its been 3 months...should i call?

[soulsista29]

My ex and I broke up 3 months ago. We had been in a relationship for nearly 4 yrs. He broke it off with me over the phone and I was really angry and upset with him at the time.

 

I have had no verbal contact with him for 3 months. During the first month we chatted a couple of times on MSN as though we were friends. To me it felt fake and weird. When he broke it off with me he said he wanted to remain friends. To me a friend is someone you talk to regularly, someone you can go to when you need help, otherwise they are more like acquaintaines, right? So when he wanted to remain friends I thought he wanted to be 'friends' not acquaintainces. We have not talked to each other, not even on the fone since the break up. I want to be his friend but I dont want to be the one to make the first move if you know what i mean. I want to keep my pride.

 

I feel that I am getting over him slowly and having no contact with him helps. But he was a big part of my life for 4 yrs. How can I just erase him from my life? So should I call him or wait for him to call me? What should I do?

[NubianLove]

do u think ur emotionally fine to accept that he might have moved on and be in another relationship. If u feel u can do it with no real expectation and would truly like to be his friend, I say do it. I was in a relationship for 6yrs, best friends for 8yrs, regardless of what comes about it, I cant erase him from my life, and we had the best 8yrs, and it'll forever be a part of our life.

Its your call, if you do, I suggest you keep it light and friendly, so he doesnt feel pressured that you are calling to discuss the relationship, but rather to catch up like you would with any other friend.

Why did he end it, and was it long distance that he had to do it by phone? why not in person?

[Bethany]

I think if your not sure, you are better off staying away from him. You're doing really well, why risk it?

When you have NO doubt in your mind that you can handle an awkward situation, for example... he may have a new GF or may tell you he doesn't want contact with you anymore, then maybe it's time to call but until that day comes,I think it's best that you stay away and get on with your life.

[soulsista29]

nubianlove,

he broke up with me bc i was not a gd enough gf for him...he blamed me for our relationship ending....

the thing is i was thinking about ending it with him the next time i saw him..the last time i saw him i sort of new it was over already...i guess we had just grown apart...

he did it over the fone bc he is a coward...he didnt want to do it in person bc he couldnt face me bc he knew id be upset...we had been together for 4 yrs, he at least owned it to me to break up with me in person...i would have....

so anyway thanks for the comments so far...i think im not quite ready to talk to him...i feel im not totally over him yet...i'll just give it some time...

[Frost271]

My two cents on this:

 

You dont sound like your over him. You got broken up with and it seems like you MIGHT possibly be looking for something thats not there. Your risking the chance of resurfacing old feelings towards him and that could lead to possible emotional trouble. On the other hand, Im in the same boat right now that you are. I was broken up with after a 4 yr relationship and being "friends" has turned into complete NC. It seems that your still connected after a few short months and in your mind waiting longer (NC) could disconnect you forever and we dont want to lose our best friends forever..

 

I would like to hear more from others on this?

[furakura]

I agree with Frost271. Is there a valid reason for you to contact your ex in the first place?

To be honest, it's rather selfish of your ex to want to remain friends even after breaking up with you over the phone. It's like he wants to keep you around like a security blanket of sorts. Move on with NC, you deserve someone better.