to talk to somebody,I can never really look them in the eye because I just get this weird vibe for looking too hard at somebody.People usually come up to me & talk but I'm not a very good conversationalist. I just can't ever seem to hold long conversations & maybe it's me.Anyhow what's the problem with me & how do I fix this?

[aggierocker]

Practice and don't give a damn what other people think. Live life like your drunk with extascy.

[Unmotivated]

I agree with aggierocker. You just need to practice your social skills. Start with something easy, talk strangers that you see pass when your walking around town. Just a simple "Hi." or "Hey, how's it going?". After you get comfortable with this, practice some short conversations with people. For instance, if you're in some sort of public building, you could walk up to somebody and ask them if they know where to find this or that, or you could just comment on something that's happening, like the weather or how ridiculous it is that you and this person have to wait in a really long line for something. The good thing about practicing like this is that you probably won't see these people again (unless you live in a really small town) and even if you do, they probably won't remember you or they will remember you and how friendly you were.

 

As for talking to people you meet somewhere that you'll probably see again, i.e. a party or at class or work, just be confident. The easiest way to do this is just to be yourself. If anybody has a problem with who you are, it's their problem, not yours. Don't worry about people judging you by the way you look or what you say. The problem is that people will judge you by how confident you are around them. If you just sit around in the corner, they won't really think much of you and they might even make some unfair assumptions about you. If you go around a party and introduce yourself to everyone, shake hands, and smile, I doubt anybody's going to care about whether or not you have a job.

 

Good luck! And if nothing else, look forward to college. It's a great place to pratice your social skills!

[Diggitydave]

yeah don't one day be shy and anti-social and the next be johnny rotten. just take it easy.

[KIDD]

I guess so, I just really hate being around alot of people but I guess I'll grow out of it eventually!