Started Drinking

[Striker17]

I have been good friends with a group of people for a while now. We hang out almost every night, and we can just enjoy ourselves. Whether it's just talking, or playing videogames, we always have fun.

 

About two weeks ago, someone in our grade had a party, and we decided to go. We all got drunk, it was the first time we drank alcohol with eachother, and we had a good time. A week later, one of my friends decided that it would be fun if we did it again, so we went to a corner store, and bought some beer, they didn't card so it was fine. Again, we got drunk.

 

I feel a little uncomfortable drinking, not only are we under age, but I know my father wouldn't appreciate it. I also feel that we have been having a blast without alcohol, and we really don't need it to be fun. I don't even find the time we have with alcohol to be that much better. I tried getting us to go to a movie this past friday, and we did. The thing is, right afterwards, one of the friends asked yet again to go drinking. I claimed that I was out of money, even though I wasn't, so I couldn't buy. They decided to do it anyway, and I just watched. Now, when everyone else is drunk, and you're sober, it isn't that fun. What they were doing wasn't that entertaining to me now that I was thinking straight, and when we're all sober, we come up with enough jokes and fun things to do to have a good time, without the alcohol. The worst part is that one of my friends has to drive over to get together with us, since he lives a while away. He always says that he waits in his car until he is able to drive, but everyone knows that you are the worst judge of whether you are sober or not.

 

I just don't like having to drink once a week now, my friends are already planning on doing it again next week. It doesn't help that I don't get all that much allowance, and that the drinking takes a considerable portion of it.

 

Just this friday, there were police waiting at the area they went to go drinking, one of my friends saw them before we got too close, so they never noticed us, but what happens if we aren't so lucky next time?

 

Being a guy, it's hard to tell my friends that I don't appreciate what they're doing without looking like a " * * * * *". I don't want my friend getting into an accident with his car, and I don't want to have to rely on drinking to have a good time. We were perfectly capable of enjoying ourselves on a friday night without it up until two weeks ago, I don't see why it has to change.

 

I've already told them that I don't enjoy the idea of it, but I don't think they know just how much I don't like it. How can I present it to them so that I don't come off as a loser?

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

YOu need to realize that even if alchohol is fun, its not a answer. If your not comfortable doing what ever your doing.Then don't do it. This is coming from someone who use to drink a case of beer a night to escape her memories.

[shorty20]

yea, I would be very very carefull with getting into the habit of drinking. Especially when you're underage, even if you're not drinking and you're just hanging out with these friends and the police come, you could get in trouble too just for being there (depending on the cop)... I would be very carefull. You dn't want to get into the habit of having to drink to have fun... quit while you're ahead and while you still have your head on streight.

[Striker17]

That's the thing, I really don't want to get into the habit, but my friends don't want to. These are my closest friends, they all live close by, and they're all great people to hang out with. I just don't know how to tell them that I don't want it. They all say it's a lot more fun, but I don't think so. Even if I plan something, they just go drinking afterwards. Is there anyway for me to get it to stop? Last time I said I don't think we should, they just said that I shouldn't join them then, but that would mean doing absolutely nothing on a friday night.

[shorty20]

maybe you should sit back and wonder if they're really good friends if they won't consider your feelings or what you want to do. You might want to think about finding some friends that respect you and your opinion. Or, maybe just go out to planned stuff with them... and when they go to drink, just either go out with someone else or go home... i know it's hard but you'll thank yourself when they all have MIPs or DUIs and you don't. It's hard not to give into peer pressure, but you'll thank yourself in the end

[avman]

You cannot make your friends stop. But you don't have to join them if it makes you uncomfortable. Peer pressure can be a tough thing if you feel that all your friends are doing something. But it takes a lot of maturity and responsibility to stand up for yourself and say "No, I'm not going to do that."

 

True friends will understand and respect your decision.

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

I agree with shorty and avman

[Cadence308]

I agree with shorty20. You need to consider if these guys are really good friends. They don't sound all that bright. If you are not comfortable and it sounds to me like you have multiple reasons to be uncomfortable then you need to be firm, stand your ground, and tell them that you are uncomfortable and why and not give in to them.

 

You can't control your friends and their decisions. That is a fact of life. It sounds like you have already tried a little to get them to see that what you all have been doing is destructive. If it doesn't work and they keep doing things and making decisions that you don't like, then you should probably stop hanging out with them.

 

I was in a similar situation in high school. I was terrified of my mom because she has anger issues and I knew that if she found out about anything that I did that she would not approve of, that I would be grounded for 1-2 weeks. My friends started drinking our Freshman year of high school and I stopped hanging around these people with the exception of at school. They met other friends and I met other friends. Granted, high school was a lonely time for me and I didn't go to parties and didn't get drunk. But, I also have a master's degree in college, didn't have to attend AA meetings or other substance abuse programs, didn't end up with underage drinking tickets or DUIs, didn't kill anyone from wreckless driving, didn't get knocked up, actually finished high school, etc. You really have to think long term about what you want because high school is just a very small part of our lives. It's really true that a year or two after high school, high school doesn't matter.

[aggierocker]

Don't listen to these people.

You are still a young dude.

Drinking is good for you.

 

Jesus turned water into wine.

Although, he is no raging alcoholic.

He is a lover and giver.

 

You can partake anything.

Just moderate and limit these.

Too much nuggets makes one fat.

 

Drink responsibly and live.

Always have a designated driver.

Or crash at one's dwelling.

[Jhodas]

Aggie has a good point. You should be enjoying life and possibly experimenting a little. Just so long as you moderate your intake and know your limits.

 

One think I will speak strongly on is your friend driving home after.

 

STOP THIS NOW!! Sooner or later, he's going to get himself or someone else killed. It's that simple. Get him to crash at someone else's, or take the bus and pick up his car later. If you take no advice but one piece, take that one.

 

Having said all that, if this situation does make you uncomfortable, get out of it. Do the things you plan together, just don't go for the drinks afterward.

 

I'm a university student. On the occasions that I leave the house with a group, it's usually to go for a few drinks, but I know my limit, my friends don't have a problem with me leaving early if I want to. They may goad me a little, but they're still my friends in the morning.

[Striker17]

I realise that I probably should just leave them be. I have other friends, it's just that these guys are my best friends, and I always had a great time with them. I don't mind drinking occasionally, it's just doing it every weekend. I wouldn't even mind if we did it once a month, since it is fun. I just don't feel like spending my money this way. It doesn't help that I'm trying to lose weight either, the beer I drink is 8.1%, which probably has well over 2000 Calories to the bottle.

 

I think I'll just hang out with other people when they stop by the store, I'm really going to have to try and get my friend to stop driving though. He's one of those people who can't be convinced that they're drunk, even when completely gone, so it will be hard. I really don't want to have to bring a parent into this.